Crying my eyes out
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Anonymous
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My 29 year old husband came home from a night of drinking saying many unreasonable things.
He was upset that Roy Moore lost and said there will be a civil war and he will have to go fight the democrats. He said that the war will divide us since he will have no choice but defend his country against the liberals. He then said he has been feeling unlike himself all year and that he wants to join the military as an officer. He says it is his calling and that everyone has tried to keep him from enlisting ever since the thought occurred to him 15 years ago. He was drunk and seemed so earnest that I tried to listen and go through the logic in my brain. I thought we were on the path to house, baby, normal life. I want a normal comfortable life with an emphasis on financial security. He wants to take a pay cut and start from scratch. I asked him what his end goal was and he said he doesn’t want to do it forever but get out at 35 and I quote, “ become an investment banker.” He then said he needs my blessing. I at first said he can do whatever he wants but it’s not really a plan for a stable family life. He’s going to get out at 35 and be an unemployed vet. I then said he needs to grow up and stop fantasizing about being a hero. He raises his voice and says other wives would be proud of him for wanting to help people and how he is so alone because I am unsupportive. He said he feels like he’s not getting anything out of his marriage because I never encourage him and I take his balls away. I said I thought I’d be helping my husband evaluate which house to buy, when to have children or which job offer to take. Not listen to 2 am drunken ramblings about wanting to be a hero. He got mad and is sleeping on the couch. I’m alone in my room crying my eyes out. I feel so alone. Who is this man? |
Anonymous
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Don't try to have a big life discussion with a drunken spouse.
"Let's discuss this after a good night's sleep." It sounds like you two have very different values. Do you have a job / career? Honestly I am not sure I would want to stay married to someone whose new life goal (until the 35-year-old. A king thing) is to protect the country from the liberals. Yikes. |
Anonymous
| He needs a physical exam and perhaps anti depressants. |
Anonymous
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This is one of the scariest posts I have read on this site |
Anonymous
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Is this out of the blue? Does it seem like a sudden change in personality? Because you ask, “who is this man” as if he’s totally changed since you married him. Is that the case? Did you know he was an ultra-conservativ, etc.? It’s hard to imagine that this really is a surprise to you.
But if it is a sudden change, then yes he should get a physical to make sure everything is okay. It’s one thing to feel called to join the military, but it’s another to spout paranoid nonsense about a civil war with the liberals - that points to mental instability. That would concern me a lot more than anything else here. |
Anonymous
| Do you work? You can help fulfill your dreams by working, if you don't. He's drunk, he sounds delusional. Don't have important conversations with soneone who is drunk. Also, military life sucks and is very unstable for family life/kids. But, don't assume every vet gets out and is unemployed. Try to grow up, I dont think this is something to be crying your eyes out over. |
Anonymous
Ugh, half of my family would be in the loony bin. OP, see if he remembers any of this today. And then see how he is over the next few weeks and go from there. But for folks who can't imagine you didn't know all of this before, let me tell you about my family. Several formally middle of the road Republicans (think Eisenhower Republicans) have really gone downright nutty lately. Conspiracy theories, fake news, false flags. A steady diet of Fox News is really turning them into people I don't know. |
Anonymous
Very creative writing, OP ... and so early 
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Anonymous
because its a troll post trying to stir the pot... |
Anonymous
| Op, my mother in law is married to someone (40 years now) who has views like those you expressed. She has told her children (some of whom were hit by their father, they tell me) that she would leave him if he didn’t get half of everything - he’s been unemployed since his contract ended 15 years ago. My DH and I maintain a relationship with his parents, but two of his three siblings have cut ties. My mother in law cries with me about her marriage whenever we see her (1-2 times a year) and I think she’s verbally abused, but I don’t know how to help her. I know this is tough love, but if you don’t respect his values or share them give some long and hard thought to whether to have kids with this man. Does he even want kids? Time for some sober conversations and possibly counseling to help you see (more) clearly your path forward. |
Anonymous
| Pp here - possible abuse aside, the real problem with my in laws is they both detest the other’s view point. I’m not trying to start a political post but just point out the challenges of raising kids when philosophies differ. My sibling-in-laws don’t respect either of their parents much at this point. |
Anonymous
Thank goodness, one of my Peeps has joined in this morning. But give OP credit for his/her creativity and imagination! |
Anonymous
He needs to have a body first because HE ISN'T REAL
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Anonymous
| ...and then the BABY bear said... |
Anonymous
And a lobotomy. |