Really unhappy at my job, what to do?
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Anonymous
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Long story short, I have been at my job for 11 years. I started right after college and have really grown my career here. I dont want to say too much, but I work at a small company for an older boss who has a reputation for being very unpleasant. His son now works here and has taken the role that I thought I would eventually get. That hurt a little but since it was expected and I get paid well I let it go.
However, I am the workhorse and its becoming too much for me. I'm under tremendous stress at work and I keep telling myself "its just a job, you have 4 more projects to close and get paid on, then I can find another job". Those 4 projects will be another 5 years and what's keeping me here is knowing the big bonuses that I will make on those jobs. I just don't know if I can do it for 5 more years. Recently, I was out 1 day for being ill. Apparently, my boss trash talked me to my assistant and said things like "she needs to take some medicine and get to work", "she has so much work to do, this is ridiculous", etc. I believe her b/c I've heard my boss say this about other people and that's pretty much his general attitude. It hurts b/c in my 11 years here, I have never taken a full week for vacation, I came back to work 4 days after major surgery (hospital recommended 2 weeks at home), and only took 8 weeks for maternity leave. I have given so much to this company it seems I have earned no respect or empathy for 1 sick day. I could cry typing this. Any advice?? any way to get over this hump and look towards the future? |
Anonymous
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Stop telling yourself you'll stick around until XYZ is finished. Forget the bonuses. They are not worth 5 years of your health and happiness and your path upward is effectively blocked in a small organization that is ruled by nepotism (trust me, I've worked at one).
Start looking tonight when you get home from work. Get your resume in order, reach out to trusted contacts, and start applying. Just applying will help you feel better. |
Anonymous
| You need a new job. Get your resume and LinkedIn profile freshened up and get to applying and networking. |
Anonymous
| This is PP, and you also don't know those big bonuses are coming. Based on what you've already experiences, they could change their mind on issuing bonuses. |
Anonymous
| time to go....you have the experience and salary....your "exit plan" will boost your mood and give you hope for the future. |
Anonymous
| Quit that bitch. My wife hung around at a job that made her very, very unhappy for entirely too long. She made the move to work part time and freelance from home. We are perhaps a little more strapped for cash than we were then, but part of that is having a baby and a child in preschool. She could not be happier, and in fact that change has been more lucrative for her in terms of long term prospects. The really funny thing (ironic, really) is that they have to outsource the graphic design work that she used to do. The guy who took her place asked how she got all that work done when she was there, and if they outsourced stuff during her time of employment. Nope, she just did two jobs for the price of one. You don't take care of your employees, you lose good ones. Same thing happened to my mom many years ago. They had to hire two people to replace her. |
Anonymous
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There will always be an excuse of why not to leave. You just have to say to yourself, "enough is enough" and start looking. I'd suggest getting the resume polished up this week, put out some feelers (if possible in your field), and seriously start applying by next Monday.
You're being used, OP. Not being able to take a full week of vacation in 11 years is crazy! No wonder you want to cry. |
Anonymous
| Hi OP. Agreeing with the PPs. I know it is tough after being somewhere (with someone) for a long period of time - its like starting over. But you have to do it. This is unhealthy for you. Work should be rewarding, and I sense the same work can be done (and done better) if people were pleasant and more considerate. I don't understand why when people get to be the boss, this means they have to be a**holes - no, need not be. So... I would polish up a resume, put on a game face, and in your mind, tell these a**holes, you will be out of there on the first train that comes by. Good luck. One day, you will look back and say its the best thing you could have done for yourself. |
Anonymous
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As someone who has been in an abusive work environment for over 10 years, I can tell you that you are going through some bullshit, OP. You need to get out of there as quickly as possible.
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Anonymous
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You're probably not the only employee who's pissed about nepotism in the workplace. 11 years at the same place on your resume is going to look fantastic. It shows you're loyal, that you've learned how to survive institutionally, that you're committed to your work, and you get along well with others.
It's the right time to go. You don't know that they'll give you a positive reference, either, since your new boss seems to be contemptuous of you, so it's a good time to slide on out to a new company. They won't ask for a reference from your boss because you'll need to be discreet. Can you use other references inside the company? Five years of your life is not worth any amount of money if you're miserable and stressed. It should not be acceptable in any way to continue with this job. You've put your time in - and it sounds like you did hard time -- now move on and get bigger rewards. They're out there! |
Anonymous
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5 months...you stay for the bonus. 5 years?! No way.
Get your resume and network up to date and get out. Nothing is worth that kind of misery and maltreatment. |
Anonymous
| You control your destiny ... get another job. No situation is perfect, but there is not need to stay somewhere abusive. Stop complaining and get on it. |
Anonymous
She needs a hug, you f*(ing bitch. |
Anonymous
She needs a new job. Simple as that. -np |
Anonymous
| What kind of bonus are you talking? You could earn 5 annual bonuses elsewhere, right? |