How to handle arrest but not convicted record

Anonymous
How do I handle this? I signed a job offer, pending a background check. I got charged in juvenile and domestic court in 2016 and the case was dismissed. I am in the process of expungement but it hasn't been officially expunged.

I am ashamed to admit the charge was as a result of me fighting back against an abusive ex boyfriend. However, since I had no proof and no money at the time for a decent lawyer, my lawyer recommended taking the easier route. How should I handle this? Should I wait for the company to ask me, or be honest ahead of time? I can't remember regarding the application if it asked if I was ever convicted of anything or arrested.
Anonymous
Read what they are checking carefully...most backround checks (with the exception of government clearances) just look for convictions So the question will say "have you ever been convicted of a crime?" .....the thought being you can accused of a lot of things but the court is arbiter of the truth but for clearance purposes (which is a trustworthiness test) they want to know both....
Anonymous
Just answer the questions they ask honestly. If they only ask about convictions, then you don't have to list it. If they ask about arrests, you say that you were arrested for X crime on X date, and that the case was dismissed.

I'm not sure what you mean by "the easier route." Did you plead guilty?
Anonymous
Op here - I did the background check information last night and it didn't ask me anything about arrests, convictions, etc. only my permission for background check.

PP, by the easier route, he said that proving I was a victim when I hadn't ever told anyone was hard to prove but I did not plead guilty, I said no-contest.
Anonymous
OP, your story is a little fishy as you wouldn't have been charged without some sort of evidence of you being violent (i.e. broken door, bruises/scratches on your ex BF, etc.).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, your story is a little fishy as you wouldn't have been charged without some sort of evidence of you being violent (i.e. broken door, bruises/scratches on your ex BF, etc.).


It's right in the OP that she was arrested for fighting back...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, your story is a little fishy as you wouldn't have been charged without some sort of evidence of you being violent (i.e. broken door, bruises/scratches on your ex BF, etc.).


It's right in the OP that she was arrested for fighting back...


Well for all we know "abusive ex" = wouldn't let me sleep over at my male friend's houses alone and "fighting back" = he grabbed my wrist so I smashed a dinner plate over his head.

99% of DV calls the cops are arresting and charging the man, so I stand by my earlier assertion that something about OP's story is fishy.
Anonymous
Be truthful
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, your story is a little fishy as you wouldn't have been charged without some sort of evidence of you being violent (i.e. broken door, bruises/scratches on your ex BF, etc.).


It's right in the OP that she was arrested for fighting back...


Well for all we know "abusive ex" = wouldn't let me sleep over at my male friend's houses alone and "fighting back" = he grabbed my wrist so I smashed a dinner plate over his head.

99% of DV calls the cops are arresting and charging the man, so I stand by my earlier assertion that something about OP's story is fishy.


Op here - I don't need to defend myself on whether or not he was abusive. There was a witness that yes, saw me hit him first in this instance because he had backed me into a corner and was reminding me how much of a waste of space I was. What they did not see was the many times he would kick me out of our apartment when I wasn't working, or when he would tell me I was worthless, and push me to the point where I had alienated myself from my parents, and contemplated suicide. Does that make you feel better to know, pp?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, your story is a little fishy as you wouldn't have been charged without some sort of evidence of you being violent (i.e. broken door, bruises/scratches on your ex BF, etc.).


It's right in the OP that she was arrested for fighting back...


Well for all we know "abusive ex" = wouldn't let me sleep over at my male friend's houses alone and "fighting back" = he grabbed my wrist so I smashed a dinner plate over his head.

99% of DV calls the cops are arresting and charging the man, so I stand by my earlier assertion that something about OP's story is fishy.

