I want to feel like my husband actually cares

[Anonymous]

I had major surgery yesterday. Asked dh to pick up soups from Panera on his way to pick me up from the hotel. Apparently he went to Panera to eat lunch and forgot about my soup. I was starving and had nothing at home prepared. I'm on a liquid diet. I also go to church every Sunday with our 1 year old and I've asked him many times to help with housework. He sits on his ass the entire time. Last Sunday he had the laundry stacked up on the sofa when I came home. It doesn't occur to him to fold the laundry himself. The soup thing made me feel so sad. I'm stuck at home because I need to take the pain medication. He was also an ass during my c section too. He doesn't understand that most people take off work when their spouses have major surgery. I have been refusing to talk to him since yesterday. I know it's immature but I done explaining things to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had major surgery yesterday. Asked dh to pick up soups from Panera on his way to pick me up from the hotel. Apparently he went to Panera to eat lunch and forgot about my soup. I was starving and had nothing at home prepared. I'm on a liquid diet. I also go to church every Sunday with our 1 year old and I've asked him many times to help with housework. He sits on his ass the entire time. Last Sunday he had the laundry stacked up on the sofa when I came home. It doesn't occur to him to fold the laundry himself. The soup thing made me feel so sad. I'm stuck at home because I need to take the pain medication. He was also an ass during my c section too. He doesn't understand that most people take off work when their spouses have major surgery. I have been refusing to talk to him since yesterday. I know it's immature but I done explaining things to him.

Op again. Meant to write hospital instead of hotel.

[Anonymous]

you have a lot a "major" surgery. You sound like you like drama.

[Anonymous]

My ex went to Wendy's after I had our child. He asked me what I wanted and I said a hamburger and a frosty. He came back without the frosty. I was like, "you forgot one of TWO THINGS?" It's not like I had asked for much, or anything unusual. And I had also texted him a reminder. I had just spent 26 hours in labor and was starving.

It was a pretty good window on what our lives have been since then. He has ADHD and there have been a lot of frosty moments, literally and figuratively.

[Anonymous]

Did you ask him to take off the time for you? I can't say I would for my spouse, either, unless he specifically asked for it. Mostly, I'd just get out of his way.

He should have remembered the soup, though. That would make me sad, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you have a lot a "major" surgery. You sound like you like drama.

Are you seriously making fun of someone who has major surgery? What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Adhd. My spouse can’t remember anything unless it’s hisnown thing for himself. Life’s a struggle when you can’t rely on your “life partner” for anything large or small.

[Anonymous]

Even if he forgot he should have gone right back out and gotten you something OP. He sounds very selfish.

[Anonymous]

Don't pout and give him the silent treatment, just stop doing things for him. Don't do his laundry, don't fold his laundry, don't cook for him, etc. If he asks tell him you'll be ready for a marriage when he wants to have one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't pout and give him the silent treatment, just stop doing things for him. Don't do his laundry, don't fold his laundry, don't cook for him, etc. If he asks tell him you'll be ready for a marriage when he wants to have one.

Op here. This is a a good idea.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I completely understand. My (now ex) husband was too busy with work and left me at the hospital when i had an injury. after that happened i realized that I'm not married to a adult who will take care of me when i need him most. I divorced him. I'm glad my hospital incident happened before we had kids so it was easier to leave. consider your options (especially since you have a kid with him already), maybe don't have any more kids with him at least. what happens if you get cancer, who will take care of you? not him.

[Anonymous]

What - you can't pick up the phone and schedule Postmates or AmazonFresh deliveries?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What - you can't pick up the phone and schedule Postmates or AmazonFresh deliveries?

I'm single and that's what *I* would do. When you have a spouse you should be able to count on them to take care of you after surgery.

[Anonymous]

Just curious, but if he forgot your soup, why did you not ask him to stop and get it after he picked you up? That's what I would have done. I would also go on strike if my husband sat around and did nothing. If he gets to do nothing, so do I.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he's been spoiled by his mother and then maybe by you. Start with making him do his own laundry and other things you normally do for him.