Separated but no plans for divorce

[Anonymous]

I was seeing someone who has been separated from his wife for over 2 years now, supposedly can't stand her and yet no plans for a divorce. I did ask him why they weren't divorced yet or haven't filed yet, he said he didn't know. Thoughts????

[Anonymous]

Move on

[Anonymous]

hahahaha. sucker

[Anonymous]

he's lying, they're not separated

[Anonymous]

I have a friend and her husband who are separated but won't divorce so she can still be on his health insurance. Yes, that is still a thing. He has a long term girlfriend. She's not well, and I'm super glad they haven't divorced. Even though they are no longer married-married, I'm glad they are still friends.

[Anonymous]

This is me. But I have kids and don't want to feed the divorce legal industry. We both conflict averse.

That said, I do not understand why my ex isn't more pro active about getting it done and moving on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


This is me. But I have kids and don't want to feed the divorce legal industry. We both conflict averse.

That said, I do not understand why my ex isn't more pro active about getting it done and moving on.

Why aren't you more proactive about getting it done and moving on? I can't think of anything more depressing than being in a game of chicken just for the sake of not feeding the "divorce legal industry." You know that you can go to mediation and then file on your own. No fuss, no muss, done.

People make things way more complicated than they need to be. That's how divorce lawyers get rich.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. My former AP told me that, and I fell for it...twice. And his wife found out...twice (and took him back at least those two times with me, who knows how many others there were).

I was an idiot in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

I had a boyfriend like this. He was legitimately separated (as in, they never lived together again) but he never divorced his wife. As far as I know they're still married 10 years later. But he was unable/unwilling to move on because he was still emotionally entangled with his wife and she was not willing to let him go completely. Basically the types that thrive off of drama.

If you're looking for a relationship that's serious, move on.

[Anonymous]

I was at family court one day and there was a couple getting divorced. They had been separated since 1977. Separated for almost 40 years and neither had ever filed for divorce.

[Anonymous]

I've been separated for a year, and we could technically file for divorce any time now. I've not initiated simply for the reason that we have agreed in our separation agreement that he can not introduce his Affair Partner to our children until after the divorce is final. No incentive for me to file the paper work . .. every day my children live without that horrible thing in their lives is a gift.

[Anonymous]

I dated now DH for 5 yrs before he got divorced. All 3 of the adults were content with the situation. She was a SAHM and needed to be married to him for insurance. From a financial standpoint it made sense.

My point is that if you are not okay with the situation then he's not the one for you. Divorce is messy and complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for a year, and we could technically file for divorce any time now. I've not initiated simply for the reason that we have agreed in our separation agreement that he can not introduce his Affair Partner to our children until after the divorce is final. No incentive for me to file the paper work . .. every day my children live without that horrible thing in their lives is a gift.

You sound stable and well-adjusted. I can’t understand why he would seek out other women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he's lying, they're not separated

He has his own apartment, a closet full of clothes...actually a 2 bedroom filled with stuff. I've stayed there weeknights, weekends, holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's lying, they're not separated

He has his own apartment, a closet full of clothes...actually a 2 bedroom filled with stuff. I've stayed there weeknights, weekends, holidays.

That doesn't mean anything. Seriously. The wife may not know anything about the apartment.