5 yr old terribly shy kid going to K and has anxiety issues - what to ask for in IEP

[Anonymous]

My 5 yr old child is terribly shy, will turn 6 as soon as school starts in Fall and has anxiety issues. DC can understand everything but is very very quiet in a class setting (always hesitant and shy in class but very vocal at home). IEP goals are addressing the social skills aspect - just 3 goals saying DC has to use voice loud, needs facilitation to interact and needs extended time.

A gist of DC's recent issues:
- DC always hesitates to initiate anything. Someone else has to approach DC first and pull in DC to whatever it is they are doing
- DC is very sensitive to criticism - If I say, can we do it this way, starts sulking and wants to drop whatever activity and go home
- DC doesn't like to join group activities like dancing - keeps saying friends will laugh and says DC doesn't know the right steps - I say there is no right or wrong way in dancing, be yourself, but doesn't listen. Pre-K teacher says maybe a kid may have made fun during the dance sessions and that turned DC off completely
-DC takes way too long to eat and can never finish a meal quickly.
-DC doesn't report to teacher when another child makes DC cry. Reaction is for teacher to always come to DC and find out what happened.
-Still sucks thumb

DC can follows routines very well, but can easily be bullied by other kids even though DC is oldest in class. Cries a lot and gets upset for little things.

DC already has an IEP for speech and social skills. Our next IEP meeting is coming up soon and they feel that DC has mastered speech goals so no more speech services in K, but needs social skills. Is there anything else we can add to the 3 goals they have come up with?

[Anonymous]

OP here - DC will be going to K in Fall. Currently in Pre-K and the new IEP will be for K.

[Anonymous]

I would focus more on the services than the goals. Sounds like what she needs is pull-out meetings with the social worker to work on shyness/social skills? I'm not sure what other things the gen ed teacher can do to help a K student be less shy, and this doesn't sound like the kind of thing that would merit push in/pull out instruction because it won't interfere with her ability to learn. If anxiety and shyness start to result in a refusal to participate in class, then that would be a different issue.

[Anonymous]

Needing facilitation to interact and extended time sound like accomodations rather than goals. Are you sure you are reading the IEP correctly?

[Anonymous]

How are his pragmatic language skills? My child had/has anxiety and a mild language delay and the biggest intersection between academics and language has been his pragmatic skills: asking for help, participating in class discussions, understanding directions, etc. Obviously pragmatics also affect social skills, too (conversations). If his pragmatic skills have not been evaluated that may be worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

An accommodation might be preferential seating near the teacher and next to a well-behaved, social role model.

[Anonymous]

Where are you OP that you could get an IEP for a child who, it appears, is mostly just "shy"

[Anonymous]

We need IEPs for shyness now?

[Anonymous]

Assuming "shy" is the the euphemism for a real diagnosis... or a soft-landing before one?

[Anonymous]

OP, could this be social anxiety disorder, and if so, have you looked into actual treatment for this?

My child was also very shy starting school, but I would say not quite at the point of it being a diagnosable disorder. However, if it had been, I would have definitely looked into having her evaluated by a child psychologist, and possibly starting CBT. As it were, she came out of her shell, and is doing fine now at age 6. But I would absolutely look into this again if needed in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming "shy" is the the euphemism for a real diagnosis... or a soft-landing before one?

The IEP was probably driven by the need for speech initially, with the social skills added in.

[Anonymous]

How is the anxiety being treated. Anxiety, selective mutism can look like a pragmatic language disorder and you'd waste precious time if you are treating the wrong problem. SLPs are psychologists or psychiatrists.

[Anonymous]

You need to get private therapy now outside. School/IEP isn't going to do much. They don't give extra time for lunch or much else you are asking for. Maybe you should hold them back a year or try a small private that can be more nurturing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is the anxiety being treated. Anxiety, selective mutism can look like a pragmatic language disorder and you'd waste precious time if you are treating the wrong problem. SLPs are psychologists or psychiatrists.

That doesn't sound like a speech disorder. You treat the anxiety with private therapy or medication. This may be a post for ASD/neuropsych mom as more is going on here if child is still struggling in preschool at age 5.

[Anonymous]

OP here..Shyness and anxiety are what is left after a speech delay diagnosis. DC started saying mama only at age 2. We had IEP for speech and social skills. DC has mastered speech goals but social skills is affecting day to day activities. Hence the revised IEP.

DC may be possibly ASD but we haven't had a formal diagnosis. Pediatrician felt that it may be an anxiety issue not ASD.

Currently, DC gets pullouts for speech and gets facilitation for interactions. Nothing specifically treating the anxiety (which happens in large group settings)