Tell me how to handle a break-up well

[Anonymous]

Please. I am really struggling and sad. I feel like a fool for even having gotten into a relationship. I'm maintaining no-contact, but am otherwise a wreck. Tips and advice needed please!

[Anonymous]

Maintaining no contact is absolutely the best thing you can do. Give yourself tons of credit for that.

If you are able to compartmentalize, I have found it effective to allow a certain amount of time each day to seriously let it all out. Be sad, get angry, write letters you will never send, cry into your bowl of ice cream. And then, move on.

Take care of your whole self. Make the effort to get together with friends, spend time outside each day, exercise, paint your toenails.

This is a tough time to get through. But you will. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Do something for others regularly. Do something physical regularly.

[Anonymous]

There’s a lot of good information on this site if you do a search.
Just adding to the ghod advice you got above, reading is theraputic to me, I remember reading a couple of breakup books I got from the library and they helped a bit. Also, try to not think about him (easier said then done, I know) but stay busy(if there’s a project you always wanted to do now is the time to start working on it) excercise and pamper yourself. Go on a mini vacation or visit someone eho’s out of town.

There is hope, you will be okay.

[Anonymous]

NC is great and you should be proud of yourself for maintaining it because it's HARD. If you need to do not feel guilty about deleting his number from your phone completely, blocking his number, and blocking him from all social media so you don't have to worry about him popping up and it helps you resist temptation.

I tried to lean into self-care - it's how I got into lengthy skincare routines. I made art. I let myself feel the pain and anger. I let myself cry, hard and often. I let myself miss him.

I also needed a script for Ambien and little nibbles of Xanax (in addition to my regular anti-depressant) to get me through the evenings and nights alone for a couple of months. Not for everyone, obviously, but it really helped me and I don't have any shame about it.

[Anonymous]

Go somewhere you don't know anyone and don't care. Strike up a conversation with someone you find interesting and sleep with them (make sure you practice safe sex). It sounds silly and trite but it reminds you that you are attractive and that there are people out there beyond this person. It also helps to put some distance between you.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I know this sounds pathetic but if I hear from him should I respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know this sounds pathetic but if I hear from him should I respond?

No. Block him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know this sounds pathetic but if I hear from him should I respond?

My honest advice is...no. If it’s meant to be, it will be, but give yourself some time to process everything before getting back in contact (if at all).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know this sounds pathetic but if I hear from him should I respond?

Thinking about that makes it harder to move on. Cross that bridge when you come to it. I definitely wouldn't respond right away. I think it would depend on the content and I'd make him make a real effort ( try more than once)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please. I am really struggling and sad. I feel like a fool for even having gotten into a relationship. I'm maintaining no-contact, but am otherwise a wreck. Tips and advice needed please!

Know that it's going to hurt for awhile. That's normal. If you keep thinking you should feel better fast, that makes it worse, IMO.

Develop new routines.

Lean on others for some company.

Don't watch sad movies or listen to sad songs.

Is there a hobby you always wanted to take up? Do it now. I remember when a guy friend of mine got dumped by the love of his life. He took up flying lessons.

[Anonymous]

I have a different view. I would respond, only briefly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a different view. I would respond, only briefly.

It takes extreme willpower to respond and not get roped into a conversation. I don't think many could do it healthily. I know I couldn't.

[Anonymous]

You are in a state of mourning....
Mourning the loss of love, a dream, etc.

And you should allow yourself to heal completely & in doing so, feel the pain wholeheartedly.

Do not try taking any shortcuts to “get around” healing your heart.
Because there are none.
In order to properly HEAL, you need to ride out your pain.
No exceptions!

Good for you OP for ceasing all contact.
You are definitely on the right path!

Avoid self-medicating, but going on an antidepressant may literally save you if the pain becomes too unbearable to endure.

Also:
• Avoid any toxic people in your life.
Yes, relatives included.
• Take care of YOU.
Eat healthy, exercise often, sleep well + shower daily.
• Take up volunteering.
Helping others is a wonderful way to take the focus of yourself and put it on someone else in need.
• Adopt or foster a pet if you love animals.
Their unconditional love will blow you away.
• Organize a bedroom closet. Rearrange your living room furniture for a fresh start.

Good luck to you OP!
There will be a day when the pain will be gone, but you must be patient in order to reach that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are in a state of mourning....
Mourning the loss of love, a dream, etc.

And you should allow yourself to heal completely & in doing so, feel the pain wholeheartedly.

Do not try taking any shortcuts to “get around” healing your heart.
Because there are none.
In order to properly HEAL, you need to ride out your pain.
No exceptions!

Good for you OP for ceasing all contact.
You are definitely on the right path!

Avoid self-medicating, but going on an antidepressant may literally save you if the pain becomes too unbearable to endure.

Also:
• Avoid any toxic people in your life.
Yes, relatives included.
• Take care of YOU.
Eat healthy, exercise often, sleep well + shower daily.
• Take up volunteering.
Helping others is a wonderful way to take the focus of yourself and put it on someone else in need.
• Adopt or foster a pet if you love animals.
Their unconditional love will blow you away.
• Organize a bedroom closet. Rearrange your living room furniture for a fresh start.

Good luck to you OP!
There will be a day when the pain will be gone, but you must be patient in order to reach that point.

Not OP but I love all this advice.