Men: Life changes after marriage/kids
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Anonymous
| Men: how has your life changed after getting married and having very young children? and do you experience a new level of gratification or happiness with those changes or are you mainly frustrated? |
Anonymous
| Tired |
Anonymous
| The fun part of your life is over. It is just exhaustion, hassle, and no sex. eventually it gets better, but the first 5 or 6 years after the first baby arrives are terrible. |
Anonymous
|
Life probably the same way in changes for women. I.e. everything that was me has essentially become a second priority as I am now "Dad." I didn't realize I had so much me time before kids. The good side is that marriage and kids brings out the creative, curious, empathetic, and responsible sides of me, at least the parts that I think are the better parts of me. And the parts of me that I like to work on, I now use them for good - my temper (wives and children will try your patience), my morality, my indulgence... these can be good things, if used for good.
Othern that, the usual fatigue, crabbiness, and wishing the house would stay clean for more that 10 mins. -Husband and father. |
Anonymous
Then why did my husband badger me into having a second when my first turned 5 |
Anonymous
|
I don't know what to think
My marriage is good in some ways, bad in other ways Before having kids, it's nice that I got in more of a healthy routine Can't spenf my whole life drinking and dating if I want to advance professionally |
Anonymous
| And I'm looking forward to having a baby and raising kids |
Anonymous
| We had more sex when we had little kids. It was cheap and we didn't have to go anywhere or get dressed up. Of course we were tired but it was worth it. |
Anonymous
|
The first three months or so were really hard until the baby started sleeping for any stretch of time. Getting up every 2-3 hours was much harder than I ever imagined. At the same time, I think the experience brought DW and I closer together.
DW and I are a boring couple so our lives didn't change that much now. DD goes to bed at 7 and we watch some TV then go to bed at 9:30. I get up a lot earlier on the weekend but weekend evenings are the same. Baby goes to bed at 7 and we watch a movie and drink wine until bed at 10. |
Anonymous
| Kids have been a blast and a wonderful gift even though life is chaotic, everything is a mess and there is little if any "me" time except when I mow the lawn! My DW and kids have made me a much better human being. And, our sex life continues to be wonderful regardless of the chaos. |
Anonymous
|
Busy. Meaningful. Worth it. I think we are going to have a third. DW is a SAHM and likes it and I do pretty well ($200k, 45-50 hpw, longish commute of 45-50 min all on transit) so that makes it easier. |
Anonymous
|
More stoic. Life is more enjoyable, but in a different way. I really find joy in others having a good time and enjoying themselves. Last year for my birthday I really enjoyed smoking a brisket and having 4 families from the neighborhood over. There were about a dozen kids under the age of 10 having fun on a slip 'n slide in the front yard and on the jungle gym in the back yard. I can honestly say it was one of the best birthdays I've ever had. Everything just seemed right.
Every now and then I lament not having time to do my hobbies, but teaching my kids to do things is much more satisfying/rewarding. Like the poster above, DW is a SAHM and it makes a huge difference for our household. |
Anonymous
|
Yes, your life changes. That is if you're a decent parent. Being a parent is a sacrifice. It's not always fun. Often times it's a pain in the you-know-what. But, this is what changed for me and my wife.
1. We stopped going out. With a baby or toddler at home forget going out anymore. No more eating out or heading to the movies. 2. A lot of energy is spent on raising a kid. You'l be tired - a lot. You'll also get sick more often due to lack of sleep. 3. Bedtime is earlier. No kids? Bedtime was 11:30pm or midnight. After kids? I'll put it this way: I get home around 6pm. Eat dinner. 7pm kid takes bath and gets ready for bed. 8pm is kid's bedtime. After walking the dog around 9pm we both head to the bedroom. I'm normally showered and in bed by 10:30pm easy. Too tired to do anything else. 4. TV? LOL, it's barely on. Maybe an hour a week it's on. I've even stopped watching sports because we don't like the TV on. 5. Social life? It's cut by 75% if not more. You have a kid at home. Being a decent father becomes priority one. No more meeting friends after work or whatever. It's heading home to see your kid before their bedtime. Now, is it worth it? Depend on the person. Some men love kids and family. Some men aren't attracted to the "family" life. To each their own. |
Anonymous
This about sums it up for me too. I'm busier (I can't believe how much free time I used to have) and more tired, but I feel more at peace - things just seem right. I get genuine joy from spending time with and watching my children. I also am very thankful for and feel lucky to to have a SAHM wife. She is a wonderful mother |
Anonymous
| Life is less "fun," I guess. But, I love my kids so much, any sacrifices I've made have totally been worth it. |