Women and cheating

[Anonymous]

I read this article recently on why women cheat

http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/05/health/why-women-cheat-partner/index.html

While I get the fact that people of both sexes cheat, it appears that when it's about women cheating, the tone is "it's ok, they are doing it for a reason" but when guys do, they are assho**s". Does anyone else get that feeling?

[Anonymous]

Oh stop with the misogyny.

If women initiate more divorces or refuse to get married to begin with, it's simply because more of us have the economic power to refuse to get into or refuse to stay in a relationship that doesn't value us equally on every level (relational, financial, work load at home, child-rearing duties, employment opportunities, legally, etc.)

And, as a female partner who was cheated on, I can attest that the entire psychology industry is still set up to view infidelity as a "relationship problem" instead of the individual personality problem it is. Both men and women use the excuse that they aren't getting something from the relationship. Men have been using that excuse (and it's been accepted) for hundreds of years. Men say women don't give me enough sex, don't make me feel important enough, don't make my home a welcoming place, etc.....

[Anonymous]

Women initiate the greater % of divorces because they have much higher expectations of marriage than men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop with the misogyny.

If women initiate more divorces or refuse to get married to begin with, it's simply because more of us have the economic power to refuse to get into or refuse to stay in a relationship that doesn't value us equally on every level (relational, financial, work load at home, child-rearing duties, employment opportunities, legally, etc.)

And, as a female partner who was cheated on, I can attest that the entire psychology industry is still set up to view infidelity as a "relationship problem" instead of the individual personality problem it is. Both men and women use the excuse that they aren't getting something from the relationship. Men have been using that excuse (and it's been accepted) for hundreds of years. Men say women don't give me enough sex, don't make me feel important enough, don't make my home a welcoming place, etc.....

it's not misogyny. it sucks to have been the spouse who was cheated on PP, I know as my exW cheated on me. I provided a pretty good lifestyle, was a doting father to our children, etc., etc. She still felt the need to step out. Not a single one of our friends has described her as an asshole for cheating. Had the roles been reversed, I would have been the lying asshole. But since she was the one, it seems to be NBD. that's just a fact that I think many here can confirm in their own experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women initiate the greater % of divorces because they have much higher expectations of marriage than men.

Or- as the article from Huffington post shows - they can’t make up their minds. They want a sensitive guy...no wait they want a manly guy...oh wait they don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop with the misogyny.

If women initiate more divorces or refuse to get married to begin with, it's simply because more of us have the economic power to refuse to get into or refuse to stay in a relationship that doesn't value us equally on every level (relational, financial, work load at home, child-rearing duties, employment opportunities, legally, etc.)

And, as a female partner who was cheated on, I can attest that the entire psychology industry is still set up to view infidelity as a "relationship problem" instead of the individual personality problem it is. Both men and women use the excuse that they aren't getting something from the relationship. Men have been using that excuse (and it's been accepted) for hundreds of years. Men say women don't give me enough sex, don't make me feel important enough, don't make my home a welcoming place, etc.....

it's not misogyny. it sucks to have been the spouse who was cheated on PP, I know as my exW cheated on me. I provided a pretty good lifestyle, was a doting father to our children, etc., etc. She still felt the need to step out. Not a single one of our friends has described her as an asshole for cheating. Had the roles been reversed, I would have been the lying asshole. But since she was the one, it seems to be NBD. that's just a fact that I think many here can confirm in their own experiences.

I am PP to whom you respond. Personally, I think something else is at work when you say, "not a single one of our friends has described her as an asshole for cheating". .... what is at work is the desire of friends not to get in the middle out if respect for you and fear for themselves. Infidelity is like death. People are squeamish about it. They don't know what to say about it. If they tell you she's an ass and then you reconcile, they're in an awkward position. Or even if you split, people are still trying to preserve the tranquility for the sake of their kids relationship with yours and neighborly comity. People don't want to know too much about infidelity, because they don't want to contemplate the possibility in their own relationship and because they feel like infidelity "catches". They also don't want to think anout someone else's sex life, or be seen judging it, which is viewed as prudish and risking a bit of karmic backlash. Or, she is telling an entirely different story, and your mutual friends simply don't have any basis to choose one of you as telling the truth over the other.

