Leaving husband after 30 years

[Anonymous]

My husband is back from his month long trip and I'm ready to kick him to the curb.
I've recently discovered a lot of our investments are in my husband's name only, which he says are because they were set up as retirement accounts. I'm not buying it. I've wanted to change our financial planner for years and my husband has refused. I've now laid down the law. Change to Vanguard or another company that will give us regular updates on our earnings or get a divorce. He said he's prefer a divorce.
OK. How do I deal with this and get my share? We put a lot of $$$ into investments and there's no way he's walking away with it all. We earned basically the same for decades but almost all of his was going to investments while most of mine paid for our living expenses. I realize now that I've been a fool.

[Anonymous]

It's still half your money, unless it came to him from an inheritance or something. He thinks he's pulling one over on you but just putting marital assets in one name doesn't make them not marital assets.

[Anonymous]

You need to document document document document all of this.

[Anonymous]

Get.

A.

Lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's still half your money, unless it came to him from an inheritance or something. He thinks he's pulling one over on you but just putting marital assets in one name doesn't make them not marital assets.

Absolutely correct. You need to get an attorney pronto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's still half your money, unless it came to him from an inheritance or something. He thinks he's pulling one over on you but just putting marital assets in one name doesn't make them not marital assets.

agree.

bad news he prefers a divorce to putting his spouse's name on the combined investment account. what a nut job.

[Anonymous]

my husband even loaded up on an annual SEP IRA, as a 1099 contractor, and that was factored in when dividing up assets 50/50.

[Anonymous]

Is he the one that was traveling for a month with his "friend"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he the one that was traveling for a month with his "friend"?

I wondered the same. So bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he the one that was traveling for a month with his "friend"?

The same. Now he's back and dictating this and that. He can have it. I'm kicking him to the curb, getting a condo with no lawn work and keeping my own money. He can have his new car, new lathe, new computer and trips and he can pay for them out of his $. Why would I keep a husband who hasn't touched me in 20 years and makes me feel like shit about myself? I was far happier and more productive while he was gone. Now he's been back 48 hours and I wish he were still gone. Calling lawyer tomorrow.

Problem: We're supposed to go to beach with four other couples on Saturday. Go and fake it or not?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, OP, this sounds a bad enough situation that you should cancel your plans with other couples.

[Anonymous]

Do not go ... it doesn't seem like you'll be able to fake it. And why should you? You're getting divorced.

[Anonymous]

So my hair dresser was married for more than 20 years. Her husband saved all his money under his name, went on vacation by himself, put maximum on his 401k.... while she paid for a nice house in McLean, and all the household expenses. A couple of years ago, he wanted a divorce and half of the house. The lawyer told him that it was fine, but he also had to cough up half of his cash. Suddenly he did not want a divorce anymore. My hairdresser said too late, and divorced him

[Anonymous]

Id skip the trip. Hes a drag. No need to save face. Just rip the bandaid off.

[Anonymous]

You have faked it long enough. The other couples want you to get out too and not got to the beach.