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So my inhome daycare lady told me yesterday that she is changing her hours from 7am to 8:30am starting next week. She knows I work at 7:30 and is giving me no time to find a solution. Her reason is because she enrolled her son to a preschool (3 blocks away) she needs to drop him off in the morning. The preschool opens at 7 so I asked why not drop him off at 7 and be back by 7:05-7:10 (it's literally a 3 min walk, 1 min drive), I would happily shift 15min so she can do this. Her reason not to do this is because that means waking up too early to get him ready and he likes to sleep in.... and she gets tired.
My daughter was her first child to attend, I helped her out a bit with setting up her website, getting new clients for babysitting and given her tons of supplies and treats/fruits to share with the other kiddos. I've been kind to her. My daughter is PT 3-4 days a week. Now she has 4 full time kids and another PT kid. She said since her other kids don't start until 8:30am she doesn't need to open early anymore! Here is the thing, I told her I was going to move my daughter to preschool starting Sept, I was being kind to give her 5 months heads up so she has time to fill his spot. When she told me about the new time she asked "oh did you find a preschool yet?" I said I was waitlisted in 3 places but as soon as I had a firm date (Aug/Sept) I'd let her know. She then said "oh can't you move sooner because I am going to move my hours to 8:30". I was shocked when she said it was effective next week and explained that's not enough time, she said she would try to accommodate me a few more days maybe weeks if I needed to but after this week she wasn't sure how. This of course put a lot of stress because I can't count on her next week and now I have to scramble to find a reliable location and since preschool won't open till August My daughter will have to go to a new place for only 4-5 months before switching which is not ideal. I've decided tomorrow is her last day. I was up until 1:30am googling options and found 3 openings thank Goodness! My mother will watch him next week while I go tour the places and have something nailed down by the end of next week. I am upset with the lack of notice, it's not her first time giving me last min changes to the weekly schedule but this is a major change. I don't get it. Maybe she knows my daughter is leaving in Aug/Sept anyways so why not end early and sleep in? The preschool is so close to her she could easily take my daughter with her at drop offs (3 blocks in a residential area) or drop off her kid when they open. While she did offer to give me time to find a solution it makes me very insecure on what that means and I can't deal with changing my work schedule etc on a day to day basis. Do I have a reason to be upset? I feel she is not being reasonable or giving me proper notice. Thoughts? |
| Inconsiderate of her, especially given how much you seem to have helped her out. I'm glad you found a replacement. |
| Have her bring your daughter with them when she drops off her son. I agree it's not enough notice. |
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You have every right to be upset. Changing the start time by 90 minutes and giving a week’s notice is unacceptable.
Get out of there. |
OP here. She cheerfully offered babysitting on weekends. I just told her I need coverage to go to work, weekends don't really help me. I feel like I need to tell her how unkind this is, she doesn't seem to see a problem. She knows I am a single mom and have no free time and enough stress on my shoulders as it is, I have no help outside of my mother (God bless her for stepping up next week!). She knows my job is my only source of income to support my daughter and I cannot NOT work. Honestly it kinda breaks my spirit a little bit. A few months ago in casual conversation she told me she was a bit sad about not having any girlfriends in the area and she needed some adult comversation since she spent all day with kids. I felt for her so I invited her to go get brunch and have a girl's day out which she seemed to enjoy. She did tell me how it's okay that she won't see my daughter in daycare because she will see us on weekends occasionally... I mean I don't really think I want to foster a friendship with someone who has caused me so much stress. |
| The short notice is a problem, she should have given you several weeks, but it sounds like she has been in a situation where she's starting work 90 minutes early every day to accommodate you, while you're paying part time rates. If you leave, then she can put a full time kid in that slot, and have more money and 7.5 hours of her life back. Ask yourself honestly, if someone came to you and offered you a new job with 7.5 less hours and more money, and it came with a positive change for your own child, how many weeks notice would you have felt obligated to give her? I think she had the same obligation to you. |
I get that but it's the short notice (2 days) that seems kinda shitty. The weird thing I just remembered is the other PT I've seen her dropped off at 7:15 when I was running late. She also lost another kid in Jan so she has 2 open spots |
NP- More than a week. She could have offered solutions. Daycare provider knows OP relies on her posted schedule to be able to work. OP can't work and watch child, so there is an inherit responsibility with the job to be reliable. My suspicion is she found a FT replacement or two and wanted to secure them since she knows OP leaves in August. OP your mistake was giving too much notice, but you were trying to be kind. |
| I would be furious and also leave bad feedback on various websites. |
I am very upset and a bit hurt by her lack of caring, but I don't think I have the heart to do that. I will give her feedback to her directly and will delete my previous raving reviews but I don't want to cause her hardship. Feel conflicted about this. |
This. And as for being upset, how much notice must you give to leave? I was required to give two weeks and I would have expected the same in return, though I can’t remember what my contract said. |
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I think most providers would give at least 2 weeks notice of a change in operational hours. I think at minimum I would give 1 month, and likely 3 months notice of a change greater than 30 minutes. I would issue new contracts reflecting the change in hours for the parents to look over, and decide if the changes still meet their care needs.
She may have found a sibling set that fit within her new operational hours, and knew you would be leaving in a few months for preschool care. Very tempting when it can mean more income with fewer working hours. Yet, a reference is lost and is unprofessional on such short notice. |
2 weeks for vacation, 1 month to leave. |
You have to decide what you want to do. She's completely screwed you, as your chance of finding something last minute is slim. You can bend over and take it, or you can try to raise enough of a ruckess that she may change back for long enough for you to figure something out. That ruckus could be negative comments, a threat to sue, etc. I am not necessarily advocating the aggressive approach and it has downsides (and seems to not be your style), but that is an option if you actually want to try to get her to be more reasonable. |
| I would find a new provider. |