Red flag for a new friendship?

[Anonymous]

I recently became friends with another mom in our neighborhood. She's a SAHM and I work PT. She takes care of another baby ( 10 month old) full time for another friend. I assumed the friend paid her. I found out this week her friend doesn't pay her and they have only been friends for a few months. None of this is anyway of my business but she has been complaining about the other friend lately. She says ever since the other friend started working she never wants to spend time with her. I asked her how she can work full time without getting paid. This seems very bizarre and I am wondering if it's a red flag that someone may be off with this lady.

[Anonymous]

This is beyond weird. I would stay away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is beyond weird. I would stay away.

+1

[Anonymous]

This is weird. It's one thing to occasionally babysit for a friend but she'd doing it full time without payment. They also barely know each other and the other friend doesn't want to spend time with her outside of drop off/ pick up. She's being taking advantage of.

[Anonymous]

It's weird.

[Anonymous]

Is it a short term arrangement until a daycare space opens up? Something is off with both of them.

[Anonymous]

The other friend of hers is probably a user and your new friend is a pushover and likes babies and wasn't busy and now feels stuck and doesn't know how to change the situation.

[Anonymous]

This is very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it a short term arrangement until a daycare space opens up? Something is off with both of them.

Op here. No. This is what I was thinking too. The other mom works in a restaurant and apparently can't afford daycare expenses.

[Anonymous]

That's not a good arrangement. I'm sure there were good intentions all around but with out an exchange of either $ or some type of reciprocal deeds, the situation in ripe for resentment.

[Anonymous]

This is weird. I would stay away. Something is not right with both people.

[Anonymous]

When my DD was in K a classmate's mom asked if I could watch her son here and there after school for a couple of hours. We weren't friends but the kids played nicely, so I foolishly said fine for 1x a week or so. That mom began imposing more and more with sob stories, her kid was rough (screeching at my kid "I wish you were never born"), and it just wasn't as easy as play dates usually are. I told the mom it would have to stop. I was polite, didn't bring up her kid's bad behavior. This woman turned nasty on a dime. I'm not sure if there's a lesson to be learned here, because I tried to help a struggling single mom and it would have been a nice play date for my kid, but the help wasn't even appreciated and she got really nasty really fast. I wouldn't do it again. Just giving an inside perspective here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my DD was in K a classmate's mom asked if I could watch her son here and there after school for a couple of hours. We weren't friends but the kids played nicely, so I foolishly said fine for 1x a week or so. That mom began imposing more and more with sob stories, her kid was rough (screeching at my kid "I wish you were never born"), and it just wasn't as easy as play dates usually are. I told the mom it would have to stop. I was polite, didn't bring up her kid's bad behavior. This woman turned nasty on a dime. I'm not sure if there's a lesson to be learned here, because I tried to help a struggling single mom and it would have been a nice play date for my kid, but the help wasn't even appreciated and she got really nasty really fast. I wouldn't do it again. Just giving an inside perspective here.

Oh, wow. That’s terrible. When you say she turned nasty, what did she say exactly? How could she be mad at you, after you were so helpful?? She’s not entitled to your services, much less your free services!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it a short term arrangement until a daycare space opens up? Something is off with both of them.

Op here. No. This is what I was thinking too. The other mom works in a restaurant and apparently can't afford daycare expenses.

People here are so judgemental! no wonder you often see posts on DCUM about how someone doesn't have any friends! What it sounds like is the SAHM is a kind hearted person and wanted to help a struggling mom out and is now clearly being taken advantage of. She needs to work herself out of that situation. But I would still be friends with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it a short term arrangement until a daycare space opens up? Something is off with both of them.

Op here. No. This is what I was thinking too. The other mom works in a restaurant and apparently can't afford daycare expenses.

People here are so judgemental! no wonder you often see posts on DCUM about how someone doesn't have any friends! What it sounds like is the SAHM is a kind hearted person and wanted to help a struggling mom out and is now clearly being taken advantage of. She needs to work herself out of that situation. But I would still be friends with her.

No one helps out a struggling mom full time for free. That's absurd and shows this lady has issues.