S/O What should your teen be financially responsible for?

[Anonymous]

Someone int he birth control thread mentioned they pay for their teen's candy and movies.

When did you require your teen to start paying for things like that?

Did you set a limit on what you ould pay for in a month?

[Anonymous]

I pay for all food at home, on family outings, and school lunch. They pay for any food they have while out with friends, or any snacks (they can pack food from home; if they choose not to, they pay).

I pay for all necessary school supplies, personal hygiene items, and clothing (coats, socks, underwear, etc,), as well as a set amount towards other clothing throughout the year. They pay for any additional clothing they want, as well as any shampoo or whatever if they want something more expensive than I am willing to pay.

I pay for all family outings, they pay for all other entertainment.

As long as they keep their grades up, I pay for their car insurance. They pay for gas when they are using the car (our rule is that you can't return the car with less than a quarter of a tank).

They get an allowance, and the goal is to teach them to budget and spend wisely. It's also a good test for whether they really want something, or they are just asking because it's there. If they aren't willing to spend their own money on it, they don't really want it.

[Anonymous]

My son pays for wants. Candy/soda and junk - he pays.

I'm expecting him to get a job in the spring when his activities calm down, and he sits for the driving test. Gas to school and back I will pay for.

Insurance, hygiene, athletic fees, test fees, etc I will continue to pay for.

Growing up I paid for everything (other than household bills) from the time I was 14. It was tough, and while I could budget I didn't have much savings as I was leaving for college. I was able to keep a job, high grades, and pay for everything, but my siblings focused on work rather than school. For my kids work will not be a requirement during the school year if grades or activities are suffering.

[Anonymous]

I pay for everything until they are working then I pay for all needs, including vacations and school trips/fees.

Once they start working they pay for all outings that don't include me, car insurance, gifts for friends, and cell phone bill.

[Anonymous]

Extra clothes outside of my seasonal purchasing.
Gifts for cousins and friends.
Stuff like coffee out with friends.

[Anonymous]

Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

Far too controlling.

[Anonymous]

Until my kids got jobs, I gave them allowance. I expected them to use their allowance for gifts for family birthday and Christmas, whatever they wanted to buy (think Legos, jewelry, toys, make up beyond the basics that I buy, etc), and food that I don't normally buy (like gum, candy, snacks they want if I have packed snacks for our outings).

My kids started working at 16. After that, they had to pay for their own outings (I still pay for family outings) and expenses related to working (uniforms and training), gas for the car, car insurance (though I have gifted car insurance to them for birthdays and graduations). Once work became full time, they had to start paying for most everything.

I am laughing about the PP who won't let her kids get a car until age 21. That was the first thing mine saved for and bought. My oldest had one at age 17, which he paid for on his own, including what it took to make it run.

I think the real issue here is when do you intend to teach your kids money management. We've discussed it all along, but until they started working, didn't go full force with it. So until they got jobs, the consequences of not spending wisely and saving was that they night not be able to get that Lego set or must have lipstick. But, if you have kids who are ready earlier and you go with big allowances, you can start the money management process earlier.

[Anonymous]

I pay for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

indian/asian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

Far too controlling.

Agree. And all of those things sound fine to me, if the young person has a choice in the matter. As my mom said when I was a teen and young adult: "You're lucky we don't have any money to give you, because we also can't tell you what to do." For her that was a pretty enlightened stance because she was from the generation where you were expected to hand your mother your unopened pay packet and she would decide how much allowance you got back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

indian/asian?

No, actually White (3rd gen) Europeans. My children can and do have a choice in how and what they want to spend their money on. We will finance things that we value - healthy food, clothes and gear, education, travel etc. If they want to spend money on things we do not approve of - booze, cigarettes, opiates, designer clothes - they can actually earn money and pay for it themselves. My eldest wanted to go on a European tour and saved money from his internship to do so. We thought that the trip was a good idea and paid for his travel expenses - he used our FF miles to travel, we pitched in for the hotels and he paid for the food and other expenses. He never asked to go to the beach on Spring Break when he was in HS, and if he had I would not have paid for it, even if I would not have stopped him. Another DC has a hobby that requires expensive equipments and that is what she asks and gets for during Christmas.

