S/O What should your teen be financially responsible for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

indian/asian?

No, actually White (3rd gen) Europeans. My children can and do have a choice in how and what they want to spend their money on. We will finance things that we value - healthy food, clothes and gear, education, travel etc. If they want to spend money on things we do not approve of - booze, cigarettes, opiates, designer clothes - they can actually earn money and pay for it themselves. My eldest wanted to go on a European tour and saved money from his internship to do so. We thought that the trip was a good idea and paid for his travel expenses - he used our FF miles to travel, we pitched in for the hotels and he paid for the food and other expenses. He never asked to go to the beach on Spring Break when he was in HS, and if he had I would not have paid for it, even if I would not have stopped him. Another DC has a hobby that requires expensive equipments and that is what she asks and gets for during Christmas.

I don't think parents have to pay for anything that they don't approve of for their children. Be it books, food, clothes, education etc. Thankfully, we have been lucky and our kids have not shown any interest in conspicuous consumption till now. It could also be a millennial thing, in that these youngsters value experiences over amassing material goods.

Np: But, they don’t - You said all money they receive for gifts goes into your personal account, not theirs to spend as they wish.

[Anonymous]

They are responsible for their car insurance, gas, cell phone bill, food, etc. As soon as mine are 18, they are out of the house and working. We own rentals and we rent to them, but they are expected to manage their money and their time, to be responsible, and to make their own way in life. A car is a necessity, so they had better find jobs that pay well. I don't coddle. Life is hard. I also don't pay for college. If you want to go, you have to work for that, too. Scholarships are available. The harder you work for something, the more you appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are responsible for their car insurance, gas, cell phone bill, food, etc. As soon as mine are 18, they are out of the house and working. We own rentals and we rent to them, but they are expected to manage their money and their time, to be responsible, and to make their own way in life. A car is a necessity, so they had better find jobs that pay well. I don't coddle. Life is hard. I also don't pay for college. If you want to go, you have to work for that, too. Scholarships are available. The harder you work for something, the more you appreciate it.

I am the opposite. I don't care for anything that isn't easy. The effort kills any enjoyment out of it. I can't enjoy money I earn, but I enjoy money I win on a random lottery ticket. I didn't have to pay for college (scholarships) and I enjoyed the college years. I hope that kids will make their own way through life. In a meantime, they work odd jobs for the sake of having the job, they know how much, approximately, they can spend on our credit cards without us questioning their spending. Until they are solidly on their own, we will help with necessities like cars or phones or food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

indian/asian?

No, actually White (3rd gen) Europeans. My children can and do have a choice in how and what they want to spend their money on. We will finance things that we value - healthy food, clothes and gear, education, travel etc. If they want to spend money on things we do not approve of - booze, cigarettes, opiates, designer clothes - they can actually earn money and pay for it themselves. My eldest wanted to go on a European tour and saved money from his internship to do so. We thought that the trip was a good idea and paid for his travel expenses - he used our FF miles to travel, we pitched in for the hotels and he paid for the food and other expenses. He never asked to go to the beach on Spring Break when he was in HS, and if he had I would not have paid for it, even if I would not have stopped him. Another DC has a hobby that requires expensive equipments and that is what she asks and gets for during Christmas.

I don't think parents have to pay for anything that they don't approve of for their children. Be it books, food, clothes, education etc. Thankfully, we have been lucky and our kids have not shown any interest in conspicuous consumption till now. It could also be a millennial thing, in that these youngsters value experiences over amassing material goods.

Np: But, they don’t - You said all money they receive for gifts goes into your personal account, not theirs to spend as they wish.

Their money goes in accounts under our name and not their name. This is to make sure that they are not dinged when applying to college for financial aid. They have access to these accounts but they are not withdrawing from these accounts just yet and letting the money grow so that they can pay for new cars when they start working. Once they start earning their own money (not scholarship money but money from a paid job) they will open their own accounts and save first for their retirement and then pay for other things. Right now, all their expenses are being paid for by us. We will also pay for all their college expenses and tuition.

We have saved for 8 years worth of college and higher education for them (they have done their schooling in public schools so we have not paid for private school for k-12). They have access to our cars too, so they do not have to pay for those. As I said before, since they are good and responsible kids who are living fairly frugally even though they have full access to our credit cards and our Amazon Prime account, we continue to pay for them. This is what our grandparents did for our parents and our parents did for us. We live below our means and we have benefited from not having student loans or car payments because of parental help. We want to give the same to our kids, so that they can have a good financial start in their lives and have the means to do the same for their own children. We all know that the ability to start saving early is the way to become wealthy later in life. Having car payments, student loans etc, is not conducive for young people to be able to save.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

indian/asian?

No, actually White (3rd gen) Europeans. My children can and do have a choice in how and what they want to spend their money on. We will finance things that we value - healthy food, clothes and gear, education, travel etc. If they want to spend money on things we do not approve of - booze, cigarettes, opiates, designer clothes - they can actually earn money and pay for it themselves. My eldest wanted to go on a European tour and saved money from his internship to do so. We thought that the trip was a good idea and paid for his travel expenses - he used our FF miles to travel, we pitched in for the hotels and he paid for the food and other expenses. He never asked to go to the beach on Spring Break when he was in HS, and if he had I would not have paid for it, even if I would not have stopped him. Another DC has a hobby that requires expensive equipments and that is what she asks and gets for during Christmas.

I don't think parents have to pay for anything that they don't approve of for their children. Be it books, food, clothes, education etc. Thankfully, we have been lucky and our kids have not shown any interest in conspicuous consumption till now. It could also be a millennial thing, in that these youngsters value experiences over amassing material goods.

Np: But, they don’t - You said all money they receive for gifts goes into your personal account, not theirs to spend as they wish.

Their money goes in accounts under our name and not their name. This is to make sure that they are not dinged when applying to college for financial aid. They have access to these accounts but they are not withdrawing from these accounts just yet and letting the money grow so that they can pay for new cars when they start working. Once they start earning their own money (not scholarship money but money from a paid job) they will open their own accounts and save first for their retirement and then pay for other things. Right now, all their expenses are being paid for by us. We will also pay for all their college expenses and tuition.

We have saved for 8 years worth of college and higher education for them (they have done their schooling in public schools so we have not paid for private school for k-12). They have access to our cars too, so they do not have to pay for those. As I said before, since they are good and responsible kids who are living fairly frugally even though they have full access to our credit cards and our Amazon Prime account, we continue to pay for them. This is what our grandparents did for our parents and our parents did for us. We live below our means and we have benefited from not having student loans or car payments because of parental help. We want to give the same to our kids, so that they can have a good financial start in their lives and have the means to do the same for their own children. We all know that the ability to start saving early is the way to become wealthy later in life. Having car payments, student loans etc, is not conducive for young people to be able to save.

This whole thing is hilarious. How are you going to prevent and 18 year old from buying their own car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are responsible for their car insurance, gas, cell phone bill, food, etc. As soon as mine are 18, they are out of the house and working. We own rentals and we rent to them, but they are expected to manage their money and their time, to be responsible, and to make their own way in life. A car is a necessity, so they had better find jobs that pay well. I don't coddle. Life is hard. I also don't pay for college. If you want to go, you have to work for that, too. Scholarships are available. The harder you work for something, the more you appreciate it.

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