Late night text from new contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep I snooped. Phone was on charger and kept buzzing.
Wife has been texting someone all afternoon to arrange drinks on next out of town trip. This is a new contact (never heard of this guy) and there's no previous text history.
What would you do?

There’s probably no previous text history because she deletes it as she goes. I’m sorry OP...

[Anonymous]

Check survivinginfidelity.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than that, like someone said, turn on backups, if you have access to the account with Verizon/AT&T or whatever you can get a list of the numbers texted and how often. You can't get the content but you have the numbers at least and the frequency.

Verizon/ATT doesn't track most texts, because they're sent via wifi app. You need to turn on icloud backup. There is also software you can use to recover deleted stuff. Gather your info, ask casually to give her the chance to disclose, and then confront directly if she does not disclose.

So if iCloud backup is on can you read deleted text messages?

[Anonymous]

You can do a search for the number here and it will give you the name, address, city and possible relatives information. Then go search him up on link in or Facebook.

https://www.truepeoplesearch.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than that, like someone said, turn on backups, if you have access to the account with Verizon/AT&T or whatever you can get a list of the numbers texted and how often. You can't get the content but you have the numbers at least and the frequency.

Verizon/ATT doesn't track most texts, because they're sent via wifi app. You need to turn on icloud backup. There is also software you can use to recover deleted stuff. Gather your info, ask casually to give her the chance to disclose, and then confront directly if she does not disclose.

So if iCloud backup is on can you read deleted text messages?

Depends on when and how the backup ran. If iCloud backup is not on, you have more options. Think carefully though before investigating too deep. You cannot unsee some things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than that, like someone said, turn on backups, if you have access to the account with Verizon/AT&T or whatever you can get a list of the numbers texted and how often. You can't get the content but you have the numbers at least and the frequency.

Verizon/ATT doesn't track most texts, because they're sent via wifi app. You need to turn on icloud backup. There is also software you can use to recover deleted stuff. Gather your info, ask casually to give her the chance to disclose, and then confront directly if she does not disclose.

So if iCloud backup is on can you read deleted text messages?

Depends on when and how the backup ran. If iCloud backup is not on, you have more options. Think carefully though before investigating too deep. You cannot unsee some things.

Should be "If iCloud backup is on, you have more options."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than that, like someone said, turn on backups, if you have access to the account with Verizon/AT&T or whatever you can get a list of the numbers texted and how often. You can't get the content but you have the numbers at least and the frequency.

Verizon/ATT doesn't track most texts, because they're sent via wifi app. You need to turn on icloud backup. There is also software you can use to recover deleted stuff. Gather your info, ask casually to give her the chance to disclose, and then confront directly if she does not disclose.

So if iCloud backup is on can you read deleted text messages?

Depends on when and how the backup ran. If iCloud backup is not on, you have more options. Think carefully though before investigating too deep. You cannot unsee some things.

Should be "If iCloud backup is on, you have more options."

Do you have to look through the person’s actual phone or is it through the acct online?

[Anonymous]

OP Here
We've been rocky all year. But things have been improving.
I've always been faithful but not the best husband finances, depression, and housekeeping are issues we've had.

The texts were not incriminating just arranging for drinks after work. But the last one came in around midnight.
Shes in media travels almost weekly and she meets dozens of people a month. Most new people she talks to via email.

I'm terrible about holding my tongue so I woke her and asked. Are you having an affair? She said no, I want to believe her. We talked for over 2 hours. She didn't get mad or defensive and pointed out that I met this guy a year or so ago at a conference. I don't remember people that aren't direct co-workers or that we don't see frequently.

I trust her but I'm still queasy. Good thing I have therapy today.

[Anonymous]

Op please work on your annoying behaviors. That’s what is killing this deal. Your awareness of your shortcomings is making you anxious about her investment in your relationship.

Really, just go to therapy and do the work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here
We've been rocky all year. But things have been improving.
I've always been faithful but not the best husband finances, depression, and housekeeping are issues we've had.

The texts were not incriminating just arranging for drinks after work. But the last one came in around midnight.
Shes in media travels almost weekly and she meets dozens of people a month. Most new people she talks to via email.

I'm terrible about holding my tongue so I woke her and asked. Are you having an affair? She said no, I want to believe her. We talked for over 2 hours. She didn't get mad or defensive and pointed out that I met this guy a year or so ago at a conference. I don't remember people that aren't direct co-workers or that we don't see frequently.

I trust her but I'm still queasy. Good thing I have therapy today.

I'm in sales for a well known social media company and travel and entertain a lot. People text at all hours, it's convenient. If you woke your wife and she didn't get mad you are very lucky. If my DH woke me in the middle of the night asking me if I was having an affair I would have thought he was insane.

[Anonymous]

Search the number on Google for sure, but also Facebook. It's surprising how many people share their phone number with Facebook. There are also cell phone apps that use crowdsourcing technology to search phone numbers.

All that said, now you ID the guy but then what are you going to do? That's what you need to decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what did the texts say? She could be setting up a meeting for a work event. Why do you assume the worst? Has she been unfaithful before?

+1
This was my first thought. Sounds like a casual sales meeting or client intro, betworking, or the like.

Do you question every new contact on your dw's phone?? Insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can do a search for the number here and it will give you the name, address, city and possible relatives information. Then go search him up on link in or Facebook.

https://www.truepeoplesearch.com/

The amount of information here is terrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do a search for the number here and it will give you the name, address, city and possible relatives information. Then go search him up on link in or Facebook.

https://www.truepeoplesearch.com/

The amount of information here is terrifying.

+1000

I just removed my contact and DW's. Also, based on the address list on my profile, it's obvious they pull data from Amazon. It has every address to which I've shipped Amazon packages. I guess they are buying lists from Amazon? Do they sell this?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do a search for the number here and it will give you the name, address, city and possible relatives information. Then go search him up on link in or Facebook.

https://www.truepeoplesearch.com/

The amount of information here is terrifying.

Although in my case a lot of inaccuracies. And the listed "associates" mostly seem to be people I bought houses from or sold houses to - people with whom I have zero connection.