Late night text from new contact.

[Anonymous]

Yep I snooped. Phone was on charger and kept buzzing.
Wife has been texting someone all afternoon to arrange drinks on next out of town trip. This is a new contact (never heard of this guy) and there's no previous text history.
What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Look him up on social media, etc.

[Anonymous]

Only have a first name, he's a ghist

[Anonymous]

Google the number. Could be a dead end, but works often.

[Anonymous]

Turn on iCloud backup so you’re able to recover the texts she deletes. Confront her about it now, before it escalates.

[Anonymous]

Call the number from work or somewhere were he wouldn't know it was you. His name in her phone may not be his name.

[Anonymous]

Need some more data points:
When is the trip?
How long have you been married?
Kids? Ages?
Do you have any other reason to suspect this may not be on the up-and-up? What is your gut saying?
In your opinion, how is your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Ask her casually if she has anything planned for her next trip and see if she mentions this guy/drinks at all.

If she doesn't mention it at all to you? Red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her casually if she has anything planned for her next trip and see if she mentions this guy/drinks at all.

If she doesn't mention it at all to you? Red flag.

This.

But don't confront until you have all evidence. Blow your wad too early and she'll cover it up and rearrange the meetup for another time.

Google/reverse look up the number. Call it from work and get the name...something like..I'm so and so calling for Chad...

> This isn't Chad

Doesn't Chad at xxx-xxx-xxxx

> No

May I ask who this is?

He may give the name, he may not. If you're convincing enough - like say your following up an an investigation or bill collecting he may name drop.

Other than that, like someone said, turn on backups, if you have access to the account with Verizon/AT&T or whatever you can get a list of the numbers texted and how often. You can't get the content but you have the numbers at least and the frequency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Other than that, like someone said, turn on backups, if you have access to the account with Verizon/AT&T or whatever you can get a list of the numbers texted and how often. You can't get the content but you have the numbers at least and the frequency.

Verizon/ATT doesn't track most texts, because they're sent via wifi app. You need to turn on icloud backup. There is also software you can use to recover deleted stuff. Gather your info, ask casually to give her the chance to disclose, and then confront directly if she does not disclose.

[Anonymous]

what did the texts say? She could be setting up a meeting for a work event. Why do you assume the worst? Has she been unfaithful before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what did the texts say? She could be setting up a meeting for a work event. Why do you assume the worst? Has she been unfaithful before?

If the genders were reversed, DCUMs would be ready in a sec to blame cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what did the texts say? She could be setting up a meeting for a work event. Why do you assume the worst? Has she been unfaithful before?

If the genders were reversed, DCUMs would be ready in a sec to blame cheating.

okey dokey....I hate when either gender plays victim. If you are worried about your husband cheating, post your story and we'll have a go at figuring it out. Until then, this guy asked about his wife and that's what I'm responding to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her casually if she has anything planned for her next trip and see if she mentions this guy/drinks at all.

If she doesn't mention it at all to you? Red flag.

I like this idea. However, a skilled cheater would bring it up and say, yeah, I'm having lunch or drinks with Fred, and leave it at that and just not mentioning the hottub, the kingsized bed, and the drizzle of chocolate sauce they had planned.

[Anonymous]

What was the tone of the texts? Business-like or tryst like? What kind of business is she in? If it was business like I wouldn't be concerned unless my marriage was rocky.