What do you do with your ADHD defiant preschool kids? Daycare, nanny, or SAH

[Anonymous]

We are considering options for our ADHD defiant speech delayed preschool child. Something is setting him off at daycare and he has become a consistent biter. Oftentimes it is when the teacher is not looking and intervening prior to incidents. What do you do for your ADHD defiant child? Do you hire a nanny? If so, is the nanny dedicated to this one child and you send your other kids to daycare? If you keep your SN child in daycare, how do you cope with these issues (keep on switching daycares)? If you SAH, how do you manage both your SN child and your neuro-typical child who also needs attention (toddler)?

[Anonymous]

What kind of medical support is in place now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of medical support is in place now?

No official support because our appointment at the autism center isn’t until May. Once we get the official diagnosis we get more treatment options.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes a change in daycare is all that is needed. A new environment, fresh start and experienced teachers. If the large group setting is an issue, then nanny route may be best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of medical support is in place now?

No official support because our appointment at the autism center isn’t until May. Once we get the official diagnosis we get more treatment options.

PP meant medication for ADHD. Who diagnosed it? Is it categorized as severe?
(My son's ADHD was described as moderate to severe by the psychologist at Stixrud's, for example. He needs meds to function at school.)

[Anonymous]

I would pull him out from daycare. It is not a good environment for him right now. Your other kids go to daycare, you want them to be least affected by the difficulties of SN child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would pull him out from daycare. It is not a good environment for him right now. Your other kids go to daycare, you want them to be least affected by the difficulties of SN child.

We can’t afford a nanny for one and daycare for the other.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford one nanny for all your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of medical support is in place now?

No official support because our appointment at the autism center isn’t until May. Once we get the official diagnosis we get more treatment options.

PP meant medication for ADHD. Who diagnosed it? Is it categorized as severe?
(My son's ADHD was described as moderate to severe by the psychologist at Stixrud's, for example. He needs meds to function at school.)

Children’s provided the initial diagnosis but couldn’t confirm so they are sending us to their autism center. It took 5 months to get this appointment with the autism center.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live?

Can you get into a daycare that is better aligned with your needs? I do not know specifics so use this as directional - but would a facility like Easter Seals be a better daycare fit?

Will your child qualify for placement through infants and toddlers (or whatever it is called now?)

[Anonymous]

If there is a speech delay, I would be very hesitant to define a young child as "defiant". Children at that age, who can't express themself verbally often become inappropriately physical. I say inappropriate, because for other same age peers the appropriate expectation would be to be able to say "No" or "I don't like that" or lgice that back" or "stop bothering me". A speech delayed child can't perform the age-appropriate speech to resolve conflict verbally, so they are still dealing with it physically like a younger child would.

Your child needs help with this. A lot of explicit modeling. More careful monitoring and an adult who is ready to step in and redirect away from conflict or act as conflict mediator/model. I would literally have to step in on playdates with my ADHD kid and explain, model and mediate conflict.

The impulsivity of aDHD may also make it difficult to pause before physical responses.

Impulsivity and inability to verbally negotiate conflict are NOT the same as "defiance" (which is pretty pejorative).

[Anonymous]

If you are in Montgomery County I'd look at the Karasik Center for daycare/preschool.

They are affordable, are an inclusion school, and all your kids could attend. They can handle things that most daycares cannot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are in Montgomery County I'd look at the Karasik Center for daycare/preschool.

They are affordable, are an inclusion school, and all your kids could attend. They can handle things that most daycares cannot.

+1

And both your kids could go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are in Montgomery County I'd look at the Karasik Center for daycare/preschool.

They are affordable, are an inclusion school, and all your kids could attend. They can handle things that most daycares cannot.

+1

And both your kids could go there.

This looks like a great place but I looked at where it is and it would be 1 hour away with traffic and 45 minutes without. We are west of 270 near exit 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there is a speech delay, I would be very hesitant to define a young child as "defiant". Children at that age, who can't express themself verbally often become inappropriately physical. I say inappropriate, because for other same age peers the appropriate expectation would be to be able to say "No" or "I don't like that" or lgice that back" or "stop bothering me". A speech delayed child can't perform the age-appropriate speech to resolve conflict verbally, so they are still dealing with it physically like a younger child would.

Your child needs help with this. A lot of explicit modeling. More careful monitoring and an adult who is ready to step in and redirect away from conflict or act as conflict mediator/model. I would literally have to step in on playdates with my ADHD kid and explain, model and mediate conflict.

The impulsivity of aDHD may also make it difficult to pause before physical responses.

Impulsivity and inability to verbally negotiate conflict are NOT the same as "defiance" (which is pretty pejorative).

I agree but his current daycare is not accommodating so I am looking at different solutions. The problem is I need to take into account what to do with our younger child. We are still awaiting an official diagnosis at Children's Autism Center in one months. His child developmental pediatrician suspects high functioning autism and ADHD. His OT therapist believes there are issues with sensory processing and motor coordination.