My kids were instructed to block me on social media

[Anonymous]

Kids just came back from visitation with the noncustodial parent. Apparently they took the kids devices and blocked me and dh from their social media accounts. Wth, seriously.

[Anonymous]

Take the devices and unblock yourself

[Anonymous]

If the kids have their devices back from the noncustodial parent, you should confiscate them unless they unblock you.

[Anonymous]

They keep devices you purchased and pay for at your home only. Done. If they pay, buy your own.

[Anonymous]

Why did the noncustodial parent do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did the noncustodial parent do this?

OP here:
Because the kids use it to contact me while at their house. They were first informed they were not allowed to text or message me. Same parent is currently trying to have a section that says ‘custodial parent will not contact children during noncustodial parents time unless there is an emergency. ‘ inserted into current order.

FWIW, I rarely call the kids while they are at the other house, I don’t want to interfere with the others parenting time.

Apparently kids were informed they would be punished if they unblock me. I’m not going to push it, or unblock myself. It’s petty and stupid, and unfortunately something the kids will remember when looking back at their relationship with that parent and stepparent.

[Anonymous]

WTH? Isn't one of the first rules of good parenting to be that you should keep an eye on your child's social media presence?

Your ex and his/her spouse are f*cking pathetic. Sounds like you are lucky to not be with that person anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did the noncustodial parent do this?

OP here:
Because the kids use it to contact me while at their house. They were first informed they were not allowed to text or message me. Same parent is currently trying to have a section that says ‘custodial parent will not contact children during noncustodial parents time unless there is an emergency. ‘ inserted into current order.

FWIW, I rarely call the kids while they are at the other house, I don’t want to interfere with the others parenting time.

Apparently kids were informed they would be punished if they unblock me. I’m not going to push it, or unblock myself. It’s petty and stupid, and unfortunately something the kids will remember when looking back at their relationship with that parent and stepparent.

I think that's smart. My cousin (custodial parent) was a huge b!tch to her ex after the divorce. He was the one who asked for the divorce (no cheating on either side) and she always felt like he owed her something, I guess. Anyway, she did petty things like this. She had the clause put in that the other parent couldn't contact the kids barring an emergency when it was not their time, this included holidays. So if it was her turn to have the kids for Christmas, he couldn't call or text to wish them a Merry Christmas. Anything she purchased for the kids had to stay at her house. So on Friday when they left for school from her house, they had to wear an outfit he'd bought and put all their stuff in backpacks he bought to take to school since he picked them up after school. Toys she bought couldn't go to his house and then when they got older it morphed into video games she bought couldn't go to his house and then they had to have two cell phones. So crazy! Her kids are in college now and now that they are older, they realize how petty their mom was. Well, they started to realize it when they were in high school, but really understood the extent of it as they got older. Their relationship with her had suffered. I mean, she even complained almost the entire graduation of one of her kids because the ex and his wife sat across the gym and she swore he picked sitting across from her in her line-of-sight to anger her. If he'd picked to sit horizontal to her, I'm sure her complaint would have been how dare he sit so close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did the noncustodial parent do this?

OP here:
Because the kids use it to contact me while at their house. They were first informed they were not allowed to text or message me. Same parent is currently trying to have a section that says ‘custodial parent will not contact children during noncustodial parents time unless there is an emergency. ‘ inserted into current order.

FWIW, I rarely call the kids while they are at the other house, I don’t want to interfere with the others parenting time.

Apparently kids were informed they would be punished if they unblock me. I’m not going to push it, or unblock myself. It’s petty and stupid, and unfortunately something the kids will remember when looking back at their relationship with that parent and stepparent.

I think that's smart. My cousin (custodial parent) was a huge b!tch to her ex after the divorce. He was the one who asked for the divorce (no cheating on either side) and she always felt like he owed her something, I guess. Anyway, she did petty things like this. She had the clause put in that the other parent couldn't contact the kids barring an emergency when it was not their time, this included holidays. So if it was her turn to have the kids for Christmas, he couldn't call or text to wish them a Merry Christmas. Anything she purchased for the kids had to stay at her house. So on Friday when they left for school from her house, they had to wear an outfit he'd bought and put all their stuff in backpacks he bought to take to school since he picked them up after school. Toys she bought couldn't go to his house and then when they got older it morphed into video games she bought couldn't go to his house and then they had to have two cell phones. So crazy! Her kids are in college now and now that they are older, they realize how petty their mom was. Well, they started to realize it when they were in high school, but really understood the extent of it as they got older. Their relationship with her had suffered. I mean, she even complained almost the entire graduation of one of her kids because the ex and his wife sat across the gym and she swore he picked sitting across from her in her line-of-sight to anger her. If he'd picked to sit horizontal to her, I'm sure her complaint would have been how dare he sit so close.

As a custodial parent, I will tell you that clothes, games, and video cartridges that go to non-custodial house disappear. I don't allow my child to take her 3DS there for example because of this.

My ex, over the years, has occasionally returned garbage bags FULL of my children's clothes to me. Clothes that have been MIA for years. I don't like to be petty but it is a real problem. I have had to go out and buy my kid five new pairs of pants not because she outgrew them, but because all of her pants just.... disappear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did the noncustodial parent do this?

OP here:
Because the kids use it to contact me while at their house. They were first informed they were not allowed to text or message me. Same parent is currently trying to have a section that says ‘custodial parent will not contact children during noncustodial parents time unless there is an emergency. ‘ inserted into current order.

FWIW, I rarely call the kids while they are at the other house, I don’t want to interfere with the others parenting time.

Apparently kids were informed they would be punished if they unblock me. I’m not going to push it, or unblock myself. It’s petty and stupid, and unfortunately something the kids will remember when looking back at their relationship with that parent and stepparent.

It is important, as the custodial parent, to be monitoring your children's social media. Not OK to be blocked. I'd fight this in court OP.

I would go along with "custodial parent will not initiate communication with the children during visitation unless it's an emergency", but it's wrong to tell kids they can't talk to their parent when they wish. Outside of the obvious, i.e. you can't be on the phone during church or dinner or until we leave grandma's or whatever. Your kids need to be able to communicate with you and their other parent when they feel the need. You need to have "neither parent will interfere in the children's attempts to communicate with the other parent" or however the lawyers would say it.

[Anonymous]

It’s funny how careless people (non custodial) are with items they didn’t buy and won’t have any inconvenience from losing. Assure you previous posters husband has no problem tracking his own pants.

[Anonymous]

OP, what lead up to this point? There's research showing that kids do better when they're allowed to have free contact with the other parent. Especially if your kids are younger, it seems cruel that they wouldn't be allowed to call mom whenever they want. Is this really something the court would allow?

[Anonymous]

If you pay for the devices, then they stay at your house.

Then the other parent can't play these games.

[Anonymous]

Do you not allow the kids to speak to noncustodial parent the rest of the time or something? Ie can they call/text him at will when they want to speak to him? There must be a reason he is being so difficult.

[Anonymous]

What judge is going to approve an order that says kids can't call their mom? I haven't been through the courts with my ex but good God!!! That seems ludicrous. It will most certainly backfire and it is TERRIBLE for the children. Adults need to grow the hell up.

OP, there is no way I would not unblock myself for MY CHILDREN'S social media accounts. I have every right to know what my child is doing online. If ex has a problem with it, let him take you to court. What a moron (your ex) is.