My kids were instructed to block me on social media

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you pay for the devices, then they stay at your house.

Then the other parent can't play these games.

The kids aren't blocking the device from contacting mom. They're using the device to block mom from seeing their accounts on social media. They can do the same thing from any device that accesses the internet, such as Dad's phone or a computer, so taking away the device isn't going to make a difference. It's just going to mean that if the kids decide to text or message their mom without Dad's permission, they won't have a way to do it.

[Anonymous]

10:17 - I am with you on this. I constantly have to get on my ex to return stuff, like Tupperware we use in the lunch boxes. I keep buying snack/sandwich containers and they just keep disappearing and then I go to make lunch and I have zero containers. Stuff for soccer - I had to hound him to return soccer balls and shin guards and cleats because everything will end up at his house or in his car and I'll go to pack her backpack and we have nothing that she needs for practice that night. And yeah, clothes just disappear into the abyss. (I buy everything but assume that she needs to have things to wear at his house, so I don't ask him to return that.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you pay for the devices, then they stay at your house.

Then the other parent can't play these games.

The kids aren't blocking the device from contacting mom. They're using the device to block mom from seeing their accounts on social media. They can do the same thing from any device that accesses the internet, such as Dad's phone or a computer, so taking away the device isn't going to make a difference. It's just going to mean that if the kids decide to text or message their mom without Dad's permission, they won't have a way to do it.

Then, the kids need to shut down those accounts or stop using them an open new accounts for mom to monitor. Kids should not be blocking either parent and each parent needs to monitor social media.

[Anonymous]

My ex-husband and his wife tried to limit contact with me when our boys were with them. When my youngest was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, I purchased phones and told them that under no circumstances were they allowed to block my contact, or I could, and would, go back to court. They followed my rules. As soon as my boys were adults, they ceased all contact with their dad and his wife, and it took years for him to develop a good relationship with them. Kids aren't stupid. They see what's happening, and who is being mistreated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you not allow the kids to speak to noncustodial parent the rest of the time or something? Ie can they call/text him at will when they want to speak to him? There must be a reason he is being so difficult.

This is the life of dealing with an ex with any number of personality disorders. My ex, for example, is a narcissist and this is exactly what he does. They are difficult, high conflict people for no reason other than their own mental health issues. They don’t need a “reason”, they can’t be reasoned with, and they lack logic in most areas when dealing with an ex. To anyone on the outside it appears that the difficult ex has been set off by an egregious act by the other party, but that egregious act is likely just that they continue to exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did the noncustodial parent do this?

OP here:
Because the kids use it to contact me while at their house. They were first informed they were not allowed to text or message me. Same parent is currently trying to have a section that says ‘custodial parent will not contact children during noncustodial parents time unless there is an emergency. ‘ inserted into current order.

FWIW, I rarely call the kids while they are at the other house, I don’t want to interfere with the others parenting time.

Apparently kids were informed they would be punished if they unblock me. I’m not going to push it, or unblock myself. It’s petty and stupid, and unfortunately something the kids will remember when looking back at their relationship with that parent and stepparent.

It is important, as the custodial parent, to be monitoring your children's social media. Not OK to be blocked. I'd fight this in court OP.

I would go along with "custodial parent will not initiate communication with the children during visitation unless it's an emergency", but it's wrong to tell kids they can't talk to their parent when they wish. Outside of the obvious, i.e. you can't be on the phone during church or dinner or until we leave grandma's or whatever. Your kids need to be able to communicate with you and their other parent when they feel the need. You need to have "neither parent will interfere in the children's attempts to communicate with the other parent" or however the lawyers would say it.

No, I don't agree with this. There have to be some reasonable limits to this. A daily scheduled time for such contact - perhaps before bedtime. Though I'd be more concerned about the ex constantly calling the kids than the kids constantly calling the ex.

[Anonymous]

Get a basic phone for them to take with them ICE. They can leave other devices at home.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends. A friend of mine who was the custodial parent was very protective of her kid and truly saw herself as the 'real' parent. She gave her so a phone when he was about 10. He would text or call multiple times a day about every little thing he didn't like about being at his dads and my friend would get mad at her ex, rush over and pick up her son, call her ex to tell him to do x or y. It made it impossible for dad to really bond with his son as mom was there all throughout visitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you pay for the devices, then they stay at your house.

Then the other parent can't play these games.

The kids aren't blocking the device from contacting mom. They're using the device to block mom from seeing their accounts on social media. They can do the same thing from any device that accesses the internet, such as Dad's phone or a computer, so taking away the device isn't going to make a difference. It's just going to mean that if the kids decide to text or message their mom without Dad's permission, they won't have a way to do it.

Then, the kids need to shut down those accounts or stop using them an open new accounts for mom to monitor. Kids should not be blocking either parent and each parent needs to monitor social media.

Yes, no accounts then unless they're under a nickname and dad doesn't know about them.

Probably simpler to say no social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends. A friend of mine who was the custodial parent was very protective of her kid and truly saw herself as the 'real' parent. She gave her so a phone when he was about 10. He would text or call multiple times a day about every little thing he didn't like about being at his dads and my friend would get mad at her ex, rush over and pick up her son, call her ex to tell him to do x or y. It made it impossible for dad to really bond with his son as mom was there all throughout visitation.

She wanted him to fail at Dad's and set it up. Lots of CP do that. Dad should have refused to allow her to taketh child and taken the phone on his time.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids?

If they are younger than 13 then you need to close their accounts or report their accounts to instagram, snapchat, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

If they are younger than 13 then you need to close their accounts or report their accounts to instagram, snapchat, whatever.

Also, go to the courts and have them write that the children will have zero social media accounts until age 13 and all social media must be accessible to both parents until the child turns 18.