Separating from DW - how close is too for apartment?

[Anonymous]

DW and I are about to separate. We have 3 kids under 10. I’m moving out of house - how close is too close for an apartment? There are apartments in our immediate neighborhood - a couple of blocks away. Or I could move a mile or two away.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter. I'd think closer either be easier for seeing kids, etc.

[Anonymous]

What do think is best for your children? Especially if you are actually and allowing them easier access to you?

[Anonymous]

The closer the better for the children.

[Anonymous]

Whatever is best for the children.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there's any meaningful difference between a couple of blocks and a mile, you'll still be in the same area, going to the same stores, etc.

[Anonymous]

We live very close to each other. Like same school bus stop close.

For now it works for us. The community is situated so we don’t have to drive by each other’s homes which is nice.

The great thing is the logistics for the kids. If I drop off for sports practice, it’s not a big deal for him to bring the kids home. And as I said, the school bus stop is the same which creates continuity for the kids. Our kids can ride their bikes between our homes so it’s not unusual to have dinner with one parent and sleep in the other home. If the kids are going between on homes we text each other that they have left and arrived—similar to how we handle it when the kids go to their other friends homes on their own.

[Anonymous]

You have kids. The closer the better.
You and DW need to act like the adults you are and deal if you see each other at the grocery store etc.

[Anonymous]

Is the neighborhood such that the kids can safely walk / ride bikes between the houses because that will be a temptation for them and you? If yes, then I think that would be ideal. Otherwise, no more than 5-10 min drive away (in the same town) which worked for me.

[Anonymous]

We live about a half mile apart. I have seen my ex and ap out together a few times, but honestly the convenience of living so close outweighs seeing them occasionally. I would say choose the closer location as long as no one in the situation is the super jealous type.

[Anonymous]

Are you going to be having a new girlfriend there? if so, should be further to avoid bumping in to them at all times.

[Anonymous]

When my ex-husband and I first separated, he moved into an extra house at my mom's, where the kids could see him all the time. A few years later when they were well-adjusted, he moved to the Midwest, and they spend their summers with him. He tries to come in for Christmas every year and stays either with us or with my adult son. We have always had a great relationship, so the kids are happy. The time that he spent during our separation when he was available to them was definitely necessary for the adjustment period.

[Anonymous]

When we separated, I (wife) moved into an apartment that was 4 blocks from the marital home. Logistically, it made things very easy because it took 5 minutes to get between his place and mine. Socially, it was mostly fine, though there were a few times when we ended up at the same brunch place or ran into each other at the grocery store or whatever. It was a little bit awkward, but like the PP said, we are adults and dealt with it like adults.

[Anonymous]

I would take the closest possible option. It will be best for the kids and as long as the parents can find a way to be amicable it will make logistics infinitely easier for everyone.

[Anonymous]

My ex moved into an apartment 3 blocks away 2 years ago, and in that time I've only seen him unexpectedly once (at the metro). I was concerned about it, but it hasn't been an issue.