SIL buying too many gifts for new baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here,

I don’t communicate directly with her and I’ve made it clear to my DH that all communication with his family should go directly through him. I love my brother but I don’t have to love and fawn over my SIL and invite her into our lives. It just feels intrusive because I thought I had made it clear my relationship is with my brother, not her.

Geez, just appreciate that she wants to be involved. It will be nice for your LO to have a loving a supportive female figure in her life when DH gets sole custody.

[Anonymous]

If OP is not a troll, it is very different than often given advice that intrusive, hateful ILS should be handled differently. I see nothing intrusive about her SIL, in fact this might be that psycho op who always posts like she is her MIL, or similar seeking some weird validation that she is right. Might be best to ask Jeff to check on this psycho.

[Anonymous]

You are the problem here, OP, in case that isn’t clear.

[Anonymous]

You're a terrible person OP, but I'm sure you already know that.

[Anonymous]

When DH's sister had a baby, I picked out the gifts, because I was much more exited about shopping for a baby, but they were from both of us.

I imagine your SIL was also more excited to pick out baby gifts than your brother, but they both wanted to do something nice for you and the new baby. It's weird that you assume these baby gifts are only from your SIL, and not from your brother and SIL as a couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When DH's sister had a baby, I picked out the gifts, because I was much more exited about shopping for a baby, but they were from both of us.

I imagine your SIL was also more excited to pick out baby gifts than your brother, but they both wanted to do something nice for you and the new baby. It's weird that you assume these baby gifts are only from your SIL, and not from your brother and SIL as a couple.

I was thinking this too . . . but I'm also not sure if it is her brother's wife or her DH's sister or her DH's brother's wife. Very confusing because she says she loves her brother but says DH needs to communicate with his own family.

Or maybe you are all one family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was obsessed with my brother's wife while she was pregnant. I was not yet married but very much wanted children and was just SO pumped. Until his kids were born, I was the youngest in my family (for 29 years!) so it was so super awesome to have babies to coo over.

I really poured every maternal feeling I had into my niece and nephew. I just adored them and wanted them to adore me. I will say it lessened a bit when I had my own kids, though I clearly still adore them. But I had another outlet for all these maternal feelings I had bottled up.

Reading your post made me super glad my brother's wife is awesome and totally welcomed my enthusiasm. I always followed her lead, but she was really wonderful about including me. She really LOVED that I adored her kids so much, because she realized how rare that is. Other people care, but not really. Family is honestly forever.

Don't burn this bridge OP, it sounds like you are on the verge. You will regret it deeply in the years to come if you spurn this affection. Having MORE adults who love your kids is an awesome awesome thing as they get older.

You all seem normal and functional. Who wouldn't want someone who loves your child to be involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When DH's sister had a baby, I picked out the gifts, because I was much more exited about shopping for a baby, but they were from both of us.

I imagine your SIL was also more excited to pick out baby gifts than your brother, but they both wanted to do something nice for you and the new baby. It's weird that you assume these baby gifts are only from your SIL, and not from your brother and SIL as a couple.

I was thinking this too . . . but I'm also not sure if it is her brother's wife or her DH's sister or her DH's brother's wife. Very confusing because she says she loves her brother but says DH needs to communicate with his own family.

Or maybe you are all one family!

I think it’s her brother’s wife. Her point was that she doesn’t communicate with her husband’s family and
expects her brother’s wife to be equally rude and distant. She doesn’t understand that the brother’s wife is normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When DH's sister had a baby, I picked out the gifts, because I was much more exited about shopping for a baby, but they were from both of us.

I imagine your SIL was also more excited to pick out baby gifts than your brother, but they both wanted to do something nice for you and the new baby. It's weird that you assume these baby gifts are only from your SIL, and not from your brother and SIL as a couple.

I was thinking this too . . . but I'm also not sure if it is her brother's wife or her DH's sister or her DH's brother's wife. Very confusing because she says she loves her brother but says DH needs to communicate with his own family.

Or maybe you are all one family!

I think it’s her brother’s wife. Her point was that she doesn’t communicate with her husband’s family and
expects her brother’s wife to be equally rude and distant. She doesn’t understand that the brother’s wife is normal.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL lives two states over, I’ve met her a handful of times but we’re not particularly close.

LO is 2 weeeks old. SIL was not invited to the baby shower, but she purchased two of our big ticket items which DH and I were very thankful for. Then after LO was born SIL sent flowers, but this week she’s sent an amazon gift card and a meal delivery service for 2 weeks. Even my own sister wasn’t this generous. DH just told me that SIL now wants to plan a visit to us when LO will be 6 months.

I’m very grateful that she’s gone out of her way. But it’s starting to feel like too much and I feel like I have to constantly thank her. I tried talking to DH about it but he just shrugged and said she’s very happy for us. SIL is married but doesn’t have kids of her own so I have no idea why she would be so interested when we’re not even that close, it’s almost like she thinks of the arrival of LO as a ticket into our life? I really just want to tell her we appreciate it but we have everything we need now?

So you think only people with kids normally take an interest in their nieces & nephews? How odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here,

I don’t communicate directly with her and I’ve made it clear to my DH that all communication with his family should go directly through him. I love my brother but I don’t have to love and fawn over my SIL and invite her into our lives. It just feels intrusive because I thought I had made it clear my relationship is with my brother, not her.

You overplayed your hand with this comment. Be more subtle next time in your trolling.

[Anonymous]

Some people are just generous. They like to give and it's a happy occasion. My brother gives to my son and puts alot of thought into it and he doesn't even make much money. I don't stop him from giving because he wants to do it. He actually watched my son on a daily basis for several months when my son was just a baby. He has great memories of carrying my son to walk around the neighborhood.

Where is the MIL? maybe she's filling in for the MIL? Usually MIL do all this giving.

[Anonymous]

OP, honey, no. SIL is not being intrusive at all. She is being gracious, generous and respecful while also excited and happy. You are very cold, negative and bitchy. Allow your children to be loved. Allow people to show you and your Family kindess. You are in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you're allowing your hormones to get the best of you here. Your SIL sounds like a lovely, thoughtful person who will be a wonderful aunt. No reason to interfere with that process unless you're feeling jealous or insecure.

The more people that love your baby, the better.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's just very happy for her brother.

I am generous and this looks like something I would do for my own brother of if I were a Godmother.

If at some point you think this is really too much, just give her a hint that your baby has everything he needs