How to get over a crush?

[Anonymous]

It’s been a year and a half and I’m still not over him. It never went anywhere, he made it very clear he didn’t like me. But he still occupies so much space in my mind!

[Anonymous]

Try mindfulness. Trying to banish a thought doesn’t work. Instead, acknowledge it and then try to root yourself back in the present by focusing on something tangible, like your feet rooted to the ground. You also can try replacing the thought—every time you think about him, tell yourself “This crush isn’t even about him, it’s a distraction from X (some other worry)” or “it’s ridiculous to like someone who doesn’t like me.” You also can choose a music lyric you like and replace the thought of him with the lyric every time. You have to be consistent and it can take a few weeks to work.

[Anonymous]

I advise you to look at his negative characteristics when he comes to mind.

Perhaps he had a dull sense of humor, lacked common sense or was a tad arrogant.

Plus, why would you want to even like someone who doesn’t like you?

I wouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. I have a crush on my sensual dominant fling from October. He does like me, unlike OP, but i need to move on. Thanks for the tips on how do get over it. Its hard when you date someone that like that. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I advise you to look at his negative characteristics when he comes to mind.

Perhaps he had a dull sense of humor, lacked common sense or was a tad arrogant.

Plus, why would you want to even like someone who doesn’t like you?

I wouldn’t.

He wasn’t very nice to me but I still find myself sooo attracted to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s been a year and a half and I’m still not over him. It never went anywhere, he made it very clear he didn’t like me. But he still occupies so much space in my mind!

Growing up would help.

[Anonymous]

I was there for two years, I feel your pain OP. Find distractions. The best is a new crush.

Write about it, be brutally honest about what you WANT from him, get it on the page and it might be eye opening and you'll notice patterns from previous relationships, or you'll uncover what keeps you drawn to someone who is not reciprocating. PP mentioned mindfulness, and that's also very helpful and healthy. If it lingers, a therapist could help more than friends who you might not fully listen to.

Looking back, you'll thank him for not leading you on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I advise you to look at his negative characteristics when he comes to mind.

Perhaps he had a dull sense of humor, lacked common sense or was a tad arrogant.

Plus, why would you want to even like someone who doesn’t like you?

I wouldn’t.

He wasn’t very nice to me but I still find myself sooo attracted to him.

Why do you like someone who doesn't like you? Start there.

[Anonymous]

+1 The best is a new relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I advise you to look at his negative characteristics when he comes to mind.

Perhaps he had a dull sense of humor, lacked common sense or was a tad arrogant.

Plus, why would you want to even like someone who doesn’t like you?

I wouldn’t.

He wasn’t very nice to me but I still find myself sooo attracted to him.

Why do you like someone who doesn't like you? Start there.

Well, at first he was one of the few guys who genuinely showed interest in me, asked me questions, cracked jokes, etc. But It turned out he was like that with everyone...which made me all the more attracted to him. (Fast forward a bit and he did a few rude things to me but my attraction didn't wane). Super attractive, smart, funny, chill.

EVERYONE at work loved him.

[Anonymous]

He’s not what you thought, he’s the fantasy of what you thought he was. Try flipping it. Instead of focusing on the fact that he didn’t like you, see if there’s some turnoff to focus on and make it about why you wouldn’t want him. If you can get to a point where you lose respect for him, it’ll be done. Even if you have to manufacture a reason and tell that to yourself over and over until you believe it. Agree that he did you a favor by letting you know early he wasn’t interested. The truth hurts but it will set you free. Imagine him saying horrible things about you to someone. Work up a bit of disgust.

[Anonymous]

Op, get the book, He’s not that into You.

Go out, date more, have fun with friends. Find another guy who IS into you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he may be a soulmate. Think about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he may be a soulmate. Think about this.

Soulmate poster: could you please explain what is a soulmate for you?

[Anonymous]

Soulmate poster can’t explain because that requires stringing together thoughts. Soulmate poster only has one phrase. It’s his “me Tarzan, you Jane.” He’s one of those people who at parties in real life would rather be annoying than ignored. Only even on DCUM, people rarely take his bait because he’s so tiresome.