Let go of your need to have other people affirm that you shouldn't have been cheated upon. You know that inside and you don't need anyone else to validate it. ove on and find someone else who also understands that no one deserves to be cheated upon.

[Anonymous]

Esther Perel is an opportunist trying to sell books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women initiate the greater % of divorces because they have much higher expectations of marriage than men.

Also, on average, men are easier to please. Sex, food, companionship. They don't feel a big void worthy of divorce, unless there is no sex. Women are more complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women initiate the greater % of divorces because they have much higher expectations of marriage than men.

Not higher expectations, higher entitlement. The entitlement displayed by American women is gigantic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop with the misogyny.

If women initiate more divorces or refuse to get married to begin with, it's simply because more of us have the economic power to refuse to get into or refuse to stay in a relationship that doesn't value us equally on every level (relational, financial, work load at home, child-rearing duties, employment opportunities, legally, etc.)

And, as a female partner who was cheated on, I can attest that the entire psychology industry is still set up to view infidelity as a "relationship problem" instead of the individual personality problem it is. Both men and women use the excuse that they aren't getting something from the relationship. Men have been using that excuse (and it's been accepted) for hundreds of years. Men say women don't give me enough sex, don't make me feel important enough, don't make my home a welcoming place, etc.....

There is a really interesting piece in the Atlantic recently that talks about this- this psychologist gets blasted often for her view that infidelity has basically nothing to do with the relationship, nor the person being cheated on, most of the time. Something along the lines of "why happy people cheat" or a similar title- from the last few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women initiate the greater % of divorces because they have much higher expectations of marriage than men.

Or- as the article from Huffington post shows - they can’t make up their minds. They want a sensitive guy...no wait they want a manly guy...oh wait they don’t.

Damn, I'm so glad that as a woman no one wants me to be more than one thing. Lady in the streets but a freak in the bed- seriously Ludacris has a wild imagination. Make you feel like a man, but not to the point of being a freeloader of course, super cute, but also sexy, super smart but also "one of the guys" but feminine. "I prefer no makeup", but not that girl with a butterface that looks all tired, that girl over there with no makeup who looks fresh faced and rested".....and is wearing 10 makeup products in the right neutral tones and precision application so as to look like its not really on.

Damn I'm so glad no one excepts that of any woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women initiate the greater % of divorces because they have much higher expectations of marriage than men.

Or- as the article from Huffington post shows - they can’t make up their minds. They want a sensitive guy...no wait they want a manly guy...oh wait they don’t.

Damn, I'm so glad that as a woman no one wants me to be more than one thing. Lady in the streets but a freak in the bed- seriously Ludacris has a wild imagination. Make you feel like a man, but not to the point of being a freeloader of course, super cute, but also sexy, super smart but also "one of the guys" but feminine. "I prefer no makeup", but not that girl with a butterface that looks all tired, that girl over there with no makeup who looks fresh faced and rested".....and is wearing 10 makeup products in the right neutral tones and precision application so as to look like its not really on.

Damn I'm so glad no one excepts that of any woman.

+1000. Men are equally as confused. They want a woman who isn't a slut and doesn't put out right away, but one who is sexually adventurous and craves it every day. And one who is nurturing and will take care of most of the housework & childcare, but will also bring in just as much income. Not a gold digger or materialistic, but must be at least an 8.5 and dress to impress his friends. Totally okay with her man going out and getting s***faced with his friends, but spends her own weekends inside reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women initiate the greater % of divorces because they have much higher expectations of marriage than men.

Or- as the article from Huffington post shows - they can’t make up their minds. They want a sensitive guy...no wait they want a manly guy...oh wait they don’t.

