Grandma and Guns

[Anonymous]

Following the death of my stepfather my mother purchased a gun. She lives in a very safe neighborhood full of affluent families. She also has a dog and installed an alarm system a few months before she got the gun. Additionally, she did not grow up around guns. For those reasons, my siblings and I opposed her getting a gun in the first place. She disagreed and as is her right she got one. Since having one she does not practice gun safety. My sister, who lives out of state, has on at least two separate occasions gone to take a nap and discovered that the gun is loaded and in the bed. The last time this happened was over thanksgiving. I also noticed that it was under her bed once. Also loaded.

I am expecting her first grandchild, which she is very excited about. When my sister discovered the gun I told my mom that I would not have any of my future children at her house until she gets rid of the gun. She ignored me. I jus think it would be one thing if she were a responsible gun owner but over the years that she's had the gun she has consistently demonstrated that she can't be trusted to put the gun in the gun safe. I feel for her in that I'm sure part of the reason why she wants to have the gun is that she feels safer. However, I don't think that it actually keeps her safe. The gun is a revolver and my mom has done very minimal hours at a gun range. The odds of her actually hitting anyone with a handgun in an emergency seem very slim to me.

If I can't take my kids to her house then so be it. But I am concerned she will just say that she got rid of it and not actually do so. Just like she said she would keep it in the gun safe and didn't do that either.

Advice?

[Anonymous]

Stick to your guns (sorry - couldn't resist).

Grandchild doesn't go to grandma's house, and grandma doesn't bring gun to yours (I'm hoping she doesn't carry it in her purse).

Find the stats on how many children are accidentally shot or who accidentally shoot an adult.

[Anonymous]

If you can't trust her to be honest about whether or not she has the gum, then kids never go to her house. End of story. Loaded and in the bed? Jesus, I don't consider myself to be overprotective, but my kids would never set foot in that house.

[Anonymous]

I’m relatively pro-gun and would never allow either of my kids to set foot in that house.

No how, no way. We stopped going to my Aunt’s house for Thanksgiving because she had a supposedly unloaded gun just out on the counter. To me, it showed no respect for the firearm.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't bring my kids to her house. And if you can't trust her, I'm not sure what to recommend. I guess she'll have to visit with her grandchild at your house. She sounds irresponsible and irrational, which is not a good combination for a gun owner.

[Anonymous]

Do you live close to her? I wouldn't have my kids in her house.

[Anonymous]

No way would my kids be at someone's house if I knew they kept an unsecured, loaded firearm, especially in a place where little kids could so easily find it.

And if she came to my house, I would check her purse. For real. Frankly, if you can't trust her to tell you the truth about the gun, you can't trust her with your child. Period.

[Anonymous]

Buy her a gun safe and make sure the gun is unloaded and in it when you visit. I'm not saying you shouldn't refuse to visit, but it seems to me that she doesn't want to get rid of the gun, so rather than making her do so, just make sure it is safe. We keep our unloaded gun locked in a safe (we don't have it for safety purposes so there's never an intention that it would be used in the house) and the ammo in another safe. The safes require our fingerprints to open. They are safe ways to store guns in a house. If she refuses to abide by that (or let you check to make sure she's abiding by that rule), then yes, tell her you won't come over anymore. Same thing I'd do if someone smoked in their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can't trust her to be honest about whether or not she has the gum, then kids never go to her house. End of story. Loaded and in the bed? Jesus, I don't consider myself to be overprotective, but my kids would never set foot in that house.

This. It's so beyond stupid. "She" may be able to handle a loaded gun, but you never know when and how an inquisitive kid might find it and explore it.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy her a gun safe and make sure the gun is unloaded and in it when you visit. I'm not saying you shouldn't refuse to visit, but it seems to me that she doesn't want to get rid of the gun, so rather than making her do so, just make sure it is safe. We keep our unloaded gun locked in a safe (we don't have it for safety purposes so there's never an intention that it would be used in the house) and the ammo in another safe. The safes require our fingerprints to open. They are safe ways to store guns in a house. If she refuses to abide by that (or let you check to make sure she's abiding by that rule), then yes, tell her you won't come over anymore. Same thing I'd do if someone smoked in their house.

OP here. She actually already has a gun safe. She just doesn't use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you live close to her? I wouldn't have my kids in her house.

OP. She's about 45 minutes away.

[Anonymous]

She has one gun not guns.

It's your right not to have the kid over her house.


But it's very unlikely your newborn will shoot herself.

I'd be more concerne about my mother's mental health as she doesn't seem to be coping well with her husband's death at all.

[Anonymous]

I’d swap it out for a realistic fake.

[Anonymous]

A psychiatric evaluation is in order, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A psychiatric evaluation is in order, OP.

+ a million. Your mother is clearly not doing well and your future children are the least of your issues at this point.