I'm getting tired of my girlfriend
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Anonymous
| I love my girlfriend very much but I can't deal with her insecurity issues anymore. She is 29 and has had lifelong insecurities about her looks. She never felt loved as a child, and always dealt with feeling good enough. We have been dating for almost 6 months. I think she if beautiful, but she constantly puts herself down. She isn't necessarily jealous, but is always asking " Why do you like me. I am me as pretty as other women." I love her and she checks off all the other boxes in want in a partner, which is why I have stayed this long. I suggested therapy but she said she doesn't feel she needs it. She goes through days of feeling pretty, and then days of the insecure behavior, which is more magnified than I've seen in any other woman. I love her and want to be with her, but I am tired of it. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves. |
Anonymous
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Dating is about finding out about the other person
You do not have to keep dating You can have any reason at all for deciding you don't want to be together. |
Anonymous
| Are the guy from the last thread? I think someone called troll and had that thread removed. Just an FYI, you might not get a lot of great advice if this is a repeat. Please disregard if you are not the troll. |
Anonymous
| My brother dated someone off and on like this and they ended up getting married. It is EXHAUSTING for him to have to deal with, she is constantly insecure and then criticizes others to make herself feel better. Unless she's willing to get help, I'd say end it. |
Anonymous
I've never posted about her on here. Looking at the other threads, it's about weight, and she doesn't have weight issues. |
Anonymous
| Break up. She won't get over this without therapy and if she's refusing therapy there is no hope for her. Spare yourself a life of constantly reassuring someone who isn't proactive enough to get professional help. |
Anonymous
| I was like this. And was for decades. I'm 50 now. Emotionally abusive childhood. However, she should listen to you when you say there is a problem, and she should try therapy. Tell her straight up that you don't think you can stay with her because of this. Don't mince words. It might clue her in. Or it might not. And if it doesn't, cut and run. |
Anonymous
| I dated a male version of your gf. Insecure about his physical appearance, family background, academic/professional achievements, etc. Over time, he also became jealous and somewhat controlling. He wanted constant attention and validation from me. It was exhausting. I ended it after 2 years. |
Anonymous
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If she has ups and downs, she may be bipolar. I would bolt, OP, honestly. I married my spouse with a mental disorder, and it's been really hard. |
Anonymous
This is spot on. When you are dating someone seriously, even if you are in love, you have to think, can I deal with x behavior for the next 20 years? If the answer is no, it’s not fair to you or the other person to stay in that relationship when you know it wouldn’t lead to marriage and that’s what you or the other person is hoping for someday. Or why would you stay when you knew it advance that you wouldn’t be happy? At some point that unhappiness will start to change who you are as a person and how you deal with things, usually not in a good way. So be upfront and stay strong in what you know is the right course of action |
Anonymous
| Way too much trouble for a relationship that's only 6 months. Imagine how bad she'll hate herself when she's pregnant, or getting "fat" from being pregnant or the stretch marks from being pregnant or just getting older. Cut and run now. |
Anonymous
Everyone has ups and downs. I don't think you know what bipolar is. A "down" in bipolar is literally cannot get out of bed for days. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, this quirk doesn't get better. |
Anonymous
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I broke up with someone because of the constant fishing for reassurance/compliments. I didn't have enough self-esteem for both of us. |
Anonymous
| What if you make a list of all the things you love about her and give it to her? |