step dad shoved my son hard

[Anonymous]

My son's mom was going through some kind of fit. My son heard a thud and came out to find his mom turning over furniture, throwing chairs into the pool, back in the house throwing things around. When he came out, his step dad blocked him and told him to go into his room. My son asked what was wrong and the step dad told he is what is wrong and to go back in his room. He then put his hands on my son's shoulders and started moving him back into his room. My son told him to not touch him and the step dad then shoved him into his room and told him to stay there.

I don't know what started the fit, and I don't know what the problem was.

Is this a situation that is a change in circumstances such that custody should be revisited? I am worried for my son. It seems like it's bad but doesn't seem like it would be determined to be on the level of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Ummm...shouldn't you be more concerned about his mother throwing furniture and "having a fit" over his step dad "shoving him into his room?" I probably would have done the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I am more concerned about the temper tantrum your ex wife was having. It sounds like the step dad was trying to protect your son.

[Anonymous]

I don't see how stepdad handled it properly. Son was not responding to stepdad telling him to go to his room so he helped him to keep him safe. I think that was appropriate but I"d be worried about what is going on with mom.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t think about it that way. The whole telling my son he was the problem while shoving him (hard) seemed inappropriate. They’ve had history though so maybe that’s why the safety aspect did not come to mind.

My son was scared to go home, not of his mom but of his step dad. But I can see the point being made for safety.

The mom had these fits once in a while while we were married. They were triggered by what seemed like small things and she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. She believes in homeopathic remedies though so no meds and she doesn’t go to therapy.

[Anonymous]

It's assault.

You should report it so it is documented.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, based on what you've said, it sounds like stepdad was trying to protect son from seeing his mom in a state. When son didn't got back to his room after being asked, stepdad lost his temper and made a stupid comment. I'm sure stepdad was already stressed from dealing with mom. As a one-off, this doesn't strike me as concerning. Of.course, the history is important. How old is your son, and how long has stepdad been in the picture?

[Anonymous]

If he's scared of his stepdad that is really worrisome, and add a volatile situation with his mom-not good. I had an issue with my young daughter's stepmom screaming at her-to the point that my daughter who has always been happy in both homes and fine going back and forth was throwing tantrums when it was time to leave my house. I sat down with my ex and explained that the behavior was unacceptable-the threat that I might try to change our custody arrangement was implicit. The screaming stopped. Unfortunately if your ex is part of the problem, my approach might not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, based on what you've said, it sounds like stepdad was trying to protect son from seeing his mom in a state. When son didn't got back to his room after being asked, stepdad lost his temper and made a stupid comment. I'm sure stepdad was already stressed from dealing with mom. As a one-off, this doesn't strike me as concerning. Of.course, the history is important. How old is your son, and how long has stepdad been in the picture?

14 and a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Yes, sounds like an unhealthy situation. Is your home a happier more stable place?

[Anonymous]

Stepdad escorted son to his room after he did not obey when mom was having a mental health episode and throwing stuff. It was a safety issue and stepdad was trying to handle it the best he could. Since you know of these episodes, cut the guy some slack. The bigger issue is if son is safe with Mom when she's not treated for the mental health issues. He was told to go to his room and refused. There should be consequences for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm...shouldn't you be more concerned about his mother throwing furniture and "having a fit" over his step dad "shoving him into his room?" I probably would have done the same thing.

+1

[Anonymous]

What do you want to happen, OP?
Would you like to have more custody?
What does your son want?

[Anonymous]

Throwing chairs into the pool = more than depression/anxiety.

Mom is seriously mentally ill and apparently refusing meds.

14 yo son is at much greater risk here from the unstable environment/mom than a shove from a stepdad who was probably trying his best to handle this sh*t storm.

You're missing the forest for the trees, OP.

[Anonymous]

OMG the hypocrisy on this board! If it was a woman asking about the safety of her son being pushed around by the new stepdad or stepmom y'all would be screaming abuse and spouting off about customary changes. Unbelievable.