30 weeks pregnant and questioning husbands fidelity

[Anonymous]

I am 30 weeks pregnant and my husband accidentally left his email open. Well of course, since it was opened I had to look, right? Anyway, when you start looking you always find something. I saw that he has a member to hook up websites like Adult Friend Finder. My mouth dropped because never would I expect that he would do this. What should I think? What should I do? Should I confront him? I'm so confused right now, because it's so unlike him that I'm thrown off! I would just kill him if I find him stepping out when I am having his child. I cannot wait until I get past this pregnancy and then he will really see two can play that game!

[Anonymous]

OP, I can understand anger with your husband. Do you think you could somehow discuss it with him? You need more information here. Does he already know that you saw the email? Any additional clues?

[Anonymous]

OP here- Well that's all the info I have right now. The only thing that stands out is that we don't have sex anymore. We never really had sex alot, like when I got pregnant in February we had only had sex twice that month, and we're newlyweds. He turns me down a lot for sex, which is annoying, so I've stopped the advances all together. I haven't confronted him or said anything yet, but if anyone has the right to cheat it would be Me! So it's almost as if "YOU'VE GOT SOME DAMN NERVE!"

[Anonymous]

20:05 here. OP, your precious little baby really does two parents to love and support him/her along the path of life. One parent is never enough. Can you share your concerns with your husband this evening? Giving your baby the gift of two parents is worth more than I can ever say. I would also be so incredibly upset if I were in your shoes right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:05 here. OP, your precious little baby really does two parents to love and support him/her along the path of life. One parent is never enough. Can you share your concerns with your husband this evening? Giving your baby the gift of two parents is worth more than I can ever say. I would also be so incredibly upset if I were in your shoes right now.

....does NEED two parents.... (sorry)

Blessings to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm completely sympathetic if he actually is cheating. But "two can play that game"? So you're planning to cheat later if he's cheating now? Or what?

[Anonymous]

DH here...You should definitely confront him about it. You'll know right away if he's lying or not. You never know, it could just be for voyeuristic masturbation and nothing more...or it could be something else. My wife freaked out on me once because she a site I was...uhh visiting...delivered a pop up to one of those adult "facebook" sites. I'm not nor have I ever been a member, but explaining why it popped up was interesting to say the least.

Anyway, long story short, call out your husband on it. You'll know soon enough what his intentions are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:05 here. OP, your precious little baby really does two parents to love and support him/her along the path of life. One parent is never enough. Can you share your concerns with your husband this evening? Giving your baby the gift of two parents is worth more than I can ever say. I would also be so incredibly upset if I were in your shoes right now.

Are freaking kidding me, lady? You're saying that giving a baby two parents is worth more than you can ever say...even if one of the parents is surfing the internet to have sex with random strangers? That's insane. What kind of example is that? What kind of family values are those? I think the baby would rather have one happy mother than two miserable parents (especially if one of those parents has the "clap").

[Anonymous]

OP: I'm wondering... is it possible he's just a member of the site to look at porn or something (and not necessarily to meet someone)? Not that it makes it any better but...

[Anonymous]

Adult Friend Finder is a sex based website. It's really disgusting. I would be confronting my husband ASAP.

[Anonymous]

OP, big hug. You do not need this worry on top of being pregnant.

Like PPs have said: ask your husband calmly
"DH, you left your email open and I saw XYZ. Would you mind explaining?"
Watch him like a hawk when you ask the question, because the answer might be non-verbal (blush, no eye contact, etc).

The priority right now is your welfare and that of the baby:
1. If he admits infidelity, then surround yourself with a very strong support system for the birth and after, because you will probably be ambivalent about his help. Focus on baby and not on him.
2. If he comes out with a story you find more or less suspect, I advise you to google ways to hack into his computer - sorry for the lack of ethics - to find proof or lack thereof. I "became root" (term for having super-administrative powers on the computer: you need the original start-up CD though) and hacked DH's account because I suspected something, and found a ton of hard-core porn. It wasn't that big of a deal in the long run.
3. If there is a sincere and relatively innocuous explanation, great relief! Then you will just need to address the "turns me down for sex" problem

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:05 here. OP, your precious little baby really does two parents to love and support him/her along the path of life. One parent is never enough. Can you share your concerns with your husband this evening? Giving your baby the gift of two parents is worth more than I can ever say. I would also be so incredibly upset if I were in your shoes right now.

Are freaking kidding me, lady? You're saying that giving a baby two parents is worth more than you can ever say...even if one of the parents is surfing the internet to have sex with random strangers? That's insane. What kind of example is that? What kind of family values are those? I think the baby would rather have one happy mother than two miserable parents (especially if one of those parents has the "clap").

She is the blessings poster, one of the most annoying people that frequent this board. Search "blessings" and you will find the pious hypocritical bitch everywhere.

[Anonymous]

snoop some more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2. If he comes out with a story you find more or less suspect, I advise you to google ways to hack into his computer - sorry for the lack of ethics - to find proof or lack thereof. I "became root" (term for having super-administrative powers on the computer: you need the original start-up CD though) and hacked DH's account because I suspected something, and found a ton of hard-core porn. It wasn't that big of a deal in the long run.

Don't bother with this. If it has come to the point in your relationship where you are breaking into his computer to spy on him, just file for divorce. If you are at the point where you have so little trust in your partner and such a lack of respect for his privacy that you would do something like this, staying in the relationship is just going to hurt you and hurt your children.

[Anonymous]

Talk to him about what you found and insist on seeing a counselor, now. During such an emotional time in both of your lives, a third party mediator would be beneficial. Neither you nor your husband are probably thinking straight right now.