Worry that our kids have unrealistic expectations?

[Anonymous]

I was raised in a very middle class (blue collar) family. My dad worked two jobs to support us, and my mom met all domestic (and psychosocial) needs for our family of 8. Even though my current nuclear family is not wealthy from the perspective of Potomac/Chevy Chase, my daughter has been to Europe multiple times, fancy camps, braces, occasional housekeeper, the whole nine yards. She never saw us struggle financially. I hope she realizes that she will not have this lifestyle until (and unless) she works for decades to achieve it. You hear that kids nowadays expect to start at the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in a very middle class (blue collar) family. My dad worked two jobs to support us, and my mom met all domestic (and psychosocial) needs for our family of 8. Even though my current nuclear family is not wealthy from the perspective of Potomac/Chevy Chase, my daughter has been to Europe multiple times, fancy camps, braces, occasional housekeeper, the whole nine yards. She never saw us struggle financially. I hope she realizes that she will not have this lifestyle until (and unless) she works for decades to achieve it. You hear that kids nowadays expect to start at the top.

That's right, occasional housekeepers don't pay for themselves. Maybe her expectations are much higher. What's the point of this post?

[Anonymous]

Musing to peers. (In close follow up to the discussion of kids working in McDonald's vs. taking an unpaid internship)

What is the point of YOUR post?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she will marry rich and skip the decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in a very middle class (blue collar) family. My dad worked two jobs to support us, and my mom met all domestic (and psychosocial) needs for our family of 8. Even though my current nuclear family is not wealthy from the perspective of Potomac/Chevy Chase, my daughter has been to Europe multiple times, fancy camps, braces, occasional housekeeper, the whole nine yards. She never saw us struggle financially. I hope she realizes that she will not have this lifestyle until (and unless) she works for decades to achieve it. You hear that kids nowadays expect to start at the top.

sounds like you helped her becoming who she is today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she will marry rich and skip the decades.

Marry rich?
You sound youve skipped some decades and landed here from the 50s.
Maybe - just maybe - she can make her own money.

[Anonymous]

I worry that my 10 year old DD says she wants to attend either Brown or Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Why did I just know that some sexist dinosaur would bring up marriage, which would never be suggested as a viable path to financial security for a male.

[Anonymous]

To 11:19, let's call child protective services: someone who could afford to expose their child to international travel and straightened teeth pursued those excesses!

[Anonymous]

Many young adults expect to launch out of university with the same lifestyle they had when they left their childhood home to go to school. They expect to begin, where their parents finished up. Make sure she knows the reality and how to manage her expectations on a smaller budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many young adults expect to launch out of university with the same lifestyle they had when they left their childhood home to go to school. They expect to begin, where their parents finished up. Make sure she knows the reality and how to manage her expectations on a smaller budget.

This.
My husband is always laughing about the people he interviews who are asking for 90k for an entry level position, and asking for promotions and raises after three months because they want to be able to afford a 3k/ month apartment. That’s just not how it works, and it’s not a good starting point for the rest of their lives. Everyone needs a crummy apartment, three grumpy roommates, and a couple years where they have to eat Mac and cheese and plan carefully to be able to make rent. That’s what builds real life skills.

[Anonymous]

Depends on school, but living off campus (and seeing what food, rent, utilities, etc. cost) seems like it could be eye-opening. My college sophomore has signed a lease for next year. Still a big safety net, but more day-to-day responsibility and decisionmaking. She’s cheap, so I think she’ll do okay on the monetary front, but I think that she may be gobsmacked by how much time cooking, shopping, and cleaning can take. Or she’ll live in squalor and on ramen.

I don’t think she expects to pick up where she left off at home. Likes the idea of apartment (vs. house), roommates, less affluent neighborhood, bike/public transit.

[Anonymous]

college and the first job will set her straight..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many young adults expect to launch out of university with the same lifestyle they had when they left their childhood home to go to school. They expect to begin, where their parents finished up. Make sure she knows the reality and how to manage her expectations on a smaller budget.

This.
My husband is always laughing about the people he interviews who are asking for 90k for an entry level position, and asking for promotions and raises after three months because they want to be able to afford a 3k/ month apartment. That’s just not how it works, and it’s not a good starting point for the rest of their lives. Everyone needs a crummy apartment, three grumpy roommates, and a couple years where they have to eat Mac and cheese and plan carefully to be able to make rent. That’s what builds real life skills.

Hahahah! Exactly!

[Anonymous]

^^ The thing is, some industries actually will pay recent graduates a very high salary - but they have to be stellar candidates from elite colleges vying for very competitive jobs.

What industry does your DH work in? It sounds like he is interviewing idiots.