When to come out?

[Anonymous]

I'm a bi female married to a man. Most of my life I've been a tomboy with guy friends. Now that I'm married and a mom, I'm developing new friendships with women. At what pint should I tell new friends I'm bi? For instance, if there's a girls trip and someone wants to share rooms or a bed? Should I mention I'm bi?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't blurt out that you're bi....that can be a bit awkward. I'm a slightly femme lesbian and I normally tell people on a need to know basis. Using your hotel room example, I'd say that you don't feel comfortable sharing a room due to the fact that you are bi. Be sure reiterate that you aren't attracted to your friends. That can be awkward

[Anonymous]

You can't share a room because your bi? Is this like the Mike Pence Rule?

[Anonymous]

I’m a married lesbian and have shared rooms with straight female friends. I am not a cheater and am not attracted to my friends so it hasn’t mattered. I certainly wouldn’t think twice if you were married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a married lesbian and have shared rooms with straight female friends. I am not a cheater and am not attracted to my friends so it hasn’t mattered. I certainly wouldn’t think twice if you were married.

Another married lesbian here. Agree 100%.

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a married lesbian and have shared rooms with straight female friends. I am not a cheater and am not attracted to my friends so it hasn’t mattered. I certainly wouldn’t think twice if you were married.

Another married lesbian here. Agree 100%.

+2

Divorcing (from a man) bi woman. Agree with PPs assessment to inform on a need to know basis. All of my close friends know and I tend to disclose to new friends as we get closer, but I don't just say "hey I'm bi!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a bi female married to a man. Most of my life I've been a tomboy with guy friends. Now that I'm married and a mom, I'm developing new friendships with women. At what pint should I tell new friends I'm bi? For instance, if there's a girls trip and someone wants to share rooms or a bed? Should I mention I'm bi?

I imagine that after two or certainly three pints it's bound to come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never.

This. They don't need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a married lesbian and have shared rooms with straight female friends. I am not a cheater and am not attracted to my friends so it hasn’t mattered. I certainly wouldn’t think twice if you were married.

Another married lesbian here. Agree 100%.

+2

Divorcing (from a man) bi woman. Agree with PPs assessment to inform on a need to know basis. All of my close friends know and I tend to disclose to new friends as we get closer, but I don't just say "hey I'm bi!"

Nude what circumstances does it come out later in your friendships?

[Anonymous]

*under what circumstances

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a married lesbian and have shared rooms with straight female friends. I am not a cheater and am not attracted to my friends so it hasn’t mattered. I certainly wouldn’t think twice if you were married.

Another married lesbian here. Agree 100%.

+2

Divorcing (from a man) bi woman. Agree with PPs assessment to inform on a need to know basis. All of my close friends know and I tend to disclose to new friends as we get closer, but I don't just say "hey I'm bi!"

Nude what circumstances does it come out later in your friendships?

Close friends tend to discuss things like past relationships/exes, things they may have struggled (i.e. sexuality, experiencing bigotry due to one's sexuality), etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a married lesbian and have shared rooms with straight female friends. I am not a cheater and am not attracted to my friends so it hasn’t mattered. I certainly wouldn’t think twice if you were married.

It seems pretty arrogant for you to assume that your straight female friends have the slightest interest in you. You come off as though the whole situation is about you keeping them at bay since you're not a cheater and aren't attracted to them, but if not, they'd be begging to trib with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a married lesbian and have shared rooms with straight female friends. I am not a cheater and am not attracted to my friends so it hasn’t mattered. I certainly wouldn’t think twice if you were married.

It seems pretty arrogant for you to assume that your straight female friends have the slightest interest in you. You come off as though the whole situation is about you keeping them at bay since you're not a cheater and aren't attracted to them, but if not, they'd be begging to trib with you.

You're a moron. PP obviously does not think her straight friends would reciprocate an advance; she was saying that there is no reason for her not to share a bed with her friends as she is married, is not attracted to her friends and therefore would never attempt to take advantage of the bed-sharing situation to make a pass at her friends. For the same reason, she would never think twice about sharing a room/bed with a married person who is attracted to women because she trusts that they are married and not specifically attracted to her so it's a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

You are married to a man and a mother. Why would your friends need to know you’re bi? That implies you intend to cheat and play around.

Whatever it is, your sex life is your private business. Not your friends’ business. If you were single it’s one thing to say you’re bisexual, but you’re married and society expects people who are married to be committed and it’s never comfortable or pleasant to openly imply you’re not faithful or sleeping around and that’s what you’re doing when you tell people you’re bisexual while in a marriage.

Really, what exactly are you hoping to gain by telling people you’re bisexual while presumably happily married and with a child?