sahm sad and wants to work (at times)

[Anonymous]

As a SAHM, I sometimes feel like DH is lucky that he gets to work with adults all day, not little ones who can't (or won't) reason with you and have nearly no impulse control - all while dealing with the housework duties that NEVER EVER end.

I know that my DH works hard to support us, but I still miss being out at work! I think I'm just venting, but feels good to say it.

Anyone else feel this way?

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way several times a month. I plan on staying home until my little one goes into kindergarten, so I tell myself I wont be home forever. It does suck on certain days though, the lonely feeling and the wanting time to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered going back to work? Maybe PT if you want to stay home, too?

[Anonymous]

We need to trade - I'm a WOHM mommy who is so jealous of you. Grass is always greener, I guess.

[Anonymous]

It's good to get it off of your chest, isn't it? Sounds like you could use a change and it's great that you recognize it. Sometimes PT work can be a great solution if you don't want too radical a change.

Working outside full time is also rewarding. I did it for five years. It's grueling. You commute and then do 8 hours and commute again, then do mommy work. I liked it a lot but it is very tiring. I went PT when my kid started kindergarten. It's still hard to fit everything into a day, but less so.

Good luck and hang in there

[Anonymous]

OP,
I'm a SAHM, too. Maybe you need time to yourself? I find that a few hours to myself once in awhile helps, or occasionally meeting with old friends helps. See if your DH will watch the kids on the weekend once in awhile so you can do something on your own.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP. I want to add that everyone feels disgruntled with their work sometimes. But when you're SAH and you feel disgruntled, it just makes you feel guilty, right? But I think it's normal to have ups and downs no matter which type of mom you are (SAHM, WM, WOHM, etc.)

So hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Op, i feel the same i have never worked before and i feel like i am missing on something its makes me sad that i probably will never have a job .

[Anonymous]

This is why I returned to work. I work PT (24hrs a week) and only have a 5mile commute. I really felt it important to SAH for a few years, but spent lots of time trying to find the perfect PT fit. I'm a strong believer that one MUST have balance. Working FT is too much for me and SAH is too much for me as well. When I SAH, I felt like I lived the movie Groundhog Day, with each day being exactly the same. I can sympathize, as I think there are only a very small number of people who thrive in that type of environment. I felt like when I SAH, I would get frustrated with my situation (and then of course my kids), but now that I work PT, I don't get those feelings anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a SAHM, I sometimes feel like DH is lucky that he gets to work with adults all day, not little ones who can't (or won't) reason with you and have nearly no impulse control - all while dealing with the housework duties that NEVER EVER end.

I know that my DH works hard to support us, but I still miss being out at work! I think I'm just venting, but feels good to say it.

Anyone else feel this way?

I feel the same way... with not possibility of part-time yet...

[Anonymous]

I don't feel that way. I worked for almost a year after my daughter was born and am now feeling very lucky to be able to stay home. I'm not saying I don't feel that way to be snarky! I'm saying it because I agree, as PP's have said, that you might want to look for some part time work outside of the home...or maybe even full time. I am 100% of the belief that a happy mommy is the most important thing...whether you work, stay home, or some combination of the two.

I guess it also depends on how often you feel that way. I agree that most people aren't 100% happy with their jobs or situation all of the time. Still, the decision is not irreversible. If you feel you don't like working, you can always stay home again, right?

[Anonymous]

Of course. But here's what I've done to make it work for us:
- Very realistic on things I will or will not get to around the house. You're doing an important job during the day with DC. Even if when they nap - you get a break (lunch break!) So when DH comes home - we're on even levels. We can both pitch in and get to things around the house.

- Structure during the week. A couple of group things/classes with DC, but also set up a few playdates with 1 or 2 friends. Just having another adult 1x/day around is a necessity in my book.

- Don't wait for DH to offer - book yourself a girls night out. Movies, dinner, book club, whatever it might be.

- Join a gym and get out of the house when DH gets home. Feels great to do a class and see/interact w/ other adults without kids! Let DH do the dinner/bath.

[Anonymous]

OP- how old are your kids? that makes a difference- no nap times- summer.. when preschool starts you'll have lots of time to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- how old are your kids? that makes a difference- no nap times- summer.. when preschool starts you'll have lots of time to yourself.

This and others about structure are good points, but don't get to missing work or missing working with adults.

If PT is not available and money is not a problem, have you considered some kind of volunteer program where you would do projects with other people, maybe in the office of a non-profit? If you could swing child care for those hours it would be like going back to work at times, but still give you flexibility.

[Anonymous]

There are so many intelligent, wonderfully capable mommies (like me, lol) who are at home and want to have a PT job or something 'else' to feel relevant outside the home....I would LOVE to come up with a company that could harness that energy?

(**warning** Pollyanna moment coming***)

Just think what we could accomplish if we all came together toward a goal!