Hotel or suck it up?
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Anonymous
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DH's family lives in CA. We visit once a year for 4-5 days. I like MIL and SIL. BIL has always been OCD but it seems worse now and the kids are taking on the habits too. For example, all the furniture is covered and if my kids scrunch up or otherwise move a blanket on the couch, one of the cousins gets mad at them. Our toddler was knocking on the glass to the screened in porch and BIL reprimanded him. It's stressful for me because it reminds me of one of my own controlling parents and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. It also irritates me that their child who is only a year older than mine is telling my kids what to do and getting mad at them for really random and arbitrary rules. I feel like we should stay in a hotel but it's so expensive to fly us all out in the first place and hotels are tough with little kids. What would you do DCUM? If the answer is suck it up, how would you handle BIL? I have no illusions about any changes and it's not my place to say anything anyway. I feel bad for him and the kids because it's a stressful way to live. I can barely handle 5 days.
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Anonymous
| Maximize the success of the visit - if that means hotel, then hotel it is. |
Anonymous
| Their house, their rules. You don’t like it, get a hotel. |
Anonymous
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Is there anyone else that you could stay with for even one night? I understand exactly where you have been and have just handled staying at their house, but my visit is usually less than 4-5 days.
Could you break up the visit by traveling a night or two away to visit some interesting location nearby? |
Anonymous
| Hotel. No hesitation. |
Anonymous
Pretty much this. And it is absolutely okay for kids to inform other kids of the rules of their house. |
Anonymous
| I'd do an AirBnB. You're away from them but have the comforts of home! No way would I stay with that family! |
Anonymous
| I'm sure they will be happy to have you and your unruly kids stay at a hotel. |
Anonymous
| Op here - yes rules are fine and necessary, but expecting blankets you sit on not to be scrunched???? Are we supposed to just sit on the ground and not touch anything? |
Anonymous
+2 OP, you need to stay at a hotel since clearly the rules of your house are vastly different from the rules of your in-law's house. |
Anonymous
OP, this is a context question. Perhaps the people in the home remove the blanket before sitting OR perhaps after rising the people are accustomed to straightening the blanket that has been scrunched? You don't say but I get the feeling that you're referring to the later and not the former. I can see how a scrunched covering would diminish the look of the room and cause it to look messy such that the homeowner would want it straightened. It is not your house so you need to go with the flow of the people who own the stuff in the house and you need to respect how they want their stuff treated. You definitely need to stay at a hotel and when you're at your in-law's house you and your children need to practice better guest manners. |
Anonymous
| Suck it up and pay for a hotel. |
Anonymous
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Wait, who WOULDN'T say something to a little kid banging on a glass window? EVERYONE in my extended family on both sides would.
"Oh, that can break, don't bang on that. Here, do you want to play drums with this? Let's make some music." |
Anonymous
Maybe fix the blanket and put it back after you are done with it? But really OP just get a hotel or AirBNB |
Anonymous
+1 Also, little kids are notorious about telling other kids to follow the rules (whether or not they follow them themselves). That's really common behavior. If you don't like spending time at your BIL's house, you stay at a hotel. Or you stay at his house and you do your damndest to follow his rules--you straighten things up, you redirect your kid whenever necessary--and you just let any critical comments roll off your back. It might not be tons of fun, but it's not going to hurt anyone. |