DD's behavior issues at school?

[Anonymous]

My 6 y/o DD was kicked out of pre K 2 years ago in February. They told us she would bully, threaten parents of kids (say she was going to best them up), rip up other kids work, yell while the teacher is talking, run around room, run out of the room, pretended to have a gun and said she was going to kill everyone, pushed down a kid very hard he almost injured his head, which was the reasons for expelling her. We did give her consequences at home, they didn't help. Than we put her in another preschool, the same behavior, so we pulled her out. We made a difficult decision for another year of pre K (her birthday is in August). They expelled her after 2 months for the same issues so we put her in a very small pre k (5 kids total). No issues, according to the school. Now she is in kindergarten and I keep getting calls and emails from the teacher and principal that my daughter is running in and out of the room, yelling while teacher is talking, hitting other kids, ripping up other kids work, and was suspended 2 weeks ago for trying to poke a kid in the eye with a pen, last week she kept pulling a kids pants down while the class was going to lunch, in other words, the same behaviors as pre k. When she is so disruptive the teacher cannot teach, the teacher isolates her or removes from the room. She sees this as special attention so she wins. Yesterday I had a meeting with her teacher and principal and they told me that if she keeps this up, she will not be promoted to 1st grade. She is already among the older kids, so she will be over aged. We can't come up with anything at our house to act as a reward or deterrent. Her behavior gets worse, not better. She doesn't behave this way at home.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps report your post and ask Jeff to move it to special needs.

[Anonymous]

Therapist, fast. Something is going on. It could be something like ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, etc. it's best to figure out what so that you can help engage her positively at school.

[Anonymous]

Where is the part of your post where you detail the visits to the developmental pediatrician or child psychologist, the evaluations she had, and the diagnoses and discussion about treatment?

PLEASE tell me you did something along those lines in the two years between her first expulsion and this year's problems.

If you didn't, shame on you. This poor child is crying out for help. She has a mental disorder (and ADHD is probably the main factor, but there could be something else as well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Where is the part of your post where you detail the visits to the developmental pediatrician or child psychologist, the evaluations she had, and the diagnoses and discussion about treatment?

PLEASE tell me you did something along those lines in the two years between her first expulsion and this year's problems.

If you didn't, shame on you. This poor child is crying out for help. She has a mental disorder (and ADHD is probably the main factor, but there could be something else as well).

OP here. We did consequences, talking to her firmly making eye contact in a low tone voice, taken away TV, tablet, toys, grounding, ignoring her, time outs, etc. I am here looking for consequences that hopefully work. I never went to a developmental pediatrician, child psychologist or had an evaluation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where is the part of your post where you detail the visits to the developmental pediatrician or child psychologist, the evaluations she had, and the diagnoses and discussion about treatment?

PLEASE tell me you did something along those lines in the two years between her first expulsion and this year's problems.

If you didn't, shame on you. This poor child is crying out for help. She has a mental disorder (and ADHD is probably the main factor, but there could be something else as well).

OP here. We did consequences, talking to her firmly making eye contact in a low tone voice, taken away TV, tablet, toys, grounding, ignoring her, time outs, etc. I am here looking for consequences that hopefully work. I never went to a developmental pediatrician, child psychologist or had an evaluation.

Not being rude but given the concerns, why on earth have you not done any of those things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Where is the part of your post where you detail the visits to the developmental pediatrician or child psychologist, the evaluations she had, and the diagnoses and discussion about treatment?

PLEASE tell me you did something along those lines in the two years between her first expulsion and this year's problems.

If you didn't, shame on you. This poor child is crying out for help. She has a mental disorder (and ADHD is probably the main factor, but there could be something else as well).

STOP IT. There is no need to berate OP. Just stop. You attacking other parents is not the way to alleviate whatever anxiety you have about your own kid.

OP, you should ask the school to evaluate your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where is the part of your post where you detail the visits to the developmental pediatrician or child psychologist, the evaluations she had, and the diagnoses and discussion about treatment?

PLEASE tell me you did something along those lines in the two years between her first expulsion and this year's problems.

If you didn't, shame on you. This poor child is crying out for help. She has a mental disorder (and ADHD is probably the main factor, but there could be something else as well).

OP here. We did consequences, talking to her firmly making eye contact in a low tone voice, taken away TV, tablet, toys, grounding, ignoring her, time outs, etc. I am here looking for consequences that hopefully work. I never went to a developmental pediatrician, child psychologist or had an evaluation.

Well what are you waiting for? Obviously traditional methods of discipline are not going to work on her. You need help for your daughter. Go get it. We can not suggest a punishment that will pull your daughter into line. All you know so far is that she does well in a tiny school of five children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where is the part of your post where you detail the visits to the developmental pediatrician or child psychologist, the evaluations she had, and the diagnoses and discussion about treatment?

PLEASE tell me you did something along those lines in the two years between her first expulsion and this year's problems.

If you didn't, shame on you. This poor child is crying out for help. She has a mental disorder (and ADHD is probably the main factor, but there could be something else as well).

STOP IT. There is no need to berate OP. Just stop. You attacking other parents is not the way to alleviate whatever anxiety you have about your own kid.

OP, you should ask the school to evaluate your child.

The op should have the school evaluate the child at the expense of taxpayers, right? But we are entitled to our opinion that op has been negligent and lazy by not having the child evaluated and in some type of treatment prior to starting public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where is the part of your post where you detail the visits to the developmental pediatrician or child psychologist, the evaluations she had, and the diagnoses and discussion about treatment?

PLEASE tell me you did something along those lines in the two years between her first expulsion and this year's problems.

If you didn't, shame on you. This poor child is crying out for help. She has a mental disorder (and ADHD is probably the main factor, but there could be something else as well).

OP here. We did consequences, talking to her firmly making eye contact in a low tone voice, taken away TV, tablet, toys, grounding, ignoring her, time outs, etc. I am here looking for consequences that hopefully work. I never went to a developmental pediatrician, child psychologist or had an evaluation.

I agree with PP 100%. You're being negligent by not taking her to a psychologist or dev ped. This is so beyond the realm of normal behaviour from a child and your daughter desperately needs professional intervention.

[Anonymous]

This is very severe and unusual behavior. You need help parenting and supporting this child. I don't know if these issues are emotional or developmental or attention related or what, but you need to seek professional help for her and probably for yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Definitely needs to be evaluated by a child psychologist or developmental pediatrician ASAP. There is a bigger issue at play here and she needs professional help asap. Reach out to her school or pediatrician for references of who to see. Get on the list for an appt now as many have long waits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where is the part of your post where you detail the visits to the developmental pediatrician or child psychologist, the evaluations she had, and the diagnoses and discussion about treatment?

PLEASE tell me you did something along those lines in the two years between her first expulsion and this year's problems.

If you didn't, shame on you. This poor child is crying out for help. She has a mental disorder (and ADHD is probably the main factor, but there could be something else as well).

STOP IT. There is no need to berate OP. Just stop. You attacking other parents is not the way to alleviate whatever anxiety you have about your own kid.

OP, you should ask the school to evaluate your child.

No worries about my own kids, since they were evaluated as soon as concerns arose, which is precisely what OP failed to do.

OP, the school evaluations are perfunctory and conducted by people who do not have the degrees and experience of private practice psychologists. Bear in mind there might be a conflict of interest. If you have the money, a private evaluation is immeasurably better.

This is a serious parenting fail on your part, there's no polite way to say it. Make an appointment first thing on Monday.

[Anonymous]

OP, She doesn't act out at home???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, She doesn't act out at home???

Cough - well, OP probably lets her have her own way and turns a blind eye to behavior that would concern another parent.