Worry that our kids have unrealistic expectations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she will marry rich and skip the decades.

Marry rich?
You sound youve skipped some decades and landed here from the 50s.
Maybe - just maybe - she can make her own money.

OP is worried that her daughter wouldn't want to. Lots more rich people to marry now than in 50s. OP is not worried that her daughter would be too focused to provide for herself. Thus sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

You are rich.

[Anonymous]

We have a net worth of $10M+. I tell my 12 yr old DD we can;t buy goldfish crackers unless they are on sale.
I'm afraid when she finds out how much money we have, she'll be somewhat pi$$ed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ The thing is, some industries actually will pay recent graduates a very high salary - but they have to be stellar candidates from elite colleges vying for very competitive jobs.

What industry does your DH work in? It sounds like he is interviewing idiots.

IT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she will marry rich and skip the decades.

I hope you don’t have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many young adults expect to launch out of university with the same lifestyle they had when they left their childhood home to go to school. They expect to begin, where their parents finished up. Make sure she knows the reality and how to manage her expectations on a smaller budget.

This.
My husband is always laughing about the people he interviews who are asking for 90k for an entry level position, and asking for promotions and raises after three months because they want to be able to afford a 3k/ month apartment. That’s just not how it works, and it’s not a good starting point for the rest of their lives. Everyone needs a crummy apartment, three grumpy roommates, and a couple years where they have to eat Mac and cheese and plan carefully to be able to make rent. That’s what builds real life skills.

I made more than that my first job out of school. Maybe your husband is interviewing people who also have consulting or I-banking offers?

[Anonymous]

This is not what I worry about. I worry plenty, but not about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many young adults expect to launch out of university with the same lifestyle they had when they left their childhood home to go to school. They expect to begin, where their parents finished up. Make sure she knows the reality and how to manage her expectations on a smaller budget.

This.
My husband is always laughing about the people he interviews who are asking for 90k for an entry level position, and asking for promotions and raises after three months because they want to be able to afford a 3k/ month apartment. That’s just not how it works...

Actually, that is how it works in tech. Clever EECS/CS kids from good engineering colleges get $80k+ offers plus $10k+ signing bonus. My colleague's son made $60k to work part-time remotely during his senior year of college (roughly 8 months).

[Anonymous]

For a subset of kids who are smart, personable and lucky, the salaries can be very high. A family member is at a good, abet second tier finance company where a combination of ability and personality placed him on a good team at his firm. While the actual salary was more than decent at $90k, the bonus potential was even better. With signing bonus, he made $170k first year. Some of my DC's older friends are receiving tech offers between $200 - 300K. They are exceptionally brilliant though and already have experience with next generation CS research. Is this realistic for most kids, probably not. It's the good fortune of the few that is setting expectations sky high. IMO nothing to worry about. The first few interviews will adjust their personal reality very fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in a very middle class (blue collar) family. My dad worked two jobs to support us, and my mom met all domestic (and psychosocial) needs for our family of 8. Even though my current nuclear family is not wealthy from the perspective of Potomac/Chevy Chase, my daughter has been to Europe multiple times, fancy camps, braces, occasional housekeeper, the whole nine yards. She never saw us struggle financially. I hope she realizes that she will not have this lifestyle until (and unless) she works for decades to achieve it. You hear that kids nowadays expect to start at the top.

Do you ever tell her stories of the group house you lived in right out of college? Or your first apartment and how you furnished it? Do they every visit older cousins right out of college? Do they do any form of community volunteering?

[Anonymous]

People can adjust. It's about the kind of person they are more than what you have/haven't done to prepare them. I am downwardly mobile (that always gets a chuckle). When I grew up -in Bethesda,btw- we had household help. We even had a chauffeur ... uniformed driving us in a black limo. Those privileges disappeared due to family circumstance. Now decades later my life is so different. However it is a life I have built. I am happy about it. I am very well aware of the downward mobility but, I'd say, it does not affect anything that is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a subset of kids who are smart, personable and lucky, the salaries can be very high. A family member is at a good, abet second tier finance company where a combination of ability and personality placed him on a good team at his firm. While the actual salary was more than decent at $90k, the bonus potential was even better. With signing bonus, he made $170k first year. Some of my DC's older friends are receiving tech offers between $200 - 300K. They are exceptionally brilliant though and already have experience with next generation CS research. Is this realistic for most kids, probably not. It's the good fortune of the few that is setting expectations sky high. IMO nothing to worry about. The first few interviews will adjust their personal reality very fast.

Salaries like this straight out of college are the exception, not the rule

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, that's what I said. Kids are optimists. The bar gets set very high by the exceptional outliers. No sense in worrying over something we can't control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many young adults expect to launch out of university with the same lifestyle they had when they left their childhood home to go to school. They expect to begin, where their parents finished up. Make sure she knows the reality and how to manage her expectations on a smaller budget.

yup

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, that's what I said. Kids are optimists. The bar gets set very high by the exceptional outliers. No sense in worrying over something we can't control.