Venting. Cousin in law is starting to annoy me...
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Anonymous
| My husband and his cousins are really close. Due to how small the family is, they grew up almost treating each other like siblings. We have monthly dinners, so we see them a lot. Something has started to annoy me though. My husband’s cousin and I get along well on the surface but I feel like lately it has been a competition on who has what/attained the most. Basically her husband and her got engaged the same year we did, although 7!months later. She has her doctorate in education. At first when I was being introduced to the family, everyone let me know this about her, even before I met her face to face!! I don’t get why the fuss. It’s not like it’s uncommon. I quietly worked on getting accepted into a social science PhD program, and I was beyond thrilled to get accepted. My husband told his mother and well everyone has soon found out. His cousin didn’t seem too happy when we had dinner last month as it was brought up. When I first met my husband everyone and their mother knew she was working on her PhD! It is an accomplishment but not out of the ordinary.l-maybe because I feel like most of my friends are accomplished in their own right and my hubby (Dr) I didn’t see the hype, of course I quietly worked on getting into mine. My MIL mentioned something to me that Betsy said, not verbatim but she said is surprised I didn’t decide to stay at home and pop kids out, since my husband is already successful/was financially established when we met. I flat out said to my MIl, “Heaven forbid others besides Betsy have educational endeavors too!” My MIL said she never meant anything by it, but I disagree. I feel like now that I’m in this program, it’s hard for her to be happy for me because she isn’t the ONLY one who went this route. I guess because her and her hubby got engaged the same year and other small things have added up, I feel like it’s a subtle competition with her. I’m 8 months pregnant and well, my MIL said there was some exciting news that Betsy and her husband were going to share with us this weekend, I’m guessing I know what it is and so over feeling she tries to out do everything. |
Anonymous
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Her husband and SHE got engaged
SHE and her hubby got engaged Yikes! |
Anonymous
| You are overreacting it seems. |
Anonymous
Ha - this is the thing that stuck out for me, too. OP, you cannot control annoying people. They will be annoying their entire lives. You can only control how much time you spend with them, and how yiu react. People like this get minimal information from me - nothing more than superficial banter. I have several similar people in my life, so I understand your pain! |
Anonymous
You, not yiu. How autocorrect didn't catch that is beyond me! |
Anonymous
| You employ truly atrocious grammar, OP. |
Anonymous
|
You think she's competing with you because your lives are at similar stages? You got engaged 7 months before her and now think you're roughly 7 months more pregnant than her, and you think this is a conspiracy because ... you are jealous she is ahead of you in the Ph.D. race?
You're projecting, OP. Chalk it up to pregnancy hormones and don't be weird about it. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
I’ve been an emotional mess. Sorry if I don’t make sense. I don’t know if it’s hormones or what. The point is that I’m over her trying to rain on our parade. She didn’t seem too happy when I brought up the news that I was accepted into my program, to be honest that was a huge red flag. Is it too hard to be happy for someone when they finally see their hard work pay off?.. She expected everyone to attend her graduation party and a lot of acknowledgment! She acts like I’m getting in the way of her “spotlight” and so to me this is her way to trying to get the spotlight back if you will. |
Anonymous
You said in your OP that her Ph.D. wasn't a big deal and you don't understand why people brag about her for being in her program ("I don't get why the fuss. It's not like it's uncommon."). That's the attitude you've been giving her since you met; why should she be happier for you than you are for her? You're. Projecting. Your. Own. Insecurities. Onto. This. Woman. |
Anonymous
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Maybe it’s the hormones making you crazy, but you’re definitely acting crazy.
What do you think the big news is? Pregnancy? Do you think she got pregnant to try to outdo you? Really? |
Anonymous
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You seriously need to pull yourself together and quit worrying about stupid shit. Are you bored or something ?
And for the record, there is no such thing as a cousin in law. You don't marry the whole family. Learn to knit. It calms the mind. |
Anonymous
| Let it go and concentrate on your life and your baby, all this stuff is not worth your energy. |
Anonymous
| Advice to you OP, focus on you and not your cousin. Once your baby gets here there will be no time for pettiness. Your responsibilities will increase tenfold and your cousin’s behavior will be the least of your worries. |
Anonymous
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How are you in a PhD program with such poor writing? “Her and her hubby?” Did you really write that?
Yuck. Just focus on your own life and stop worrying about what someone said about what someone else said. You do you. And clean up your grammar. |
Anonymous
| Smile and nod. Repeat. |