Best way to approach DD-I'm concerned
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Anonymous
| DD told us she is Bi a few months ago. She is 17 and had dated one boy for a few months a year ago. She is now seeing an 18 y.o. female. She doesn't share much with us and is very closed- is keeping to herself at home. She hasn't been very social over the last year, very seldom does anything with friends, no dances, no sports or school activities. She has had some CBT for therapy for anxiety. She seems a bit flat. I'm worried about her isolating herself and told her that if she's interested in talking to someone, I could schedule a therapy session. She found it offensive that I asked because it insinuates that she has a problem because she's bi. I have no idea what the best approach is- I just want her to be healthy/happy. I imagine life is confusing for her right now. Any advice? |
Anonymous
| I strongly advise you to MYOB |
Anonymous
| The best thing you can do is just love and support her. Maybe ask her if she wants to go to Pride with you in June. Show her you love her no matter what. |
Anonymous
| Social media is convincing kids and teens they are bi, gay, trans, ace, or any number of things. OP is right to be concerned. |
Anonymous
| What exactly is the problem, OP? That she's bi? That she's dating an "older" woman? That she only tried one boy? That she's not very social? That she seems "a bit flat"? That you seem to suffer from vague anxiety? |
Anonymous
| I suggest counseling for you, because life is confusing for you right now. |
Anonymous
| I’d just reiterate what I tell my son. I don’t care who he dates but I do care that it is a respectful and kind relationship. For both of them. I’d worry more about unhealthy romantic relationships that have manipulation, or even violence. |
Anonymous
| I agree with the previous poster to separate off the sexuality conversation by engaging in some support around it, like attend a Pride event. As a mom, you know your kid, and if she seems flat and isolated, that is real. I'd say try spending more time together just hanging out or doing things she likes and see if she opens up. It could be drug use or alcohol changing her moods. If she's an otherwise good kid and good student, getting close to her now should give you the insight she needs. If you have personal experiences that seem relevant, sharing them with her might be a good idea now. If your relationship is damaged already from bad history, so it seems daunting to be close and spend time together, then you need family counseling anyway, and now is as good a time to start as any. |
Anonymous
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My mom was always trying to get me to a therapist to deal without "my issues".
Totally insulting. She picked the wrong issues to worry about. If there is anything on your list causing worry, it would be "kind of flat" but I suspect that is just what she chooses to show to you. |
Anonymous
| Dcum: it’s so cool and edgy to have a bisexual daughter. Op must be a bigot. (Ignores everything else op posted about her concerns). |
Anonymous
Every mom on DCUM seems to have nameless wordless high level anxiety. Lucky OP to have a hook for hers. |
Anonymous
Yeah, a lot of this is performative. It might be she actually is bi, but it's far more likely it's performative. |
Anonymous
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I don't understand what her sexuality has to do with your concerns about anxiety, and neither does she. But the fact that you include that she's bi in your post (when it's not really relevant) is pretty clear evidence that you DO have concerns about her sexuality. And she can tell.
In short, you probably were offensive to her, sorry. |
Anonymous
38 male. I don’t identify with any of the categories you listed. And am not on social media. Would you consider that maybe social media gives people a comfort level in not hiding who they are. They may find comfort in knowing that there are other people in the world that have the same thoughts or feelings as they do. Furthermore is what do you care, if they are happy who cares? |
Anonymous
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I didn't read the OP's post as her being upset about the bi issue at all. It sounds to me like a mom concerned because her daughter seems isolated, maybe depressed, but clearly going through some kind of hard time and she wants to help.
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