Male attractiveness

[Anonymous]

Generally wondering for all the DW out there, how much of your DH's attractiveness at a given moment is the way he looks/acts versus your particular mental space at a given moment. Put another way, what's a working dad to do?

[Anonymous]

Well, I appreciate it when my DH dresses nicely and watches his weight. Those 2 things sure go a long way.

Another major thing that I have noticed contributes to attraction is seeing my DH in the context of work and his talents. Sometimes when it goes too long that I only see him at home and in domestic settings, I do start to lose a little attraction. Then, if I see him interact with a work colleague or just see him do something he is really good at that impresses me, I can get back to my strong attraction.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes forget how good looking my DH is because he's always around. But when I'm at some social event and he comes walking in I'm quickly reminded of how good looking he is. He has incredible eyes and a way of looking at me that still gets my pulse going.

[Anonymous]

For me it is mostly mental Space. I know that this is old news, but the way he acts has a lot to do with my mental space. If he jumps in and soothes a crying toddler while I am finishing up dinner, then I feel less stressed and more likely to want to have sex. Or if he does something at work to help me look good or makes my life easier, then I am more likely to feel competent at work and want to have sex. If he stops what he is doing and tells me I am beautiful, I am more likely to want to have sex. I think sometimes my husband is under the mistaken impression that if he ignores me, then it will make him look more important, and I will want to have sex. That isn't true

Also, there are times that I am just not going to get into that space. For example, if my mom just died or I just found out my kid has leukemia, then nothing is going to get me into the head Space of wanting to have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I appreciate it when my DH dresses nicely and watches his weight. Those 2 things sure go a long way.

Another major thing that I have noticed contributes to attraction is seeing my DH in the context of work and his talents. Sometimes when it goes too long that I only see him at home and in domestic settings, I do start to lose a little attraction. Then, if I see him interact with a work colleague or just see him do something he is really good at that impresses me, I can get back to my strong attraction.

OP - This was kind of what I was thinking about, for those men who already make some common sense effort. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it is mostly mental Space. I know that this is old news, but the way he acts has a lot to do with my mental space. If he jumps in and soothes a crying toddler while I am finishing up dinner, then I feel less stressed and more likely to want to have sex. Or if he does something at work to help me look good or makes my life easier, then I am more likely to feel competent at work and want to have sex. If he stops what he is doing and tells me I am beautiful, I am more likely to want to have sex. I think sometimes my husband is under the mistaken impression that if he ignores me, then it will make him look more important, and I will want to have sex. That isn't true

Also, there are times that I am just not going to get into that space. For example, if my mom just died or I just found out my kid has leukemia, then nothing is going to get me into the head Space of wanting to have sex.

OP - sure, makes sense, but I'm not necessairly saying sex, just attractiveness really.

[Anonymous]

Dh is probably a 9/10 and even when we're fighting I'm still very attracted to him. It's been over a decade now. My heart does melt though when he's sweet with our daughters. Watching him help dress baby dolls and have tea parties is very sexy.

For men to be attractive, I think all they need to do is dress well and stay thin. (Same with women almost).

[Anonymous]

I always find him attractive. My feeling of closeness to him, and thus, willingness to accommodate his needs even when it's inconvenient is what changes depending on how he's acting, and whether I feel like he's attending to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it is mostly mental Space. I know that this is old news, but the way he acts has a lot to do with my mental space. If he jumps in and soothes a crying toddler while I am finishing up dinner, then I feel less stressed and more likely to want to have sex. Or if he does something at work to help me look good or makes my life easier, then I am more likely to feel competent at work and want to have sex. If he stops what he is doing and tells me I am beautiful, I am more likely to want to have sex. I think sometimes my husband is under the mistaken impression that if he ignores me, then it will make him look more important, and I will want to have sex. That isn't true

Also, there are times that I am just not going to get into that space. For example, if my mom just died or I just found out my kid has leukemia, then nothing is going to get me into the head Space of wanting to have sex.

It should not be that complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh is probably a 9/10 and even when we're fighting I'm still very attracted to him. It's been over a decade now. My heart does melt though when he's sweet with our daughters. Watching him help dress baby dolls and have tea parties is very sexy.

For men to be attractive, I think all they need to do is dress well and stay thin. (Same with women almost).

+1 When I see my DH being very sweet and loving to our kids, it does indeed melt my heart. And yes physical attractiveness - weight and grooming and clothes - also helps. My DH has a belly, and it's not physically attractive, but, of course, I still love him.

[Anonymous]

I find my husband attractive all the time, mostly because of his sense of humor. We spend most of our time together laughing and talking, but even when we're quiet together there's such a feeling of closeness, that words are not needed. I look at him and see the twinkle in his eyes?, and I think he's the most gorgeous man on earth. For both of us, there's no other place we'd rather be than together. He calls me as soon as he leaves work and talks to me all the way home, he calls on his way to work and talks all the way there....I didn't ask him to, we just enjoy each other's company any way that we can get it.

[Anonymous]

DH is objectively hot, but I don't view him that way because he is usually acting like an a$$. His overall moodiness, temper, constant yelling at me and kids just makes it all fade away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes forget how good looking my DH is because he's always around. But when I'm at some social event and he comes walking in I'm quickly reminded of how good looking he is. He has incredible eyes and a way of looking at me that still gets my pulse going.

My DH is very much this way but he is never more handsome then when he is playing on the floor with our 2 year old grand daughter. It always reminds me of what a great dad he was....and still is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I appreciate it when my DH dresses nicely and watches his weight. Those 2 things sure go a long way.

Another major thing that I have noticed contributes to attraction is seeing my DH in the context of work and his talents. Sometimes when it goes too long that I only see him at home and in domestic settings, I do start to lose a little attraction. Then, if I see him interact with a work colleague or just see him do something he is really good at that impresses me, I can get back to my strong attraction.

Another strike against stay at home dads....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I appreciate it when my DH dresses nicely and watches his weight. Those 2 things sure go a long way.

Another major thing that I have noticed contributes to attraction is seeing my DH in the context of work and his talents. Sometimes when it goes too long that I only see him at home and in domestic settings, I do start to lose a little attraction. Then, if I see him interact with a work colleague or just see him do something he is really good at that impresses me, I can get back to my strong attraction.

Another strike against stay at home dads....

they are looked down upon by women. of course they will never admit it.