99% is not true. I'm not Op, but I got arrested with along side with ex-husband. I don't believe your 99%. It was "he-said/she-said". Cops put zero effort into finding out was not telling the truth. They said they have the right to take us both. So we both ended up in jail and released with "no papered" the next day.
I called the cops, I had reported him before and asked for help, I had even moved out, but went to his house to see my son and he knew I was coming- we were texting, but he forgot and had a "fling" there. Long story, but he had asked me for 10k and knew I probably wasn't going to give it to him now and he flung at me and dragged me down several flights of stairs... I called the cops as previously suggested by DV detective. I was bruised up all over my body, but since it was February I was wearing long pants and long sleeves. Once they arrest you, they don't undo the arrest. You are going to jail and they let the judge who sees you for 30 seconds, decide. The judge was just as confused and probably thought I deserved to be there if the cops arrested me. A lawyer would've "saved me:, but since we were "no papered", we weren't given lawyers. I should've walked out of there are had him arrested later. See, even timing matters.
Extremely unfair if you asked me. I did nothing wrong. Couldn't even fight back since I was being dragged on the floor by 300 pound guy. Happened in DC. Missed my flight to Puerto Rico and got my car towed too. Really didn't see him losing it since I had already moved out, but he did coke at the time too. Yes, coke showed up when they made him pee in the cup. Made no difference. In DC ,they happy if a father wants to stick around.
Anyhow, OP, don't lie, say it was DV and get it sponged. I haven't and quite frankly, I don't even want to waste my time on it. I did nothing wrong and now I'm saddled with it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How do I handle this? I signed a job offer, pending a background check. I got charged in juvenile and domestic court in 2016 and the case was dismissed. I am in the process of expungement but it hasn't been officially expunged.

I am ashamed to admit the charge was as a result of me fighting back against an abusive ex boyfriend. However, since I had no proof and no money at the time for a decent lawyer, my lawyer recommended taking the easier route. How should I handle this? Should I wait for the company to ask me, or be honest ahead of time? I can't remember regarding the application if it asked if I was ever convicted of anything or arrested.

So which one is it- arrested and not charged or convicted? Myself and 3 of my European girlfriends have been arrested in US. It's a business here. 3 of us were let go and no-papered, one got a fine I think. Getting arrested is not a big deal here obviously, being convicted is.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do I handle this? I signed a job offer, pending a background check. I got charged in juvenile and domestic court in 2016 and the case was dismissed. I am in the process of expungement but it hasn't been officially expunged.

I am ashamed to admit the charge was as a result of me fighting back against an abusive ex boyfriend. However, since I had no proof and no money at the time for a decent lawyer, my lawyer recommended taking the easier route. How should I handle this? Should I wait for the company to ask me, or be honest ahead of time? I can't remember regarding the application if it asked if I was ever convicted of anything or arrested.

So which one is it- arrested and not charged or convicted? Myself and 3 of my European girlfriends have been arrested in US. It's a business here. 3 of us were let go and no-papered, one got a fine I think. Getting arrested is not a big deal here obviously, being convicted is.


Getting arrested is a big deal. That said, OP doesn't have to worry about a background check if that's all that happened.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, your story is a little fishy as you wouldn't have been charged without some sort of evidence of you being violent (i.e. broken door, bruises/scratches on your ex BF, etc.).


It's right in the OP that she was arrested for fighting back...


Well for all we know "abusive ex" = wouldn't let me sleep over at my male friend's houses alone and "fighting back" = he grabbed my wrist so I smashed a dinner plate over his head.

99% of DV calls the cops are arresting and charging the man, so I stand by my earlier assertion that something about OP's story is fishy.


Op here - I don't need to defend myself on whether or not he was abusive. There was a witness that yes, saw me hit him first in this instance because he had backed me into a corner and was reminding me how much of a waste of space I was. What they did not see was the many times he would kick me out of our apartment when I wasn't working, or when he would tell me I was worthless, and push me to the point where I had alienated myself from my parents, and contemplated suicide. Does that make you feel better to know, pp?

OP if you really want this job, you have to get your story straight. Your OP said you were “fighting back” which means someone was fighting you. What you’ve posted above just says your boyfriend cornered you and you hit him. You don’t have to explain it here - but you need to be prepared to explain, without emotion or conjecture what happened. Since you are working with a lawyer to expunge the case, ask them to draft a statement that you can use if you need to discuss your charge.

Good luck.
Anonymous
I was once told that employers cannot ask if a potential employee had ever been arrested (convictions only). Did something change? Or does it vary by state?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, your story is a little fishy as you wouldn't have been charged without some sort of evidence of you being violent (i.e. broken door, bruises/scratches on your ex BF, etc.).


Nope. Nopenopenopenopenope.

In 1999, I was living with an abusive bf in college. We got into a very loud fight where he was wielding a knife at me and the neighbors called 911.

By the time the police arrived, he was gone.

HowEVER, my city (state?) at the time had a regulation where in any DV call at least one person had to be booked and taken to the station. Since I was the only one there, it was me.

I was found NG, but it definitely still shows as an arrest.
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