I ran into a neighbor with someone who wasn't his wife

[Anonymous]

We were at a restaurant and I saw them but they didn't see me since we were sat in different rooms of the restaurant. They were talking closely and kissed a few times. Definitely not friendly/platonic kissing. I went to the bathroom before we left and ran into him as he came out of the men's room. He was friendly and told me he was there for a work function. WTF. I'm friendly with his wife but not good friends. Our kids play together in the neighborhood.

DH and I know it's none of our business but why would someone choose to be seen in public with their affair partner or whoever she is? Does he really just not give a shit? This was a restaurant 15 minutes from our neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Wow. He certainly made the best of it.

I'm not sure how you can tell the wife. Personally, were I her, I would want to know ASAP, but it would certainly make for a awkward conversation.

[Anonymous]

Hubris.

[Anonymous]

I notice that women agonize over informing the DW but men couldn't give a shit. Kinda like a 'bros before hos' thing, and I wonder if it makes more sense to take their approach instead of worrying about someone else's marriage. You're not his keeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I notice that women agonize over informing the DW but men couldn't give a shit. Kinda like a 'bros before hos' thing, and I wonder if it makes more sense to take their approach instead of worrying about someone else's marriage. You're not his keeper.

Just for that - send the wife an anonymous note.

Sleazebag PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were at a restaurant and I saw them but they didn't see me since we were sat in different rooms of the restaurant. They were talking closely and kissed a few times. Definitely not friendly/platonic kissing. I went to the bathroom before we left and ran into him as he came out of the men's room. He was friendly and told me he was there for a work function. WTF. I'm friendly with his wife but not good friends. Our kids play together in the neighborhood.

DH and I know it's none of our business but why would someone choose to be seen in public with their affair partner or whoever she is? Does he really just not give a shit? This was a restaurant 15 minutes from our neighborhood.

his DW is low libido and he has reached the end of his rope.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they have an open marriage. Just MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were at a restaurant and I saw them but they didn't see me since we were sat in different rooms of the restaurant. They were talking closely and kissed a few times. Definitely not friendly/platonic kissing. I went to the bathroom before we left and ran into him as he came out of the men's room. He was friendly and told me he was there for a work function. WTF. I'm friendly with his wife but not good friends. Our kids play together in the neighborhood.

DH and I know it's none of our business but why would someone choose to be seen in public with their affair partner or whoever she is? Does he really just not give a shit? This was a restaurant 15 minutes from our neighborhood.

his DW is low libido and he has reached the end of his rope.

And you think it's OK to flaunt like this?

It's more likely he's bipolar or something.

[Anonymous]

No good can come from this. You don't know their arrangement or situation. The only time you tell is if it's your sister, close relative, or one of your best friends. Otherwise, stay out of it.

My guess it was, in fact, a colleague so the "work function" excuse wasn't a lie. He just wasn't telling you the whole truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No good can come from this. You don't know their arrangement or situation. The only time you tell is if it's your sister, close relative, or one of your best friends. Otherwise, stay out of it.

My guess it was, in fact, a colleague so the "work function" excuse wasn't a lie. He just wasn't telling you the whole truth.

My dear, we weren't worried about whether that was a lie or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they have an open marriage. Just MYOB.

Then the note won't hurt her. She can tell him to rein himself in a little bit, to keep things elegant.

And if she doesn't know, you'll be doing her a huge favor.

[Anonymous]

If I were the wife of this man I would want to know.

[Anonymous]

I think the op is just shocked that someone would be so flagrant with cheating and not to make more of an effort not to be seen by people he knows. Plus, it makes neighborhood get togethers AWKWARD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I notice that women agonize over informing the DW but men couldn't give a shit. Kinda like a 'bros before hos' thing, and I wonder if it makes more sense to take their approach instead of worrying about someone else's marriage. You're not his keeper.

OP here. My husband does care as well. We know it's ultimately none of our business. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors in others' homes although I don't get the sense that his wife would be ok with this. I just was curious what the thought process is behind going to a restaurant 15 minutes from your house with your mistress, showing PDA and not worrying about getting caught by someone who knows you. Is he just past the point of giving a shit?

[Anonymous]

I would have said something like "Ray! So good to see you, How is Mary doing?" and watched, and waited. He would have said she was fine, and not known if I would have told Mary or not. He could squirm indefinitely until I saw Mary, or told her himself. I would hope he would tell her.