VENT: I set up a date tonight I don't really want to go on

[Anonymous]

Awh, man. Everyone in my small town knows I'm single. I look like fresh meat and I get hit on all the time. I worked on a project several year ago that involved a local business owner (I worked with lots of local business owners), who then 6 months ago started messaging me on Facebook. He's not the first man in town to do this. A month or so ago, he saw me having lunch by myself one day and struck up a conversation. This led to FB messages asking me for advice on a project, so a couple of weeks later, we meet for drinks. He doesn't bring the materials, and I realize he's interested in me. I had a good time and I said I'm not ready to date, but sure, let's keep chatting and see where this goes. No promises. He was fine with that.

We've seen each other a couple of times since then. He texted a few days ago wanting to get together this week, and I texted and said I was free tonight. But now I'm just generally annoyed. That wound up being a 20-text conversation about what I want to do and where I want to go. I want to get drinks. I've eaten, I don't want you coming back to my place. I don't want to visit you at work. Pick someplace we can both walk to. This after a week of constant texting after I told him I needed space during divorce drama bomb (but that he could still sometimes text me). I didn't mean for it to be tell me what you had for breakfast and tell me when you're going to bed. And then the insistence on cooking for me or bringing me food when you don't know me well. This on top of all of the reasons why I shouldn't have been dating him in the first place.

I mentioned on another thread that I'm separated, divorce drama, and out of shape, so when I have been dating, I've been dating men I shouldn't be dating. Oh, DCUM, I know what I need to do, and I'm going to do it. This is just a vent that I'm annoyed by a situation I created for myself.

[Anonymous]

You have a stomach virus. Done. Feel better in a week or two.

[Anonymous]

just a thought... you could try honesty.

[Anonymous]

You give them way too much info about yourself. You need to realize that people will abuse that. It's always much easier when they don't know much about you. But yeah, probably hard in a small town.

And no texting. Not sure who ever thought that was a good idea for dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a stomach virus. Done. Feel better in a week or two.

Or...you could do a text that says, "I've been thinking about all this, and Larlo, I need to call off our date tonight. I'm still dealing with my divorce and not in the place, mentally, for dating. I apologize for the late notice; I was trying to sort this out in my head. Take care and I'll see you around town."

Like an adult. Easy to do, though, because it's over a text. Hit "send," hop on the couch, and queue up your favorite movie!

[Anonymous]

I know you were just trying to be nice and keep your options open, but it was confusing to tell him "oh I need space but you can still text me." So I don't really blame the guy. It annoys me to when man can't just pick a location for a date on their own, so maybe he's really eager to please and you're not compatible anyway. I'd just be honest and let him go altogether.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a stomach virus. Done. Feel better in a week or two.

Or...you could do a text that says, "I've been thinking about all this, and Larlo, I need to call off our date tonight. I'm still dealing with my divorce and not in the place, mentally, for dating. I apologize for the late notice; I was trying to sort this out in my head. Take care and I'll see you around town."

Like an adult. Easy to do, though, because it's over a text. Hit "send," hop on the couch, and queue up your favorite movie!

This is too much information.

Sorry about the late notice Larlo, but I need to call off our date tonight, and I'm not interested in seeing you again.

That's plenty. Then ignore any begging that comes after.

[Anonymous]

^This

[Anonymous]

Thanks, all. I canceled the date and started watching TGIT. And then I started doing yoga while watching, which was a daily staple of my old workout routine. Body is thanking me already. Hoping to hit thw gym early tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I canceled the date and started watching TGIT. And then I started doing yoga while watching, which was a daily staple of my old workout routine. Body is thanking me already. Hoping to hit thw gym early tomorrow.

Good! Very glad you cancelled, he was being tone deaf and didn't deserve to have that behavior rewarded with a date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I canceled the date and started watching TGIT. And then I started doing yoga while watching, which was a daily staple of my old workout routine. Body is thanking me already. Hoping to hit thw gym early tomorrow.

Good for you- awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I canceled the date and started watching TGIT. And then I started doing yoga while watching, which was a daily staple of my old workout routine. Body is thanking me already. Hoping to hit thw gym early tomorrow.

Good! Very glad you cancelled, he was being tone deaf and didn't deserve to have that behavior rewarded with a date.

She was definitely sending mixed messages. It’s good that she canceled though, because the date would have made him think he was on the right track.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a mess on wheels.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I think it wasn't very nice of you to cancel the date last minute since you were the one that basically was confusing him with your messages. If you did it by text instead of having the decency to call him, you really suck. Wait until someone you're really interested in does that to you, or ghosts you. You'll be back on here whining about that.

Decent people do things like that in the most personal form possible. Meaning in person (break ups) or calling. Texting "bad" news is cowardly and selfish.