Separating from DW - how close is too for apartment?

[Anonymous]

DON'T MOVE OUT. SHE SHOULD MOVE OUT.

Also, closer the better for the kids.

[Anonymous]

I am friends with a couple who just separated. The dad moved to a building two blocks away. It seems to be working out well.

I would vote for close by. I think it makes it easier on the kids. Which ever parent they are staying with they are still in the same neighborhood with their friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we separated, I (wife) moved into an apartment that was 4 blocks from the marital home. Logistically, it made things very easy because it took 5 minutes to get between his place and mine. Socially, it was mostly fine, though there were a few times when we ended up at the same brunch place or ran into each other at the grocery store or whatever. It was a little bit awkward, but like the PP said, we are adults and dealt with it like adults.

I don't understand why it would be weird seeing an ex at the grocery store if you have kids. Presumably you see them sometimes when you exchange the kids or you both attend certain events for your kids so why would seeing someone at the store be any different? I suppose it might be a little weird seeing them with a new person they are dating but you're divorced and people do date.

[Anonymous]

A few blocks away is too close if you will be living with an affair partner. People tend to socialize within the neighborhood and bringing an affair partner into the neighborhood where your wife and kids live creates all kinds if drama and dilemmas among neighborhood families about how to schedule social affairs w/ 1 or both of you. Instead of figuring it out, a lot of people will drop you. Also very wrong to move into the same neighborhood with an AP if you then try to maintain a facade that she was not AP, forcing everyone to choose to either lie or tell truth with negative consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we separated, I (wife) moved into an apartment that was 4 blocks from the marital home. Logistically, it made things very easy because it took 5 minutes to get between his place and mine. Socially, it was mostly fine, though there were a few times when we ended up at the same brunch place or ran into each other at the grocery store or whatever. It was a little bit awkward, but like the PP said, we are adults and dealt with it like adults.

I don't understand why it would be weird seeing an ex at the grocery store if you have kids. Presumably you see them sometimes when you exchange the kids or you both attend certain events for your kids so why would seeing someone at the store be any different? I suppose it might be a little weird seeing them with a new person they are dating but you're divorced and people do date.

Enjoy not being divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DON'T MOVE OUT. SHE SHOULD MOVE OUT.

Also, closer the better for the kids.

We will have a separation agreement - someone needs to move out. And honestly, I'll be happy longer term not to have the hassle of a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we separated, I (wife) moved into an apartment that was 4 blocks from the marital home. Logistically, it made things very easy because it took 5 minutes to get between his place and mine. Socially, it was mostly fine, though there were a few times when we ended up at the same brunch place or ran into each other at the grocery store or whatever. It was a little bit awkward, but like the PP said, we are adults and dealt with it like adults.

What happened after the divorce was finalized? Did he keep the house? Did you move from the apartment?

Was this all spelled out in a separation agreement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few blocks away is too close if you will be living with an affair partner. People tend to socialize within the neighborhood and bringing an affair partner into the neighborhood where your wife and kids live creates all kinds if drama and dilemmas among neighborhood families about how to schedule social affairs w/ 1 or both of you. Instead of figuring it out, a lot of people will drop you. Also very wrong to move into the same neighborhood with an AP if you then try to maintain a facade that she was not AP, forcing everyone to choose to either lie or tell truth with negative consequences.

I love how OP said literally nothing about or pointing to an affair but because he’s male everyone is assuming that must be what broke up his marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few blocks away is too close if you will be living with an affair partner. People tend to socialize within the neighborhood and bringing an affair partner into the neighborhood where your wife and kids live creates all kinds if drama and dilemmas among neighborhood families about how to schedule social affairs w/ 1 or both of you. Instead of figuring it out, a lot of people will drop you. Also very wrong to move into the same neighborhood with an AP if you then try to maintain a facade that she was not AP, forcing everyone to choose to either lie or tell truth with negative consequences.

I love how OP said literally nothing about or pointing to an affair but because he’s male everyone is assuming that must be what broke up his marriage.

OP here - there is no AP or OW ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live very close to each other. Like same school bus stop close.

For now it works for us. The community is situated so we don’t have to drive by each other’s homes which is nice.

The great thing is the logistics for the kids. If I drop off for sports practice, it’s not a big deal for him to bring the kids home. And as I said, the school bus stop is the same which creates continuity for the kids. Our kids can ride their bikes between our homes so it’s not unusual to have dinner with one parent and sleep in the other home. If the kids are going between on homes we text each other that they have left and arrived—similar to how we handle it when the kids go to their other friends homes on their own.

Kudos to you for working it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few blocks away is too close if you will be living with an affair partner. People tend to socialize within the neighborhood and bringing an affair partner into the neighborhood where your wife and kids live creates all kinds if drama and dilemmas among neighborhood families about how to schedule social affairs w/ 1 or both of you. Instead of figuring it out, a lot of people will drop you. Also very wrong to move into the same neighborhood with an AP if you then try to maintain a facade that she was not AP, forcing everyone to choose to either lie or tell truth with negative consequences.

I love how OP said literally nothing about or pointing to an affair but because he’s male everyone is assuming that must be what broke up his marriage.

Cat lady logic

[Anonymous]

This is probably a stupid question but, if there are no partners on either side, why move out?

If you live a couple of blocks away and will continue to do so until kids are grown, you will see your ex everywhere you go.

Couldn't you just continue to live in a bedroom in the house then and save yourself from the hassle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a stupid question but, if there are no partners on either side, why move out?

If you live a couple of blocks away and will continue to do so until kids are grown, you will see your ex everywhere you go.

Couldn't you just continue to live in a bedroom in the house then and save yourself from the hassle?

As some point, I'm sure someone will want to date. It's not really ok to date while you're living in the same house as your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few blocks away is too close if you will be living with an affair partner. People tend to socialize within the neighborhood and bringing an affair partner into the neighborhood where your wife and kids live creates all kinds if drama and dilemmas among neighborhood families about how to schedule social affairs w/ 1 or both of you. Instead of figuring it out, a lot of people will drop you. Also very wrong to move into the same neighborhood with an AP if you then try to maintain a facade that she was not AP, forcing everyone to choose to either lie or tell truth with negative consequences.

if they are separated, it is not an affair partner. sorry, your rights do not extend that far. she is a girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a stupid question but, if there are no partners on either side, why move out?

If you live a couple of blocks away and will continue to do so until kids are grown, you will see your ex everywhere you go.

Couldn't you just continue to live in a bedroom in the house then and save yourself from the hassle?

Because then we'd still be married. And in the future, I would like to freedom to be not married and the possibility of having other partners.