When you think your best friend is having an affair.......
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Anonymous
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So long story short, this person suddenly lost about 25 lbs looks amazing, got her lips done, hair highlighted, teeth bleached, works out 5 days a week whereas even getting her to walk was a major effort. Somethings up and she is busier than ever, often "disappearing" for hours on end. There is a noticeable difference in her personality, she is much more hyper than ever, often unavailable and I am just really suspicious that something is going on. She has spoken off and on about the some guy she works with and for a while brought him up a lot more than is within normal for a married woman, but for last 4 months (since her big change) haven't heard a peep about him.
Adore her but really suspecting something is up here. Would you dare approach this? I would hate to see a family get ruined over a stupid mistake (she has 3 kids under 12) |
Anonymous
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This family being ruined or not does not depend on you. Nothing you can say to her will make her think, aw shucks, you're right, let me end this now.
If you want to remain friends with her, ignore it. If not, tell her you know and fade out of her life But please don't think you can save her or her marriage. |
Anonymous
| It could just be a work crush. I had a major work crush and did all these things but it was not an affair. |
Anonymous
| MYOB. Could be totally unrelated. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like she could be bipolar. (Not kidding) |
Anonymous
| Honestly, OP - you sound jealous about your friend's new look. |
Anonymous
Well that didn’t take long 
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Anonymous
| I would not confront a friend about an affair unless I had solid proof. You don't so keep your mouth shut. |
Anonymous
Confront? What is there to confront about? Unless the OP has also been sleeping with her friend, there is no confronting to be done. |
Anonymous
| IDK...I'm thinking drug problem! Sounds like a coke habit to me. |
Anonymous
| I stopped drinking and did all of these things too. My appearance dramatically improved. |
Anonymous
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You bringing it up won't change it. In a former job, I suspect a coworker was having an affair. She'd disappear in the middle of the day and was seen a couple of times with a guy from another office. I struggled with whether I should say something. I her situation, she risked not just her marriage but her job.
I realized that she wouldn't take my advice anyhow. And her ego had swollen from the whole thing to the point that she thought she was so much smarter than everyone else that she'd never be found out. I left that job, but by the time I left, other people suspected. So I figure it's only a matter of time before it all comes out, if it hasn't already. Hubris brings even the gods down. |
Anonymous
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If she is truly your “best friend,” isn’t this something you can ask her about? Not by assuming anything in your conversation.....
Just tell her that you have noticed a change in her in the past 6 mo/year and wonder what is different in her life. Is it the weight loss? Is it a change of diet? I know this is something I could comfortably talk about with my best friend, as long as I started the conversation with NO assumptions. |
Anonymous
This. If she’s a good friend ask her. If she’s sleeping with another man decide what to do next. Me? I drop a subtle hint to her husband or something to lead him in the right direction. He has a right to know. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like coke to me. |