Teacher disclosed conference discussion to another parent

[Anonymous]

I had a conference with my daughter's teacher earlier this year where I asked that she be separated from another child in class. Other child wasn't doing anything wrong, but has a habit that my daughter (who has ADHD) finds especially distracting and disruptive when she's trying to focus. The focus of the conversation was truly on my daughter and what she needed to do what she's supposed to, I specifically said to the teacher that I knew the other child wasn't doing anything wrong and that the issue was with my child's response. Apparently the teacher made some reference to our conversation to the parent of the other child, who is now pissed at me and says I'm trying to blame my child's problems on her kid (which is also concerning because other kid's parent had no basis previously to know my daughter has ADHD, but from what the parent said it seems like they may have picked it up from the teacher).

Do I have any privacy expectation here around information I share in a private conference with the teacher? Yes, I discussed my daughter's interaction with another student, but with no suggestion that the other child was doing anything inappropriate or that would warrant disciplinary action. I have no idea the context in which the teacher shared this information (other parent wasn't forthcoming about that), but this feels like a huge violation of my daughter's privacy given that the issue was ultimately my child's special needs rather than the other child.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'd have an issue with that.
What grade are we talking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'd have an issue with that.
What grade are we talking?

Fourth.

[Anonymous]

Do you know whether the teacher really presented the situation like this or whether the parent just assumed a lot more than the teacher said?

Because it's understandable that a teacher might be called on to explain why X child is not sitting with Y child any longer, if asked. The teacher then has to be diplomatic about it. Perhaps she was, and the parent took it all the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do you know whether the teacher really presented the situation like this or whether the parent just assumed a lot more than the teacher said?

Because it's understandable that a teacher might be called on to explain why X child is not sitting with Y child any longer, if asked. The teacher then has to be diplomatic about it. Perhaps she was, and the parent took it all the wrong way.

Even if that's what happened, I'm still not okay with it. If asked, all the teacher had to say was that she decided to change up some seat assignments (kids have assigned seats), no need to bring my daughter into it. Although my daughter had told me she found the behavior distracting, she was not aware I spoke to her teacher about it, so it's not like she'd be saying anything about it at school to give the other kid/parent reason to think it was about that other child (my child was the one whose seat was switched, not the other child).

[Anonymous]

It' a violation of the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, FERPA. I''d contact the principal and complain that your privacy rights have been violated

[Anonymous]

Are you sure that the child didn't complain to the parent about your child being moved and the teacher then said that it wasn't good fit or you complained? There is probably more to the story or you have a bad teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure that the child didn't complain to the parent about your child being moved and the teacher then said that it wasn't good fit or you complained? There is probably more to the story or you have a bad teacher.

But this doesn't create an obligation on the part of the teacher to disclose anything about my child. It's none of the other parent's business why my child was moved. So yeah, I'm thinking bad teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure that the child didn't complain to the parent about your child being moved and the teacher then said that it wasn't good fit or you complained? There is probably more to the story or you have a bad teacher.

But this doesn't create an obligation on the part of the teacher to disclose anything about my child. It's none of the other parent's business why my child was moved. So yeah, I'm thinking bad teacher.

Correct. The teacher can't disclose any personal information about your child. Kids get moved around classrooms all the time, she doesn't need to give the other parent an explanation at all.

[Anonymous]

It may have caused an issue in upsetting the other child so the parent complained. Not your problem but the parent may have figured it out and the teacher then went with it (not saying its ok). I'd leave it alone and only complain if it happened again.

[Anonymous]

How do you know this wasn’t a result of the kids talking and the other kid telling her mom what your kid said?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know this wasn’t a result of the kids talking and the other kid telling her mom what your kid said?

The parent specifically told me she heard about it from the teacher. Also, as I said previously, my child didn't know I spoke to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

I need some clarification. OP in your initial post you and the teacher discussed the other child and her habit. Why is it okay if you talk about another child but not the other parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do you know whether the teacher really presented the situation like this or whether the parent just assumed a lot more than the teacher said?

Because it's understandable that a teacher might be called on to explain why X child is not sitting with Y child any longer, if asked. The teacher then has to be diplomatic about it. Perhaps she was, and the parent took it all the wrong way.

I bet this is what happened.

Either

A) Teacher had to address annoying behavior with the parent because of other complaints. Teacher makes some general comment about how behavior makes it difficult for others to concentrate and that she has had to move kids around and mom put two and two together.

Or

B) Kid was upset that Larla moved to another seat. Larla is so kind to the kid so Mom always asks that they be in the same class or sit together. Mom wonders why Larla was moved and teacher tries to dance around the subject. Mom puts two and two together and gets mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need some clarification. OP in your initial post you and the teacher discussed the other child and her habit. Why is it okay if you talk about another child but not the other parent?

Thank you for this question, it really helped crystallize the problem for me, which I was having trouble articulating before. The problem is the direction of the flow of information. I provided information to the teacher that I had received from my daughter in order to help the teacher find a solution to a classroom management issue. I did not ask for, nor did I receive, information about someone else's child. This parent was given information about my child, and it was done with no apparent need for the information to justify the violation of my child's privacy.