DD 5 year old friend told her she won't come back to her dirty house

[Anonymous]

I am hurt and feel a bit sad for my 5 year old daughter. She always has play dates at her friend's house and then we had a play date this past weekend and my daughter told me that her friend said we have a dirty house and she doesn't want to come back. I can't help but take this personally as DH and I work full time, have 3 kids under 7, bust our butt on the weekends to clean our house. It's not perfect but it's the best we can do. Her parents do have cleaning people weekly if not daily, we don't have that luxury. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

How dirty is your house?

What did she see that she viewed as dirty?

[Anonymous]

Well either do a better job at cleaning your house or grow a thicker skin. I hardly think the five year old was trying to hurt your feelings.

[Anonymous]

I have a 5 year old. I cannot imagine him ever saying a house was too dirty to play at. Now, if your house smelled, yeah he would probably tell me he didn't want to come back.


Either you are trolling off the other post, or your house is inexcusably dirty.

[Anonymous]

5 year olds say the darndest things, PP, I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that OP's house is shockingly dirty...

Just ignore it, OP, and who knows? The 5 year old may have forgotten all about it next week.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes we get wake-up calls. If a 5yo thinks your house is dirty, either it really is dirty, or she has weird ideas about dirt. Take a hard long look at your place, and consider maybe a monthly service to keep things under control. If you can't afford that, then maybe a one-time deep cleaning to get things to a good starting place that's easier to maintain.

I'll be honest, I only work part-time, and I have a hard time keeping up with everything. I often think I'd lose it if I worked full-time.

[Anonymous]

A 5 or 6 yo once looked at my kitchen floor and said it was dirty. It wasn't. She was at a play date at our house and our whole house was out of date. Her house was much newer and therefore likely looked cleaner to a little kid. It's a rude comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 5 or 6 yo once looked at my kitchen floor and said it was dirty. It wasn't. She was at a play date at our house and our whole house was out of date. Her house was much newer and therefore likely looked cleaner to a little kid. It's a rude comment.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Nice try.

[Anonymous]

Time to hire a cleaning service

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 5 or 6 yo once looked at my kitchen floor and said it was dirty. It wasn't. She was at a play date at our house and our whole house was out of date. Her house was much newer and therefore likely looked cleaner to a little kid. It's a rude comment.

Exactly.

I think it must be something like this. Her house may be some amazing, newly renovated place and she may be seeing a regular house and thinking it's not what she is used to seeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 5 or 6 yo once looked at my kitchen floor and said it was dirty. It wasn't. She was at a play date at our house and our whole house was out of date. Her house was much newer and therefore likely looked cleaner to a little kid. It's a rude comment.

Exactly.

I think it must be something like this. Her house may be some amazing, newly renovated place and she may be seeing a regular house and thinking it's not what she is used to seeing.

I can see this. I remember as a child refusing to sit on wooden chairs that had visible knots on them because they were "dirty".

[Anonymous]

My niece who has Asperger's would totally say something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 5 or 6 yo once looked at my kitchen floor and said it was dirty. It wasn't. She was at a play date at our house and our whole house was out of date. Her house was much newer and therefore likely looked cleaner to a little kid. It's a rude comment.

Exactly.

I think it must be something like this. Her house may be some amazing, newly renovated place and she may be seeing a regular house and thinking it's not what she is used to seeing.

I can see this. I remember as a child refusing to sit on wooden chairs that had visible knots on them because they were "dirty".

+1 to all the above, and OP, ignore the posters saying your house must be dirty. At five years old, this girl's personal definition of "dirty" could mean anything at all. It could mean a house that's older than hers. A house with dimmer lights, with books on the coffee table instead of out of sight, with knotty chairs! What she thinks is no reason for you to feel bad as an adult. OP, my own DD heard almost exactly the same thing at the same age! Her play date friend lived in a much newer house that had a lot more floor space than our old, very small house, and I suspect thought that the lack of lots of open space made it "dirty" to her.

The one and only thing to focus on here, OP, is not the housekeeping at all. (I'm sure it's fine.) The focus is on how your own DD feels about her friend's comment. How did DD report this to you? Does DD now think the house is "dirty" herself? Is she upset, hurt, or maybe just puzzled? Please don't over-talk all this with your DD now that the comment is over and done with, but if she brings it up herself, be ready with what you want to say. I'd mostly just distract from the issue. If this girl is otherwise fine, shrug it off and wait for spring and do play dates at parks if you want. If the girl tends to do the "I don't want to play here/with you" stuff and finds other reasons not to play nicely with your DD, well, start thinking of new play date friends.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of whether it's true, age 5 is old enough to realize that's rude. She may have been in a temporary snit with your DC and wanted to say something mean.