Bus bullying

[Anonymous]

My son just started K and rides the bus for a while (since he's in a language immersion program). The first week he told me about a boy that was calling him names but I chalked it up as kids just being kids. My son was super excited to start school and ride the bus. He's a pretty friendly and mature kid so I imagine he introduced himself to these kids.

Anyway a month into school I get a call from the AP. The boy he mentioned the first week told her my son stuck up his middle finger. After she spoke with the bus driver she realized it was not my son starting problems but this 5th grade boy. I know his parents have been spoken to about this situation and I believe it's happened before in other years. And the bus driver also spoke to me after the incident.

Anyway, I decided not to keep asking my so. about his bus experience because every time I asked he would say "I don't want to talk about it" and my husband didn't want to make it a biggger issue. Well this week I heard more from my son about the kid telling him to shut up and I hate you. So I decided to drop my son off at this boys bus stop just to see who this kid was. I used it as an opportunity to talk with him politely and made it like my son was a little kid and I was sorry if he was bothering him. I told him to have a great day and they left.

I followed with an email to the school. And my son came home saying that morning the boy bullied him. My cheery 5 year old has not had behavior issues and is a pretty mature kid.... but he doesn't even want to go to school anymore because of his bus ride. I haven't heard from the AP yet but I'm tempted to take my son to school today and speak to them in person.

Anyone dealt with bus bullies? How did it get resolved?

[Anonymous]

He's 5, he is not mature and doesn't understand to stop trying to engage with theses kids,
He is likely bothering the older kids and this one kid is impulsive and can't deal well with an little kid.
The 5th grader is in the wrong for sure but it can't hurt to tell your K kid to sit in the front of the bus behind the driver and to not speak to the older kids. It would help diffuse the situation.

[Anonymous]

Advise your child to sit in the front near the driver. Advise the driver that your son should not be sitting near the other kid. My guess is the 5th grader sticks to the back..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's 5, he is not mature and doesn't understand to stop trying to engage with theses kids,
He is likely bothering the older kids and this one kid is impulsive and can't deal well with an little kid.
The 5th grader is in the wrong for sure but it can't hurt to tell your K kid to sit in the front of the bus behind the driver and to not speak to the older kids. It would help diffuse the situation.

I agree that this would help.

After you e-mailed the school, what happened?

[Anonymous]

I think that's been the plan with the seating but the kid started name calling when he got on the bus. And yes, I'm sure my 5 year old is contributing by saying leave me alone. But it's clear this kid has singled my son out.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you think that the response from the school has not been adequate, then you should fill out and submit this Bullying, Harassment, or Intimidation Reporting Form: http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/forms/pdf/230-35.pdf

[Anonymous]

Can you drop him off for a while? We did that for our DD for a while and then the kid seemed to forget about her after a while.

The bus driver is pretty busy driving and there are no sides in the bus. Lots of kids and a long bus ride are somewhat conducive to bad behavior. Our principal just did a robocall about bus incidents at our ES.

I know some will disagree but I say take the kid off the bus for a little while if you can. You can always go back to it. There is only so much the school can do. And the driver is focused on driving!

[Anonymous]

No aides on the bus. Not no sides!

[Anonymous]

Yes I totally agree! The bus driver needs to focus on driving and the school has been good about the issue. I know dealing with these situations is a part of life but it's tough to swallow when your carefree 5 year old is being told "I hate you" from someone who is old enough to understand it's inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

My son also said this boy told the bus driver to shut up yesterday and I suspect why I haven't yet heard from the school

[Anonymous]

If I were in your shoes, I would drive my child to school until I get an appropriate solution from the school. It might be also a good idea to teach your son how to deal with situations like this?

[Anonymous]

Is this at Wayside? I hear a lot of this happening on our buses. DD is miserable.

[Anonymous]

No 5th-grade child should be bullying a kindergartner.

Here is what to do to get this taken care of quickly:

If you file the bullying form, the school system becomes LEGALLY OBLIGATED to take action. Follow up with a letter to the school principal, your child's school counselor, and your child's teacher. You need to mention that bullying is taking place and that there is a time limit for their response to the matter. This will start a clock that legally obligates all parties to action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were in your shoes, I would drive my child to school until I get an appropriate solution from the school. It might be also a good idea to teach your son how to deal with situations like this?

Do you have any suggestions for the OP I’m how to help her kid handle this? Not the OP but our ES has had lots of bus issues so would be glad to hear suggestions.

It’s definitely tough. We’ve had issues where kids are not keeping their hands to themselves and only so many kids can sit at the front of the bus.

I’m the PP that suggested driving. Honestly, I wouldn’t make my older teenage DD continue to ride a Metro Bus if there was someone on the bus harassing her. Seems unfair to make my younger kid ride the bus under these circumstances! It’s tough for the one bus driver to focus on driving and also police 30 kids. Stuff is just going to happen.

Also FWIW, we have theee different bus drivers that drive our route. It would be tough to fill all of them in on every incident.

OP, is it always the same driver in your case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I totally agree! The bus driver needs to focus on driving and the school has been good about the issue. I know dealing with these situations is a part of life but it's tough to swallow when your carefree 5 year old is being told "I hate you" from someone who is old enough to understand it's inappropriate.

I think dealing with these situations is a part of life as you get older, but 5 is too young to expect a kid to stand up for himself versus a 5th grader. YMMV