Is it weird that I don’t want to change my last name?

[Anonymous]

I recently got married and have discovered that I like my name as is and do not want to change my last name. I just feel like I want to preserve my identity and not disappear into being a “wife.” I’m also low key struggling with how loaded the term “wife” is. It reminds me of sacrifice and loss of independence and identity...is that weird?

[Anonymous]

Nope, but its something I would have thought about sooner.

[Anonymous]

Keep your name. I changed mine and after 22 years of marriage it still sounds strange to me.

[Anonymous]

A wife is what you make it. To me it says supportive best friend, not submissive maid you get to sleep with.

The name thing isn’t weird. Most of my friends didn’t change their names.

[Anonymous]

It’s really old fashioned to change your name. Not surprising you don’t want to.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A wife is what you make it. To me it says supportive best friend, not submissive maid you get to sleep with.

The name thing isn’t weird. Most of my friends didn’t change their names.

Op here. This is how I view my relationship. Best friends, lovers and partners. “Wife” just sounds... submissive and backwards. I don’t want to end up like my mother.

[Anonymous]

What's weird is that anyone would want to change their name.

Unless they really hated it, which occasionally happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s really old fashioned to change your name. Not surprising you don’t want to.

82% change their name legally, many keep their maiden name professionally. Please don't hyphen your name - the ultimate dumb compromise.

[Anonymous]

Keep it. It'll be one less thing for you to undo when he divorces you in a few years, once he realizes it was a mistake to marry the kind of woman who balked at taking his last name

[Anonymous]

Keep it. If it's an issue, see if he'll change his to yours. I'm a woman married to a man and I use the term 'partner' occasionally when gendered stuff feels loaded. You do you. And him... Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman and proud to take my husband’s last name. I tend to think it shows a hesitancy to fully commit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and proud to take my husband’s last name. I tend to think it shows a hesitancy to fully commit.

So I guess your husband was hesitant to commit to you?

[Anonymous]

It's weird that this is a question in 2017.

[Anonymous]

I didn't change mine for practical reasons; all my degrees have my original name on them, I don't want to bother with SS#, passport, and other documents, etc.