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DH travelling the week before EDD
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Anonymous
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for us, we would not risk it, but that is because my husband really really wants to be involved as birth partner and would be devastated to miss it, even if there's a very small chance that I'd go into labor and have the baby in one day (but then again, a friend who just had her first was 12 days early, water broke at 5 pm, had the baby at 6 am)......
That being said, if you both decide he should go make sure you have someone as a back up; he is reachable at all times; and can get back easily. If he can make it back fairly easily should you go into labor (eg, fairly frequent flights, both morning and late afternoor or evening) then that would be reasonable. |
Anonymous
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OP here -
Thanks so much for all of the thoughts. Do you think how my internal exams are showing progress would be any indicator? As for my family history, my mother was 4 weeks (yes, a full month) late with my sister when they finally induced, 3 weeks with my brother, and 2 weeks with me (the first pregnancy). All labors were 12hrs or more and all were induced. I'm fully expecting to be going late and long, if there is any relationship. |
Anonymous
I would be fully expecting Murphy's law to take effect! Internal exams really don't indicate much, from my experience. You can walk around 2-3 cm dilated for days or weeks. |
Anonymous
| I went into labor 9 days early with DS & he was born 8 days early. Internal exam 3 days showed no signs what so ever of labor coming on. A friend of mine was 3cm dilated for 3 weeks so you just never know. My mother was late with all three of us so I don't think it is genetic. I will not want my husband traveling within a month of this baby's due date. |
Anonymous
| I would be totally fine with my husband going away for just an overnight only 4 hours away. A 4 hour flight is nothing, and he can be on the first flight available and with you in no time. My husband is an airline pilot and travels to India, China and Japan about 12-15 days a month, so we are trying to stack his schedule so he's free around the due date, but of course, these things can't really be planned. So, if worse comes to worse and he's in China when the baby decides to come, we'll deal with it. Labor can always be prolonged for up to 24 hours after your water breaks, so there aren't many corners of the world that would take longer than 24 hours to get here from! |
Anonymous
How do you prolong labor? I have never heard of this! Once things get going, I don't think there's much you can to to stop it or slow it down. Of course, there are plenty of ways to get things going. |
Anonymous
Sorry, I should have rephrased that, labor CAN be prolonged in many cases--not in all, obviously. Especially for a first time delivery. I have had a couple friends who went into labor while their husbands were away with the military and their labor was slowed down until their husbands could be there. Once the water breaks, they can hold off up to 24 hours--beyond 24 hours there is a risk for infection, so they limit it to 24 hours. Obviously, who wants to extend their labor an additional 24 hours...but it can be done to accommodate a situation like this. |
Anonymous
Wouldn't that only apply where the person is on pitocin or somehow medically being caused to labor? If your body goes into labor on its own and progresses, I don't know of anything that can slow it down. |
Anonymous
But what were your DADS relatives labors like? My Mom had 2 c-sections, but labors on that side of the family tended to be longer - but I took after my Dad's sister / my cousin on that side, and had a relatively quick labor (<7 hours for the first time.) I also wonder if your Mom being so late was because she actually ovulated late, but they didn't have the ability to track that as well then? As for internal exams - they are useless for indicating when labor will actually happen. Plenty of women go from nothing at all to labor instantaneously, while other (like me) walk around a few cms dilated for weeks at a time. Though I guess there could be a correlation between early dilation and quicker labors, since part of the work has already happened. |
Anonymous
| According to my OB, your due date is the point at which your fetus has reached some ideal state of development. It's the point at which 50% of women who conceived viable pregnancies when you did will have delivered. So your DH has a 50/50 chance of being gone when you go into labor. Is he OK with that? Are you? |
Anonymous
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I read the initial post and was like, hell no! That's crazy! And I read it to DH, and he laughed and said, "Don't you remember? I was planning an overnight trip (2 hrs away by plane) 2.5 weeks before your due date last time. And we were both totally okay with it!" It's coming back to me now... he researched the timing of the flights to get back, how long it would take to drive if it was after the last flight left and he had to rent a car -- that sort of thing... And we'd hired a doula, so we thought she could be the backup support person for at least a while. And we figured, hey, first babies tend to come late, so what are the odds?
But he never went... because to our great surprise, DD was born 3 weeks before her due date. And having DH there was a huge part of the amazing experience. I think the others are asking good questions for you to consider (backup support plans, the importance of this trip to his career, how would you/he feel if he missed the birth). For me, the answer is: I would be miserable if DH missed a birth (and he says, "I definitely would have regretted it"), and there is just no way to tell when babies are going to come or how long they're going to take coming, so I would say no way. Four hours by plane is a long way, too--you have to add in the time it will take for him to get to the airport, through security, from the airport to your side. And driving's not really an alternative option with that distance. If you go into labor at 8 p.m. and there are no more flights out, will your DH have to wait for the morning? Oh, and for the anecdotal record -- I had my weekly checkup that week and was told I was 1 cm dilated but no real signs of anything happening soon. And my water broke the next night. Surprise! |
Anonymous
| I would tend to side with the "don't go". Although, my husband was supposed to go on a day trip the morning I went into labor, and it went fast - and it was our first. So, it was a darn good thing he didn't go. All the labor classes said you'd be in labor for a while, and my rationale (if you can call it rational) was that it was only two hours away by train, so even if I went into labor he could get back for the birth. If it's close, then maybe, but still risky! |
Anonymous
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15:46 --- Sorry -- Due date is NOT the point at which your fetus has reached some ideal state of development. NOT.
Sorry! |