Damn, I'm so glad that as a woman no one wants me to be more than one thing. Lady in the streets but a freak in the bed- seriously Ludacris has a wild imagination. Make you feel like a man, but not to the point of being a freeloader of course, super cute, but also sexy, super smart but also "one of the guys" but feminine. "I prefer no makeup", but not that girl with a butterface that looks all tired, that girl over there with no makeup who looks fresh faced and rested".....and is wearing 10 makeup products in the right neutral tones and precision application so as to look like its not really on.

Damn I'm so glad no one excepts that of any woman.

+1000. Men are equally as confused. They want a woman who isn't a slut and doesn't put out right away, but one who is sexually adventurous and craves it every day. And one who is nurturing and will take care of most of the housework & childcare, but will also bring in just as much income. Not a gold digger or materialistic, but must be at least an 8.5 and dress to impress his friends. Totally okay with her man going out and getting s***faced with his friends, but spends her own weekends inside reading.

You’ll never find this mythical woman. Thing is society has created this beta male women wanted so badly and yet they still initiate all the divorces. Oscar Wilde is right, minds like Swiss cheese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop with the misogyny.

If women initiate more divorces or refuse to get married to begin with, it's simply because more of us have the economic power to refuse to get into or refuse to stay in a relationship that doesn't value us equally on every level (relational, financial, work load at home, child-rearing duties, employment opportunities, legally, etc.)

And, as a female partner who was cheated on, I can attest that the entire psychology industry is still set up to view infidelity as a "relationship problem" instead of the individual personality problem it is. Both men and women use the excuse that they aren't getting something from the relationship. Men have been using that excuse (and it's been accepted) for hundreds of years. Men say women don't give me enough sex, don't make me feel important enough, don't make my home a welcoming place, etc.....

it's not misogyny. it sucks to have been the spouse who was cheated on PP, I know as my exW cheated on me. I provided a pretty good lifestyle, was a doting father to our children, etc., etc. She still felt the need to step out. Not a single one of our friends has described her as an asshole for cheating. Had the roles been reversed, I would have been the lying asshole. But since she was the one, it seems to be NBD. that's just a fact that I think many here can confirm in their own experiences.

I am PP to whom you respond. Personally, I think something else is at work when you say, "not a single one of our friends has described her as an asshole for cheating". .... what is at work is the desire of friends not to get in the middle out if respect for you and fear for themselves. Infidelity is like death. People are squeamish about it. They don't know what to say about it. If they tell you she's an ass and then you reconcile, they're in an awkward position. Or even if you split, people are still trying to preserve the tranquility for the sake of their kids relationship with yours and neighborly comity. People don't want to know too much about infidelity, because they don't want to contemplate the possibility in their own relationship and because they feel like infidelity "catches". They also don't want to think anout someone else's sex life, or be seen judging it, which is viewed as prudish and risking a bit of karmic backlash. Or, she is telling an entirely different story, and your mutual friends simply don't have any basis to choose one of you as telling the truth over the other.

Let go of your need to have other people affirm that you shouldn't have been cheated upon. You know that inside and you don't need anyone else to validate it. ove on and find someone else who also understands that no one deserves to be cheated upon.

This is just Misandrist drivel! Read the PP's note. Like he says, he would be called an asshole by most of the people that you are now "fem-splaining" as to why they did not call out the wife.. Really?

My wife does the same shit. A friend of ours, recently dumped her husband AND THE KIDS for another guy. My wife was trying to rationalize that. I've heard tirades on what an asshole the guy was on smilar episodes of guys leaving.

All you biatches are the same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[quote=Anonymous wrote:Women initiate the greater % of divorces because they have much higher expectations of marriage than men.

They want a woman who isn't a slut and doesn't put out right away, but one who is sexually adventurous and craves it every day. And one who is nurturing and will take care of most of the housework & childcare, but will also bring in just as much income. Not a gold digger or materialistic, but must be at least an 8.5 and dress to impress his friends. Totally okay with her man going out and getting s***faced with his friends, but spends her own weekends inside reading.

Is that so hard? You have the blueprint to success, now execute it.