Adult daughter unreasonable about babysitter

[Anonymous]

My daughter has not paid a babysitter even once in seven years for her children. We babysit at least twice a week, usually overnight once on weekends. On this date we are going to the beach the day they have a big elementary school benefit. She has two weeks notice to hire a sitter but whines her husband won't spend the $15-$20 for sitter. The more she whines (can't find a sitter, can't afford a sitter, blah blah) the angrier I feel. She's called three X in two days to complain.

[Anonymous]

^^^
$15-20 per hour for sitter. (typo)

[Anonymous]

Ignore her. You raised your children already. And she is lucky to have you help as much as she does.

[Anonymous]

She wants you to solve her problem. Just say, "sorry to hear that." And change the subject.

[Anonymous]

omg, can I trade moms? You sound amazing for helping as much as you do!

You've spoiled her and shes gotten used to you coming to the rescue. This time, too bad. Shes going to have to figure it out and she has enough time to do so. We use baby sitters all the time and they are great.

[Anonymous]

Considering all the $$$$ her husband has saved o ER the last SEVEN years, $80 or so for one night is a bargain. Tell her that and then change the subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to solve her problem. Just say, "sorry to hear that." And change the subject.

+1 She and her DH should be kissing the ground you walk on.

[Anonymous]

You need to be direct and firm and say that you are leaving at such and such a time on X day. And respond same way over and over again - or excuse yourself from conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Considering all the $$$$ her husband has saved o ER the last SEVEN years, $80 or so for one night is a bargain. Tell her that and then change the subject.

THIS. Can't believe they have nerve to whine to you. You have done far more than many other grandparents are able/willing.

[Anonymous]

Yep. "that's too bad" and change the subject. Literally make a list of subjects before you even take her calls.

[Anonymous]

Just say "mmmmm" and change the subject. They can find a sitter or not go.

[Anonymous]

It's hard when you haven't acclimated your children to a stranger's care.
But she needs to figure it out. Stay firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has not paid a babysitter even once in seven years for her children. We babysit at least twice a week, usually overnight once on weekends. On this date we are going to the beach the day they have a big elementary school benefit. She has two weeks notice to hire a sitter but whines her husband won't spend the $15-$20 for sitter. The more she whines (can't find a sitter, can't afford a sitter, blah blah) the angrier I feel. She's called three X in two days to complain.

Tell her to get a job so she can pay a sitter herself.

[Anonymous]

Direct communication?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has not paid a babysitter even once in seven years for her children. We babysit at least twice a week, usually overnight once on weekends. On this date we are going to the beach the day they have a big elementary school benefit. She has two weeks notice to hire a sitter but whines her husband won't spend the $15-$20 for sitter. The more she whines (can't find a sitter, can't afford a sitter, blah blah) the angrier I feel. She's called three X in two days to complain.

Tell her to get a job so she can pay a sitter herself.

What makes you think she isn't working? Not that it matters here, but some spouses have the same opposition to getting a sitter when both spouses work. So, PP, your comment was unhelpful.

OP, finding a sitter is your daughter and SIL's problem. I agree with ignoring her complaints. If pressed, stay firm and Ask your DD what she's going to do instead. She might have to skip this event. Does her DH think she's over involved in school events?