Heartbroken

[Anonymous]

After 9 months of dating someone with great chemistry and physical compatibility, we appear to be through. He is ghosting, big time. This hurts so much. We are both middle-aged, intelligent, generally fit people with a lot in common. Just...hell, I have no idea what happened.

Anyone care to offer words of support and encouragement? I could really use some right now.

[Anonymous]

I am very sorry you are dealing with this. In my 40s I was in a three year relationship with someone who I felt the same about, great chemistry, good companion, good sex, I was in love and thought he was too.

Looking back I wish he had just ghosted me! But no...he cheated on me and dumped me for her. It took me several years to even begin to get over him. Sad but true.

Hang in there. Maybe it hurts more in middle age, I think so.

[Anonymous]

[OP] Thank you, PP. I am so sad. Wish I hadn't gone down this path. I will miss him immensely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[OP] Thank you, PP. I am so sad. Wish I hadn't gone down this path. I will miss him immensely.

I think the first hardest thing to deal with, right at the beginning, was not being able to talk to him everyday (multiple times a day) as I was used to for years. It was like a part of me was amputated. That really took awhile to get used to.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps flip the switch? Instead of being sad, why not be angry? You shouldn't miss a guy who ghosted you. The reality is that he wasn't a good guy, he obviously didn't care about you, and he was likely dating others. He ghosted you because he wanted to be with someone else. He sucks. You don't need him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he got in a car accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he got in a car accident.

Happened to someone I know. Guy had been dating a girl for a month, going well, then ghosted. He found out that she died in an accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps flip the switch? Instead of being sad, why not be angry? You shouldn't miss a guy who ghosted you. The reality is that he wasn't a good guy, he obviously didn't care about you, and he was likely dating others. He ghosted you because he wanted to be with someone else. He sucks. You don't need him.

+1. If he was such a great guy at least he would have talked to you about it. Plus with on line dating very easy to move on with someone new.

[Anonymous]

My ex boyfriend did that, too. Turned out he was still on the online dating sites, the entire time we were dating, looking for the next best thing. His new girlfriend is absolutely adorable but so young that he looks like her dad in pictures. I take solace in the fact that he wasn’t great in bed and didn’t like to go down... (which should have been my dealbreaker from the beginning). He was also a narcissist and very selfish.

Makes it easier to deal with when you focus on their flaws!

[Anonymous]

He is an jerk. He at least.should be a man and give you an explanation. What a cowardly thing to do.

[Anonymous]

You dodged a bullet, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm a guy who is middle aged and it's happened to me as well. They tell you they just want to be friends, in reality they are done with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is an jerk. He at least.should be a man and give you an explanation. What a cowardly thing to do.

Yeah, super immature and cowardly. You deserve better, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so sorry . I am telling you though, he did you a giant favor. I know you can't see that now but you will one day. You don't miss him, you miss what you thought he was. If you want to get through this and build strength, ask yourself what you weren't willing to see or what you were willing to forgive. There is your answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex boyfriend did that, too. Turned out he was still on the online dating sites, the entire time we were dating, looking for the next best thing. His new girlfriend is absolutely adorable but so young that he looks like her dad in pictures. I take solace in the fact that he wasn’t great in bed and didn’t like to go down... (which should have been my dealbreaker from the beginning). He was also a narcissist and very selfish.

Makes it easier to deal with when you focus on their flaws!

He's going down now on his sweet young thing.