I don't think parents have to pay for anything that they don't approve of for their children. Be it books, food, clothes, education etc. Thankfully, we have been lucky and our kids have not shown any interest in conspicuous consumption till now. It could also be a millennial thing, in that these youngsters value experiences over amassing material goods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until my kids got jobs, I gave them allowance. I expected them to use their allowance for gifts for family birthday and Christmas, whatever they wanted to buy (think Legos, jewelry, toys, make up beyond the basics that I buy, etc), and food that I don't normally buy (like gum, candy, snacks they want if I have packed snacks for our outings).

My kids started working at 16. After that, they had to pay for their own outings (I still pay for family outings) and expenses related to working (uniforms and training), gas for the car, car insurance (though I have gifted car insurance to them for birthdays and graduations). Once work became full time, they had to start paying for most everything.

I am laughing about the PP who won't let her kids get a car until age 21. That was the first thing mine saved for and bought. My oldest had one at age 17, which he paid for on his own, including what it took to make it run.

I think the real issue here is when do you intend to teach your kids money management. We've discussed it all along, but until they started working, didn't go full force with it. So until they got jobs, the consequences of not spending wisely and saving was that they night not be able to get that Lego set or must have lipstick. But, if you have kids who are ready earlier and you go with big allowances, you can start the money management process earlier.

I am the PP who will not allow my kids cars until age 21. The reason is that the we already have 3 cars in the family and it is accessible to them. A car ownership is akin to the American dream of a home ownership and a weed-free green yard. Wasteful, time consuming, expensive and environmentally terrible. If there is a need for a car (say for a summer internship or job, shopping, going for a show, going on a date), they can either take our car or catch an Uber. Our aim is that when they are out of college and start their first job, they begin life with zero college debt and no car payments.
How can young people save from their very first measly paycheck if they have to factor in payments for student loans and car payments? Besides in my opinion, getting cars at an older age (21 instead of 16) allows these young adults to have more years of driving experience, they are less likely to drive when drunk and less likely to drive distracted with their teen friends stuffed in their car etc. Plus, they have more maturity when they do become car owners. Europeans and New Yorkers do not typically have cars when they are teenagers and they seem to be ok.

I agree that the reason for this thread is to teach financial literacy and responsibility to our children. Having accounts in the name of the children before they start college can negatively impact financial aid that they get. That does not mean that they should not be an active participant in the financial decisions and activities of the family. My kids are well aware of what our take home is, how we budget for things, how to pay bills online and check the statements (bank, credit cards) for accuracy etc. They are also aware of how much money is in their designated accounts (under our name) and they do track it too.

We also need to teach our children how to cook and manage a household before they are ready to launch. There are health, social and financial consequences if they are unable to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

indian/asian?

No, actually White (3rd gen) Europeans. My children can and do have a choice in how and what they want to spend their money on. We will finance things that we value - healthy food, clothes and gear, education, travel etc. If they want to spend money on things we do not approve of - booze, cigarettes, opiates, designer clothes - they can actually earn money and pay for it themselves. My eldest wanted to go on a European tour and saved money from his internship to do so. We thought that the trip was a good idea and paid for his travel expenses - he used our FF miles to travel, we pitched in for the hotels and he paid for the food and other expenses. He never asked to go to the beach on Spring Break when he was in HS, and if he had I would not have paid for it, even if I would not have stopped him. Another DC has a hobby that requires expensive equipments and that is what she asks and gets for during Christmas.

I don't think parents have to pay for anything that they don't approve of for their children. Be it books, food, clothes, education etc. Thankfully, we have been lucky and our kids have not shown any interest in conspicuous consumption till now. It could also be a millennial thing, in that these youngsters value experiences over amassing material goods.

Controlling and obnoxious

[Anonymous]

I take care of all necessities. That includes clothing, food, drink, transportation, and school fees.

It is what a parent does.

I will also cover college fees. She will graduate without debt.