Husband and female coworkers

[Anonymous]

My spouse and I met at work. I left the job two years ago and he’s still there. During my time there, there was a group of women that tried (and failed) to get me fired from the job. I found out that my husband has been going to lunch and happy hour with these women. I’m annoyed by it, but he doesn’t think it’s a problem because they had issues with me not him. Am I wrong for being upset about this?

[Anonymous]

hell yes! My DH has lots of female friends whom he met from previous jobs. I have no problem when he goes out to lunch or something with them to catch up, but if they were mean to me, or actively tried to fire me... holy sh1t. I can't even imagine my DH would ever do that. There's something else going on there.

[Anonymous]

Why does it matter that they are female? Would you have the same problem if it were males?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter that they are female? Would you have the same problem if it were males?

If they were males that tried to get me fired? Yes, I would still have an issue.

[Anonymous]

He is a jackass. My DW's enemy is my enemy!!

[Anonymous]

So you want your husband to sow bad feelings in a place he still works at? There's a reason you were forced out.

[Anonymous]

Very unwise to bang coworkers; risks harassment claim, but I'm sure he's smart enough not to shit where he eats. Oh wait, never mind...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a jackass. My DW's enemy is my enemy!!

That’s how it should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you want your husband to sow bad feelings in a place he still works at? There's a reason you were forced out.

No, but to hang out with them knowing what they put me through feels like betrayal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you want your husband to sow bad feelings in a place he still works at? There's a reason you were forced out.

No, but to hang out with them knowing what they put me through feels like betrayal.

It is. The fact that he doesn't see it this way seems like he cares more about himself than you. Sorry. As you said, he doesn't need to hang out with them. Wow.. this would hurt me so much. How would he feel if the roles were reversed?

[Anonymous]

is he hanging out with them alone or simply not making some power struggle where he's not opting out of team events that they are included in? Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is he hanging out with them alone or simply not making some power struggle where he's not opting out of team events that they are included in? Big difference.

+1. If he's hanging out with just them, that would piss me off. However, if he's just attending work functions/happy hours where they are there in a larger group of folks, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

[Anonymous]

This would piss me off. We are a team and our enemies are joint enemies. He can be polite and professional, but socializing with them?! That’s betrayal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is he hanging out with them alone or simply not making some power struggle where he's not opting out of team events that they are included in? Big difference.

He’s just hanging out with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would piss me off. We are a team and our enemies are joint enemies. He can be polite and professional, but socializing with them?! That’s betrayal.

LOL