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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh stop with the misogyny.

If women initiate more divorces or refuse to get married to begin with, it's simply because more of us have the economic power to refuse to get into or refuse to stay in a relationship that doesn't value us equally on every level (relational, financial, work load at home, child-rearing duties, employment opportunities, legally, etc.)

And, as a female partner who was cheated on, I can attest that the entire psychology industry is still set up to view infidelity as a "relationship problem" instead of the individual personality problem it is.  Both men and women use the excuse that they aren't getting something from the relationship.  Men have been using that excuse (and it's been accepted) for hundreds of years.  Men say women don't give me enough sex, don't make me feel important enough, don't make my home a welcoming place, etc..... 
[/quote]

it's not misogyny.  it sucks to have been the spouse who was cheated on PP, I know as my exW cheated on me.  I provided a pretty good lifestyle, was a doting father to our children, etc., etc.  She still felt the need to step out.  Not a single one of our friends has described her as an asshole for cheating.  Had the roles been reversed, I would have been the lying asshole. But since she was the one, it seems to be NBD.  that's just a fact that I think many here can confirm in their own experiences.[/quote]

I am PP to whom you respond.  Personally, I think something else is at work when you say, "not a single one of our friends has described her as an asshole for cheating".  .... what is at work is the desire of friends not to get in the middle out if respect for you and fear for themselves.  Infidelity is like death.  People are squeamish about it.  They don't know what to say about it.   If they tell you she's an ass and then you reconcile, they're in an awkward position.  Or even if you split, people are still trying to preserve the tranquility for the sake of their kids relationship with yours and neighborly comity.  People don't want to know too much about infidelity, because they don't want to contemplate the possibility in their own relationship and because they feel like infidelity "catches".  They also don't want to think anout someone else's sex life, or be seen judging it, which is viewed as prudish and risking a bit of karmic backlash.  Or, she is telling an entirely different story, and your mutual friends simply don't have any basis to choose one of you as telling the truth over the other.

Let go of your need to have other people affirm that you shouldn't have been cheated upon.  You know that inside and you don't need anyone else to validate it. ove on and find someone else who also understands that no one deserves to be cheated upon.[/quote]

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