SIL buying too many gifts for new baby

[Anonymous]

My SIL lives two states over, I’ve met her a handful of times but we’re not particularly close.

LO is 2 weeeks old. SIL was not invited to the baby shower, but she purchased two of our big ticket items which DH and I were very thankful for. Then after LO was born SIL sent flowers, but this week she’s sent an amazon gift card and a meal delivery service for 2 weeks. Even my own sister wasn’t this generous. DH just told me that SIL now wants to plan a visit to us when LO will be 6 months.

I’m very grateful that she’s gone out of her way. But it’s starting to feel like too much and I feel like I have to constantly thank her. I tried talking to DH about it but he just shrugged and said she’s very happy for us. SIL is married but doesn’t have kids of her own so I have no idea why she would be so interested when we’re not even that close, it’s almost like she thinks of the arrival of LO as a ticket into our life? I really just want to tell her we appreciate it but we have everything we need now?

[Anonymous]

I’m with your DH. She happy for you why can’t you just take it at face value. It is another person to love your LO.

[Anonymous]

Why was she not invited to baby shower? Is there a negative history?

To me it sounds like she is being super nice and supportive. She wants to see her niece/nephew but is waiting until the 6 mo mark which to me shows resepct on her part. Not sure why you are annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Let her do what she wants to do. Do you not want to be close with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why was she not invited to baby shower? Is there a negative history?

To me it sounds like she is being super nice and supportive. She wants to see her niece/nephew but is waiting until the 6 mo mark which to me shows resepct on her part. Not sure why you are annoyed.

Yep. She sounds excited and respectful. Why exactly are you upset?

[Anonymous]

You sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

Woah- she wasn't invited to your shower? I can't imagine leaving a mom or sister off, regardless of where they live.

When I had a girl I got a bazillion baby gifts. Is your LO a girl? People just like buying girl things. My boy didn't get nearly as much and he was the first born.

[Anonymous]

Wow. What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

This is about you. And it's not nice.

[Anonymous]

Wow. This can't be real.

[Anonymous]

Seriously OP? What are you complaining about. Why wasn't SIL invited to the shower? Why does SIL need a "ticket into your life" ...why isn't she just part of your life?

Is there more to this story? If not, you sound so odd.

If it makes you feel better, if these are not financial hardships, SIL just took a few minutes to order each thing. It's not like she's knitting booties (although that would be an incredibly sweet gesture). So, yes, they are nice gestures, but don't blow it out of proportion. Say thank you and move on.

[Anonymous]

Promptly say thank you, or make sure that your husband promptly says thank you from both of you. Why is this so hard?

Recognize that you are hormonal and "new-mom territorial" right now; recognize that you won't feel this way forever, and go relax.

[Anonymous]

I'm your SIL. My brother and his family live across the country from me. My niece was born several years before my H and I had our own kids. I remember seeing her picture for the first time. She was just a wee little thing but I felt an instant connection that I hadn't felt with other people's babies, b/c we're related, you see. Anyway, I've been showering gifts on her ever since and love her to pieces.

Why do you think your SIL sees your LO as a ticket to your life? Is there some undercurrent that you're not saying? I don't see my brother and SIL often, but I'd be really hurt if they didn't make a big production over my kids, especially when they were newborns.

[Anonymous]

OP, your SIL is trying to be nice. In fact, she *is* being nice--offering you tangibly useful things without intruding.

And of course she wants to meet the baby at some point! Has she never visited before?

[Anonymous]

I'm not really into gifts myself, but I don't think what she's done is that over the top. That sounds pretty normal for any aunt or uncle.

Weird that she wasn't invited to your baby shower though. She sounds like a nice person. You may want to be a little more introspective yourself on why you are keeping her at a distance.