DH travelling the week before EDD

[Anonymous]

DH just asked if he could go on a business trip the week before my EDD. This is our first baby, and I'm fully expecting that LO will be late, so my initial reaction was that it would be fine. But, the more i'm thinking about it, maybe its not such a good idea, just in case. He would be 4 hrs away by plane.

What do you all think?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be overly comfortable w/it. How long would he be away? Do you have family or close friends that could be "on call" just in case?

I was convinced I would go after my due date w/my first (based on statistics). I ended up going into labor three weeks early. I certainly was not prepared!

[Anonymous]

OP here -- good question. He'd be gone for a day, overnight. Family could come in town, but I definitely would not want them in the delivery room otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Hard to give you advice because everyone's situation is different, and there's a good chance you will be late and it won't be an issue, so I'll just share my experience.

My DH traveled for work (~5 days to TX) my 38th week of pregnancy, and while I was nervous about it, I let him go, but since I had had some early threats of PTL around 27 weeks and started dilating early, my Mom came to stay with me as an 'in-case', and I was VERY glad to have her there as a psychological safety net. Definitely spent the time a bit anxious about DH being away, and was very glad when he got back (got home a week before my due date.)

But looking ahead to #2, no WAY will DH be traveling within a week of my due date. I had always heard about how long 1st time labors are, and we figured he was only 3 hrs by plane so that even if I went into labor, he would take the 1st plane and get back before the baby arrived. But at 40w1d I woke up at 3:30 in what turned out to be labor, realized it was labor by just before 5, and my DD arrived at 10:30AM. If DH had been out of town there is no way he could have gotten home in time. And while there is a good chance you'll go late, especially for first timers, the odds of having that baby in the week before the due date are just too high for me to be comfortable with it.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, it will be Murphy's law.

If he goes, you'll go into labor while he's out-of-town. If he stays, you'll be two weeks late.

So, would you rather deliver one week early or two weeks late?

[Anonymous]

How does he feel about possibly missing the event? I always assumed I'd be late, but the first was on the due date and second 3 weeks early. You just don't know.

[Anonymous]

I would be fine with it since it's only an overnight. But only if he feels like it's an important trip for him to take.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be fine with it at all (but that's just me). In my family, first baby break downs are as follows:

my son -3 days before due date
sister -8 days before due date
sister -5 days before due date
cousin -3 weeks before due date

I think another way to look at it is how would each of you honestly feel if DH missed the big event. If you are both truly and honestly okay with it, then I would let him go. Otherwise, I wouldn't take any chances.

[Anonymous]

My husband had a business trip scheduled at 36 weeks. It was our first and I figured it would go past the due date, but I was nervous about it so he didn't go. Good thing - went into labor the first day of the trip. If he had gone, he would have missed it. Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

Every woman is different. I had my first baby at 38w2d. A coworker had hers at 37w. Her husband was in NYC when she went into labor and just barely made it in time for the birth. Both of us had totally normal pregnancies and healthy deliveries.

[Anonymous]

I personally wouldn't chance it.

[Anonymous]

My own preference would be for him not to go. My first came one week early so you really just don't know.

Will he be very far? Can he make it back fast enough if you go into labor? That might make some difference

I think your partner should be around and readily available at least two weeks before your due date if at all possible.

[Anonymous]

I had a totally normal first pregnancy and my water broke 10 days before my due date. I was only in labor for 8 hours (with epi) and had an 7 pound 10 oz girl. Before this, I would have thought no problem to my DH traveling prior but now, I am SO glad he didn't!

[Anonymous]

The only way he can go is if both of you are okay with the chance -- not guarantee, but chance -- of him missing a good chunk of labor and/or delivery. In your position, neither DH nor I would be comfortable with that, but you might be.

[Anonymous]

Drs don't compute due dates for first babies any differently for other babies because it does not tend to make any difference in timing whether baby is early or late. More reliable will probably be whether your mother delivered early or late but even then it just is not possible to predict with any accuracy.

4 questions

1. How do you feel about it if he is not there?
2. How would he feel?

3. Also, how critical is it for work that he travel? In this economy, it might not really be fine for him to not go..... if it is very important for work, then he might have to go.

4. He might also want to discuss with work whether once he travels, can he just leave? I am involved with training courses and our trainees within our company come from all over. We are not OK with someone leaving, even for a birth......... we prefer that you attend at a different time. Our courses are expensive to run and we need to fill them to capacity and it someone leaves half way, we actually bill the division for the days trainee was not there, whereas when trainee is there for whole course, it is billed to human resources. Anyway, my point is, make sure it would actually be ok for DH to leave and return home?